My mother and birthday card gate

[Whatdoesitmatteranyway]

Just wondering who is being unreasonable here.

Today is my mums 75th. For her birthday she got an iPAD and I ordered a large bunch of roses with a card which are due to be delivered today.

I'm staying at hers monday-thursday for work reasons and got up this morning and wished her happy birthday.

She's going out for lunch with an uncle of mine which I didnt know about so I mentioned to her that flowers were going to be arriving and I hoped they arrived before she went out if not hopefully the neighbours would take them in.

First thing she said was "where's my card?"

I explained that there was a card on the flowers and I thought flowers were a nice gesture and that anyway in view cards are for when you can't give best wishes in person or if the recipient doesnt qualify for a present.

"Flowers are nice but a card would also be nice"

I phone her to warn her about road works she might get affected by and got "well I wouldn't normally go that way but I might today looking for my card".

I had planned not to bother sending cards anymore because they are a pain in the back side and end up in the bin - text messages/phone calls are better in my view.

Anyway looks like I'm going to have to continue at least as far as mothers concerned.

So AIBU for thinking flowers with a card is enough or is she for behaving like a petty toddler?

@Catrina1234
Op's mother may love card's but the point is that she was rude and ungrateful for all of the other things that OP's daughter had done. Again she could have said "thank you so much for the thoughtful gifts, for next year though, the thing I want the most is a lovely card, picked by you!"

The OP has already stated that she finds cards a PITA and trying to phase them out.

The OP had given the laptop a week prior to mum's birthday.
The flowers were coming later that day. All the mum had asked for repeatedly over the years is a card on the morning of her birthday

OP needs to take this as 'lessons learned' from their post implementation review instead of regarding cards as a PITA.

ferrier you say that a handwritten card with a generic verse is more personal than a moonpig one. I disagree. When I send a moonpig card I chose one or more photos to upload. I then choose the words and often make up my own verse, personalised to the person receiving the card.
In a card shop you can rarely get a card with the words you want to say, whereas the personalised Moonpig cards can be a lovely keepsake.

I agree the mum shouldn't have been so rude and been grateful for the lovely thoughtful presents.
However; I do understand where she is coming from. I would honestly rather have a card on the right day than a gift of any sort. A card on my birthday makes me feel someone really cares. I am happy if I don't get any gifts, and certainly don't expect an expensive present.
I really, really don't get any pleasure from Facebook messages or email or whatever. They can't be held or kept or cherished. (I keep many of my cards, especially family ones) I'm afraid I see the Facebook messages as a way for the sender to show off the sender and an embarrassment for the recipient.
Odd I know, but that's just the way I was brought up and sadly remain.

The word is cantankerous

Cards are a load of nonsense.

I am so shocked at some of the comments on this thread and can't believe that you didn't give your mum a card on her birthday, especially when you live with her. At 75 it clearly means more to her to receive a hand written card with a heart felt message in then some ordered flowers with a card some time later that day and I think many people would feel the same. As you get older belongings mean less and sentiment more. The gifts don't seem at all personal and clicking on line and having things delivered looks like you just cant be bothered. Is is so much to buy and write a card, you sound very cold, many people have lost their mums at 75, you should cherish yours a lot more.