AIBU - Splitting the cost of the bride for the hen do between the hens?

[HenDoo]

I’ve name changed for this as paranoid the bridesmaids are on here! My friend’s hen do is coming up, and planning is underway for a few days abroad. I don’t know any of the bridesmaids very well, and have never met the one who is organising it.

The MOH has just put on the group chat that we will be splitting the cost of the brides share between all of us. There was no question of asking if everyone was okay with paying this, it was just kind of announced, and no one else has questioned it yet.

Am I being a tightarse for resenting being expected to stump up another £50 (minimum - might be more as still not booked anything yet)? I know it's "only" £50, but I’m on a fairly tight budget this year as hopefully buying a house, and am literally crawling towards pay day right now! I have a few hen dos to go to, which all seem to have creeping costs ,

Is it the norm to split the brides share of her hen do between the guests now?!

well done OP- sadly i have witnessed this with a hen myself that once the bride/ organisers get demanding or grabby inevitably numbers dwindle and the only one that loses out in the bride- celebrations are often about numbers.

Well done OP! I bet you feel better. Especially since you're not the only one pulling out. I told it would be double the £300.. SO glad you and your big girl pants have reigned.

You will all have more fun doing something more low key more relaxed and cheaper. I promise!

Well done OP. The money that they were asking for is ridiculous.

£500+ for a hen do?! I’m agog.

My hens all paid for my dinner and drinks, I had no idea that was a thing until after the meal when I got my purse out and was told to put it away. It was pizza and drinks for ten of us so they probably chipped in an extra four quid each to cover my share. I wasn’t expecting it at all and felt very touched.

I can’t imagine asking my friends to fork out hundreds, then ask them to chip in another fifty odd to pay for me! That’s just crazy.

Well done for saying no to the madness, maybe it’ll end up being pizza and drinks too when they realise everyone is pulling out!

Well the bride is paying for you to come to the wedding isn't she.

See its this kind of twisted thinking that has given rise to all this nonsense. Accepting an invitation to a wedding is in honour of the bride not the guest, unless you are a duchess! It is the bride & groom who you are doing a favour when you accept a wedding invitation.
The guests are going out of their way and spending money that would otherwise have sat nicely in their account or gone towards personal things to make your day an enjoyable one. Or perhaps these bridezillas would rather get married on their own because believe you me, the worst thing that can happen to a couple on their wedding day is for none of the guests to show up .

"Well the bride is paying for you to come to the wedding isn't she."

Well her parents are paying for the majority of the wedding, so technically not the bride herself.

But anyway, isn't paying for travel to and from the wedding, drinks while there, and a nice wedding gift sufficient?!

Yes @HenDoo it totally is!

I've never been to a hen do where everyone pays for the bride and I've been on loads! I've never even heard of it.

My best friend lives abroad and last year she came home to UK for 2 weeks to have both her 'abroad' hen, her 'home' hen AND her wedding! So within a fortnight my friends and I paid for a weekend in Barcelona, then the following weekend a meal plus night out for those who didn't attend Barca on the Friday then the actual wedding on the Sunday! My kids were invited to the wedding too so it cost us a fortune in outfits, wedding gift, hen do and stag do as my DH is also a friend of the groom!

Don't grudge it one bit, but would've been a bit peeved if it had been suggested we paid for the bride!

I never pay for thr r bride. Love a holiday hen do but im only paying for me!