To object to an 11yr old girl sharing a bedroom with a 16yr old boy?

[wishuponarainbow]

Looking for opinions please!

Is it ever OK for a 16yr old boy (man?) to share a room with an 11yr old girl?

They are not blood relatives.

Your poor daughter x

So he's bullying his own daughter as well. She must feel so confused

Is therefore another child in the room?

Seriously? Petrified? He’s a 16 yo boy, not Freddy Kruger

Cos sleeping in the same room as a 16 yr old boy who ikely the size of a full grown man that she's not related to and barely knows is not scary at all for an 11 yr old

I was scared of my own brother as a kid and he was 2 years younger than me..

If he'd have been 5 years older well....

Yes, he already shares a room with his half sister.

Just checked NSPCC website (thanks for advice!) and it states

"There is currently no law in the United Kingdom about children of different genders sharing a bedroom. We would not advise that children of the opposite sex over the age of 10 share a room."

Sorry if I missed it but did she tell him she felt uncomfortable?

Not that she should have to.

She didn't tell her dad that she was uncomfortable at the time, no.

She said she didn't want to be rude.
She broke down and told me when she was at home.
I then contacted her Dad and told him what she said, her feelings about it happening again and mine.
He's not listening.

Your poor DD, her dad's answer to saying she doesn't feel comfortable sharing the room is to bully her.

Poor lass. She'll most probably never forget this and it will alter her view of him for good. How sad. At least she's got a good and nice Mum though.

''It was just to illustrate the point that the OPs ex is being unreasonable to ask his 11 year old DD to share with a 16 year old boy who isn't her brother.''

even if it was her brother i don't think kids should be sharing after 11ish if they are the opposite sex.

I can see why the child would be really uncomfortable. This isn’t even a sibling or ‘known’ 16 yr old. Her dad doesn’t live with his mum yet and it’s not like they will have been playing together like siblings. No doubt the boy has been out with friends or in his room when they’ve been together as a family. So she’s being asked to share her sleeping space with a practical stranger who’s a lot older than her. I wouldn’t like that never mind an 11 yr old!

No way. Your ex has serious issues if he cannot see this is inappropriate.

If everyone was sleeping in the same room - as in a big group of people away on holidays together including responsible parents - then I would see no issue in this, a 16 year old and an 11 year old by themselves, not a chance that is ok!

YANBU

Yes it would really make me worry about other judgement calls of his regarding her too.

No. Fuckin'. Way! He needs to sort it, or she doesnt go back for overnight stays. Dear God, what is wrong with some people

No no a million times no. I was 13 when my 18 year old stepbrother sexually abused me for A MONTH because of the same godamn attitude. There are boundaries that need to be enforced, that IS NOT OK.

This is a recipe for disaster.
I would go to the end of the earth to facilitate contact with her df but it wouldn't include overnight stays.
And don't believe what he says about safety. He sounds very selfish and he is putting his DD at risk.
I would wonder how the 16yo feels about it

Of course it isn't OK
Is somebody suggesting it is? If so they are either stupid or up to no good.

She shouldn't have to share a room with anyone that she is uncomfortable sharing with. Her dad should absolutely respect that.

That said, it's really sad that some people think the girl must be petrified. Most 16 year old lads would probably just be a bit pissed off to have to share anyone, boy or girl but wouldn't be a threat to an 11 year old girl.

How old is the female sibling he already shares with? That's a different bent to 11 year old girls in room with 16 year old boy. So already a younger female shares the room and sleeps in there? So the two you get females go to bed at the same time? Your daughter is uncomfortable- that's all that matters. But that's a bit different to what you e originally posted.

He already shares with a female sibling? I have just seen that post OP. You cannot let her stay there.

Don't answer any more of his texts. Keep all of his, both to you and to DD.

You are completely reasonable here and so is your DD.

Do you have a court ordered visitation agreement in place?
If so, go back to court and detail the changed sleeping arrangements and ask for an order that DD is not to be made to share with an unrelated person of the opposite sex..
If not, keep DD home from visitation and your Ex can whistle go to court himself if he seriously thinks any judge would permit what he wants to force DD to do..

Send notice to ex that you are going to petition the court for clarification, if you have a court ordered agreement, and that you are not going to send DD for her EOW visitation until the issue has been ruled on due to the obvious safeguarding issue.
As a solution, she could share with the half sister of the boy and he could sleep on a couch, or she could sleep on a couch.

If you have no court ordered agreement then you don't have to send any notice or petition the court. You are not in breach of any agreement that can be enforced if you refuse to send her if you do not have a court ordered agreement. Ex can go to court himself, but he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

SD1978 I was thinking the same but since everyone else was screaming different I thought I was being a dick :(

No