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AIBU?

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Original poster

People that have been in Jail.

433 replies

firsttimedad79 · 20/01/2019 07:55

I was just reading another thread about someone who had been in jail and was surprised by the negativity.

It wasn't mentioned what he had been in for or anything, it just assumed he was a bad person.

I've been inside twice in my youth, but I wouldn't consider myself a bad person. I made mistakes when I was younger but it doesn't dictate who I am now.

AIBU in thinking people automatically assume your bad because you've done time?

OP posts:
canidoitnow · 21/01/2019 20:48

@Fusioluxe sorry didn't quote exact text but still an assumption by saying I missed them out!

Dogsmellssobadbob · 21/01/2019 20:49

I’m incredulous at your punishment canidoitnow

Fusioluxe · 21/01/2019 20:50

canidoitnow

Nobody has said you have missed them out though. Show me where someone has said it.

Dogsmellssobadbob · 21/01/2019 20:51

I don’t get it
Just over the limit in an area where the limit is about to go up to 50
Cyclist has no bright gear or lights
Cyclist shot thru a red light
No alcohol in you
Not texting or distracted
No previous crime or driving offenses
A young child of your own
You stop after the accident appropriately and admit it

And you get four years in prison???

Puzzledandpissedoff · 21/01/2019 20:51

There are so many excuses on this thread. Minimising. Outright lies. Laughably stupid lies which a quick google will uncover

I imagine anyone involved in the police / justice system will recognise this technique instantly

There isn’t actually one person on the entire thread who is a criminal or a pal of one who has held their hands up without lying, minimising, victim blaming or having an excuse*

This one too

Fusioluxe · 21/01/2019 20:52

canidoitnow

Someone saying that you don’t mention some of the details in your story that are in the other woman’s story is not accusing you of “missing them out”, it’s just a fact.

Fusioluxe · 21/01/2019 20:53

Puzzledandpissedoff

What techniques? The blame shifting?

rytonsister · 21/01/2019 20:56

As a person who works in the criminal justice system none of this thread surprised me. How boringly unsurprising.

Lizzie48 · 21/01/2019 20:57

I wasn't aware that a 'death by careless driving' conviction could lead to a four year sentence, especially the circumstances you describe. I think that's the reason for the scepticism on here.

canidoitnow · 21/01/2019 20:58

@Fusioluxe sorry said it wrong again meant to say didn't mention.

Except for a couple of details, very important details, that you don’t mention.

That is a clear assumption. As she has not asked if it is me, she has said I didn't mention, assuming it was me and I hadn't told the whole story!

Regardless we're crying over spilt milk, it's not me and therefore didn't omit mentioning anything.

canidoitnow · 21/01/2019 21:00

@Lizzie48

The maximum prison sentence the court can impose for causing death by dangerous driving or careless driving under the influence of drink or drugs is 14 years; for causing death by careless or inconsiderate driving it is five years;

Fusioluxe · 21/01/2019 21:03

canidoitnow But she didn’t say that! I think your defensiveness is colouring your view. Weirdly so actually!

She said you didn’t mention the increased speed limit or the texting in that case. You are saying that she said you missed out those details. They are not the same thing!

Fusioluxe · 21/01/2019 21:04

You are also saying she is assuming
I have the the woman in the very similar case is you. No she’s not.

Schuyler · 21/01/2019 21:05

I am a close relative of someone who was convicted of fraud. He behaved very badly and I’m ashamed of the hurt he caused to the victims and to his family. He was greedy because he wanted the money and he was cocky because he thought he’d get away with his crime. I don’t know if I think he is a bad person, as such, I don’t think he’s a good person though.

Fusioluxe · 21/01/2019 21:05

*that the women in the others case...

Chasingrainbows10 · 21/01/2019 21:06

I also work in the justice system, with minors. I wouldn’t be able to do my job if I believed any of those i work with are just ‘bad people’. But I realise I am in the minority here. Most people I know and family do have this view.

I am a big believer that people can change. And that’s what fuels my career. People are never all bad, they make bad choices, and some bigger bad choices than others. I don’t agree with what they have done, condone it or minimise it.

But at the end of it all, most of these people won’t stay locked up forever, particularly minors. So they will be back in the community at some point. If we can’t believe in change for them, then in my opinion that’s really sad. It has to be tried and supported, and writing people off as bad doesn’t really help anyone at all.

Craft1905 · 21/01/2019 21:10

@LostSoul69 My DH has been in prison. He is def not a bad person and is actually very respectable. He was a bit of a wild child in his youth and got caught for drink driving (2nd offence). He was sentenced to teach the other (posh) college students and himself a lesson. He was made an example of. It has made him a more rounded person, he can get on with anyone from any walk of life.

He'd probably struggle to get on with someone who'd lost a loved one due to a drunk driver.

Fusioluxe · 21/01/2019 21:11

Sorry, not “increased speed limit” in my above post, the (increased compared to yours) speed at which the woman was driving.

canidoitnow · 21/01/2019 21:11

@Fusioluxe

canidoitnow I think tiger means that there is a case identical to yours, age, dates, times, child, marital circumstance, speed limit, cyclist, clothing, time of day, sentence, that is all over the internet. Except for a couple of details, very important details, that you don’t mention.

Coincidence?

Do you know how many women were locked up for 4 years for killing a cyclist in the manner and period you describe?

That is her exact post, my original point when replying to her is that she has wrongly assumed it was me, she didn't ask if it was.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 21/01/2019 21:13

Fusioluxe All of it ... the blame shifting, excuses, silly lies, minimising, victim blaming and all the rest

And all so sadly predictable

Fusioluxe · 21/01/2019 21:13

Chasingrainbows10 is there a point, when the person is no longer a minor, where you would label them as a “bad” person?

Schuyler · 21/01/2019 21:16

From what I’ve read about the other woman, it looks like it was never proven that she was texting. It is very, very similar. I can see why people think it’s you canidoitnow as the details are uncanny.

Fusioluxe · 21/01/2019 21:17

canidoitnow

But she did ask. It’s there in black and white! She explained why she thought one of the other posters had asked you if you were telling the truth and then asked you if it was a coincidence.

She says “Coincidence?”

She doesn’t say “That’s you!”

Schuyler · 21/01/2019 21:19

Your initial post said it was 12 years since it happened. The man in the newspaper was killed by a speeding female single mother of a 4 year old in February 2007.

canidoitnow · 21/01/2019 21:21

@Fusioluxe we can agree to disagree as I think we are reading the same post but viewing the context differently. So let's just leave it at that. Smile

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