CF parent demanding money

[ChickenPieBumFace]

I'll try and keep this brief. Last year just before Xmas DD11 was getting changed from PE and her skirt was gone. She got upset as we were due to meet her brother after school, so several friends offered their PE skorts. One actually bought some over. But then her BF said she would go home in her PE kit so that she could borrow a skirt and still be able to go out and meet her little brother. Skorts are folded and girl is thanked but have a skirt now. Skirt is later returned to BFF.
So DD skirt turns out to have been picked up accidentally by another pupil who says for weeks that she will bring it back in and now, 2 weeks into the new term is saying she doesn't actually have it etc. Last week I called into the school to ask reception if there was anything they could do, maybe have a word with the girl and ask her to bring it in, but stated I was unsure there was much the school could do in reality.

Anyway, I have just been woken by a text from the mum of the girl who offered her skorts, but was not taken up on it. This mum works at the school in the office. She has said that she wanted to give me the heads up. Her daughter cannot find her skorts and is holding my DD responsible. She has spoken with one of the teachers and that they have agreed between them that I will have to buy a new pair (£25) and replace them as it is my daughters fault. Now I have a problem with this on a few levels. Firstly if the school are dealing with it, why text me throwing around decisions that have been made without any consultation. Certainly don't have both sides of the story. And at midnight! Secondly I don't agree (having now read the texts between the girls) that my DD is responsible. And finally is this favouritism? I asked the school to deal with an identical problem and heard nothing back. The woman who works there has used her position to demand a new skort. Don't know if this makes a difference but this is a private school. My DD has a scholarship as I could never afford to send her otherwise. I do feel like I am not in a position to rock the boat (I still pay 50%) but want to report her unprofessional behaviour to the school. and ask that if they want to demand it of me, they should demand it if the girl who took my DDs skirt. My DD is adamant that she told the girl that she didn't need her skorts (she definitely was wearing a skirt because I was mad she had lost it on this day and we have pictures from her with her brother). She is also adamant that she has seen this girl in the skorts since as this has only been raised this week. AIBU to think this mum is a Cheeky fucker. Her text was very conclusive. We have decided at the school you are to buy new skorts. We will of course return (not refund) the new skorts if the old ones turn up. We expect you to sort this out etc. Sorry it got long (and a bit first world problems) but I am furious

Don’t mention you think they were planted. Or even how odd it was that they had been where your DD said they were all along. Just say you have been informed the clothing has been found where your DD had left it yet instead of apologies your daughter has been accused of planting the item in front of peers.

I don't think the OP will be back...simply because for her the issue is resolved.

And that's all that matters

You're right Carpe

It's easy for us keyboard warriors to sound off, but OP knows er own child and what she wants is important, too.

I would take it further in a passive/aggressive sort of way, personally - but that's me.

But it’s not resolved now. The CF has again abused her position as a member of staff, this tome to publicly accuse OP DD of having had the skorts then planting them back in the changing room. It is not about the skorts, it is about the member of staff’s behaviour.

I think the op would be ill advised to kick off and escalate about this.

I think an entirely separate conversation of past (in primary) and current bullying behaviour with pastoral head needs to be had but not as a direct retaliation to what has just happened.

I agree RandomMess - I'm sorry to hear it has started up again but it may just be CF DD trying to save face amongst the girls. I agree that CF PA is being incredibly unprofessional if she is involved. I wouldn't want her as my PA. Either way I would definitely mentioned it to Head of Pastoral care. Then it is recorded if anything further happens. Something is clearly not right and it sounds like Head relies on his staff to sort things and may not be too invested. It is a large school as OP says.

I would leave it now but OP needs to slip this into conversation when she next sees the HT in person. We've all seen some threads on here where it's clear that the CFer in question is fucking batshit (softzilla anyone? )so it's not out of the realms of possibility that this one could be the same. The emails certainly could have been from her and deleted before HT saw them. LOPs DD has 7 years of having to interact with this family.