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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Return of the awful school gate mum

258 replies

Winterfellwonderland · 18/01/2019 12:45

Not sure if anyone read my previous thread about the women who wants me to be her nanny for free?

Today's encounter:
Frantic phone calls every 5mins from 8am this morning and I ignored them all. Got mine off to nursery, dropped DH off at station and got to the big school on time, this women comes running down the path to the school, face like thunder, the kids run off together and she turns to me, "I've been calling you all morning"
Me: I left my phone at home sorry, are you ok?
"No! Does it bloody look like I'm ok?"
Me: awkward laugh errrr what's wrong?
"My hairs still wet and I couldn't find my coat, im really tired and couldn't bring myself to come out, even thought of calling child in sick"
Me: awwwhh poor you

Yes she genuinely believes it's my responsibility to accommodate her in this way. Don't mind my kids and my own responsibilities, her needs are obviously my priority😬😬😬 she's really arsey and rude to me because I didn't help her!

Sorry I just wanted to vent this x

OP posts:
DarkDarkNight · 18/01/2019 13:20

Fightingfit2019 original thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3474713-To-not-want-to-share-the-school-run

DarkDarkNight · 18/01/2019 13:21

Cross post Inspector

Original poster
Winterfellwonderland · 18/01/2019 13:21

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3474713-To-not-want-to-share-the-school-run

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterfellwonderland · 18/01/2019 13:22

Oops cross posts

OP posts:
BlancheM · 18/01/2019 13:22

'Hahaha I don't have the time to check my phone in the mornings, it's manic isn't it?'

She's probably extinguished the good nature of her family and friends.

Tell her about homestart or that she should ask her GP/HV to refer her for help as she's struggling.

RelaxedSelfGuiding · 18/01/2019 13:24

I read you first post OP. Just block her. You don't need this crap and she needs to pay for a registered childminder. Honestly, some people!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/01/2019 13:25

Unless you have a REALLY good reason for staying phone contact with her, I'd block her number too - or at least have it on permanent divert!

You did well to avoid/ignore - but I also agree with others that you were FAR too sympathetic to her outrageous and ridiculous demands when she saw you - you should have just laughed in her face, and said "I'm sorry, what? You couldn't be arsed to do your job as their parent and you wanted me to pick up your slack? Not bloody likely!"

Original poster
Winterfellwonderland · 18/01/2019 13:28

minicooperlover I have said NO to a permanent arrangement and listed various reasons. I wasn't brave enough to say because I don't want to but today wasn't the first time she's called/asked for help with pick ups. I think she's just a pusher, pushes her luck as much as possible.

OP posts:
IRanSoFarAway · 18/01/2019 13:28

I've just read your previous thread, have read a few threads on Mumsnet where certain CF expect random people to provide free child care, then get upset and angry when people refuse! I would never ask people to do this or would do it for others unless it really was the one time.
Do not engage with this woman at all! If she runs after you in the street, just say you are late and need to go, bye!

cstaff · 18/01/2019 13:31

I have to say the CF threads are always the most entertaining. I just don't know where people get the neck to ask / expect other people to do the things they do.

Tinkobell · 18/01/2019 13:31

Either she is a complete and utter loon as most posters are suggesting OP, or actually there's more to this and perhaps you've opened up or set some kind of expectation in the past perhaps? Maybe something along the lines of "if you ever find yourself in a fix, perhaps we can help each other out"? I find the story a bit weird tbh, not many people really act our the blue in the way you've described OP.

PlumpSyrianHamster · 18/01/2019 13:32

Grow a spine! Block her. She confronts you again you just tell her, 'I am not available to provide childcare for you. Ever.'

ingesw · 18/01/2019 13:32

Block, avoid and turn into one of those people that has an air of someone to whom people do not dare be rude or take advantage of. The last one on the list is the hardest (fake it till you make it), but doesn’t need shouting or rudeness, just calm boundaries. I did hear it’s either a minute of uncomfortableness (while you say no) versus several months of resentment!

And in this case, never explain and never apologise!

ingesw · 18/01/2019 13:34

...when you list reasons, some people (usually CF’s) see it as an invitation to pick your reasons apart and push you to give in, I think they think that if they overcome your reasons that you will give in.

Ethel36 · 18/01/2019 13:34

Just read your other post. I would carry on ignoring her calls/messages. When she asks you at school just tell the truth that you're too busy in the mornings rushing around. If asked to share the school run just explain that you already have other drop offs in the morning so sharing lifts doesnt work for you. Recommend a local child minder.

Wafflenose · 18/01/2019 13:34

I've heard it all now!!

I was up in the night having an asthma attack and ended up sleeping through my alarm and waking up at 7.59 this morning...EEK! Eldest DD's school bus had already left, so I yanked her out of bed, threw on some clothes and chucked random items in lunch boxes! She got dressed, grabbed an apple and we were in the car by 8.15. When I got back, younger DD (10) had got herself ready and I was able to see her off to school. It didn't occur to me that this might be anyone's problem other than mine!

FromDespairToHere · 18/01/2019 13:37

Wow, just read both threads. Where do people get their arrogance from to think that the world owes them everything?

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 18/01/2019 13:37

I have to say the CF threads are always the most entertaining. I just don't know where people get the neck to ask / expect other people to do the things they do

Seconded

But I also marvel at how loath to offend some folk are too who can’t say no to these decency vampires, seriously.

FrancisCrawford · 18/01/2019 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 18/01/2019 13:42

She is bonkers. Just block

I would honestly mention this to school though. It’s really not normal to think your child can’t go to school because you have wet hair. The mind boggles.

JamesBlonde1 · 18/01/2019 13:45

Tell her to ring social services if she can’t cope getting her child to school. They’ll help her with that. Lazy, cheeky cow.

watt36 · 18/01/2019 13:46

Why don't you just tell her to piss off? What is actually preventing you?

JeezOhGeeWhizz · 18/01/2019 13:49

Mother of god. She's mad.
Keep doing what you're doing, OP.
Don't even engage with her horseshit.

BarbaraRoyale · 18/01/2019 13:50

You are aiding the drama by not just telling her straight . Be practical, even if you wanted to help you have too much on your plate. Look her in the eye and say no.

Rachel0Greep · 18/01/2019 13:52

Why don't you just tell her to piss off? What is actually preventing you?

Exactly.