to think I can't be the only one who is a mess on the school run?

[LeenaMarie]

DSD (7) and DS (3 months).

School run I'm about to do this morning (DSD lives 16 miles away so it's a trek at this time when roads are nuts!).

I've got leggings and underwear on I had on yesterday. Still have my pyjama top on under my jumper/coat. Haven't brushed my teeth yet. Etc etc.

Totally exhausted from breastfeeding all night. Found it easier when DS was 0-8 weeks as he slept a lot better. The last month has been HARD!

DH does most of the school runs but he doesn't have to wake up in the night to breastfeed so always has time for a shower and seems really together.

I'm just... a mess when it's my turn!

Anyone else?

I plan on going straight back to bed when I get in as I'm exhausted!

Changed your underwear before bed? So you had them on all night? I assure you they do smell, you just can't smell them. I never get mums in dressing gowns or pjs on the school run. We all go through the same stuff in the morning. Don't get me wrong I look a state, but I'm dressed and clean. I hope you don't get too bashed on here, people can be really mean, but yes YABU

These are tough days and you're doing brilliantly to get the kids together and in to school on time. If it means a quick messy 'up-do' and (shock horror) pants that have been on all of 10 hours and will get changed when you get home then do it! When you are BF you just have to go with the flow a bit.

Are you the poster whose DH has shared residency but expects you to do a really long roundtrip to school, with the newborn baby in the car seat, who needs feeding and comforting on the journey? The one who was so tired she feared crashing with the kids in the car?
If so, you have posted before and was told to stop facilitating your husband. His child, his responsibility to step up because you have your own things going on.
No condemnation from me about morning routine, but you do need to resolve this situation.

Christ some people are real assholes.

Your underwear won't spontaneously combust. And unless the other parents are sniffing your crotch you're fine. Just do the school run and shower when you get back.

You are doing a great job. Your DSD won’t remember what you wore but she will remember you taking her to school (and caring for her).

I always wash before bed and definitely don’t change that underwear when I wake up, what a waste of clean underwear that would be!

The not brushing teeth is the only rank bit, it’s only a two minute job. I have three DC in primary school and am BFing my 11 week old. I don’t look like a supermodel on the school run by any means but my teeth and hair are always brushed.

Who cares - no one can smell you in the few seconds of dropping off.
Although once I did this and hadn’t brushed teeth and that was the day DD’s teachers wanted to have a word before school. I was cringing. Learnt my lesson

Intrigued at how much intensive crotch sniffing must be happening on some school runs if PP’s think they can identify a pair of knickers that have been worn for, at most, 10 hours.

Presumably those of you afflicted with this outstanding sense of smell change your own pants in between finishing work and going out in the evening? What a lot of laundry you must be doing!

As long as you are changing underwear once a day it really doesn't matter when. My thing is teeth and eyes, as long as I clean my eyes and brush my teeth I can reluctantly face the world. Honestly though, I BF DD (now 4 and still latches on!), and really struggled to get my elder child to school due to cluster feeds etc. I think it's only easy if it's easy for you, everyone has different levels of what they can manage against how little sleep they have had. When I would drop DS off at school I used to see another Mum lugging a car seat with a baby and a toddler with her to do the school run and I was in awe! My would only sleep on or next to me and woke every 2 hours if not cluster feeding then HATED being in a car seat or pram.
Also my guess is the OP is sat down nursing, easy to type a post with a baby on the boob, not so easy to brush teeth!

If anyone can smell your underwear they are standing too close.

The not cleaning your teeth isn't really bad if you are cleaning them when you get back. I might have some chewing gum or use some mouthwash just incase I need to talk to anyone, but I am very conscious of my breath.

Oh god I definitely made the right decision not having step children if this is the result I couldn't leave the house without make up on

I used to get up that tiny bit earlier and have a shower while dd screamed for me and toddler ds was causing mayhem. Dh was also there! It only took a few minutes. Same for teeth brushing.

This was despite BF all night and being broken from terrible sleep.

OP you don’t have to be a martyr. Just take that time for yourself. It’s only a few minutes and won’t make a difference as to how tired you are.

The underwear thing doesn't bother me but the teeth thing does. That's disgusting. It only takes 2 minutes. I can't stand the feeling of unbrushed teeth especially going outside with unbrushed teeth! Rank.

Is it you who can’t get your acts together or is it the fact that your DH actually does les than you in the am AND he is knackered?

Eg when it’s your turn, you look after dsd and dd wherea when it’s his turn, he only looks after dsd, nit dd as she stays with you.

I’d look at the big picture there and have a chat with him about how yo are really struggling to cope due to the lack of sleep. I wouod delegate some of the morning routine to him, whether he then takes dsd to school or not.

My baby is 3 months old and I don't have another other kids to ferry about. I'm no longer breastfeeding either. Yet my little demon is a demanding sod and I'm fkg knackered. She gets the mug on when I leave the room. Sometimes it's 12pm and I realise I still haven't brushed my teeth or gotten dressed yet. Not everyone has the perfect movie experience when it comes to babies. Ignore previous PP and keep doing what you're doing! Anyone who has a problem with you can wind themselves up about it but it sure aint your problem x

I think pp are being very harsh. I shower before bed and pur clean underwear on so I don't see why I would change again in the morning if I had to do a school run.
The teeth I would always brush but she has a new baby and is exhausted.
we've all been there op6 don't worry. And for what it's worth mine are all over 5 and I still often look a mess on the morning run.

I am very pregnant and in the last week I've been taking dd to nursery in my pyjamas (under my coat.) have a bath and change when I get back! It's only a five minute drive and nobody cares 😀

You’re taking her to school 16 miles away. You’ll never see these people in your day to day life, so who cares what you look like. Give yourself a big pat on the back for getting everyone ready and out on time. (And if you have to have playground chat, keep some chewing gum in the car for those days you’ve not brushed your teeth)

Meh, fuck it OP. Everyone is fed and where they need to be.

You’re doing a great job

I have a 7yo, 2yo and 3mo. I feel your pain. It's hard to fit it all in. My strategy is to set stuff up the night before and then my alarm goes off at 545am when DH is still there. I get dressed, face wash and brush teeth. DH then leaves at 6am which means I'm now ready. I have a bath the night before as I don't have time for a shower in the morning, I also wear fresh pj's nightly, so I'm clean in the morning. It's the only way I can fit everything in.

People are so nasty and judgemental.
Honestly even if op does smell (and i’d bet she doesn’t), so what? She’s been up half the night and is dropping her kids at school. I wasn’t aware that cars had a sensor which stops them working if you don’t smell perfectly fresh.
Sleep is an essential human need, smelling fresh is not. Prioritise what’s important to your health and mental health (I.e. sleep and eating)

I hope you manage to get some sleep when you get back.

I can't imagine having to do the school run during the baby days, lord knows what I'd have looked like 😂

I can't believe so many people are uptight about this! You've got your priorities exactly right OP.

sparklesq

Why would underwear that had been worn overnight smell? I can’t see any reason for that unless you have a really sweaty crotch or issue with discharge.

Intrigued at how much intensive crotch sniffing must be happening on some school runs if PP’s think they can identify a pair of knickers that have been worn for, at most, 10 hours

You’re fine, OP. Just make sure you brush your teeth when you get home later. Nobody’s going to be getting close to your knickers or snogging you on the school run.....unless yours is significantly more exciting than mine, anyway 😂