I've refused CAMHS support. Will I get flagged up as a bad parent?

[Seline]

For a quick background I've got one DS with additional needs 3 and DS and DD who were born at 26 weeks and had a long NICU stay.

My 3 year old is speech delayed and has problems with biting when he can't communicate, and throws objects when frustrated. I've asked for support for him and got an EP involved and 121 support at his nursery which helps.

Today I was offered early CAMHS support. Apparently they come into your home and discuss the family and how to support him. Apparently all the work is in your house. I absolutely hate home visits because one I'm an introvert and it feels intrusive, I am very socially awkward and feel anxious with people and two I have so many appointments for the twins as they have ongoing medical concerns.

I was already worried about HV appointments for this reason but they have been very understanding.

I declined the camhs explaining that I can't fit it in and want some normality at home after such a long hospitalization. They said that's fine and they'll just document it was offered

Am I going to be flagged as difficult for this? I have a huge fear of losing my children (dying/kidnapping/SS/Getting lost) because I was told several times they would die and it's left me quite worried.

He hasn't been clinically assessed Tippexy! They were perfectly happy with what support he currently has and they haven't seen him for months. Its only because I rang them myself and asked for something else that they offered it!

Kleinzeit I think you have a good point about it being a new service may mean that they're still developing what they have on offer. I don't like agreeing to things for me or the kids unless I know exactly what I'm signing up for, how can I consent when I'm unaware of what I'm consenting to? I'm aware this isn't how everyone sees it but I like things to be clear and concise.

I meant social workers here and a social worker I know who I asked also said it wasn't an issue unless other factors are at play. The person who offered it me from pediatrics also wasn't concerned and said while she does recommend it as it's helpful, it's entirely my choice as it's a very difficult time.

The impression I got was that it's a new service and they're eager to try it out and get it up and running, and as I had volunteered for more support they thought they'd offer it to us.

Wow this has gone on and on. I don't think you're doing yourself any favours by sitting on here arguing with everyone who posts. You've clearly made your decision so why don't you leave it at that and let yourself have some peace now.
You've said you know best for your son, you don't think anyone else suggestions are appropriate so why not just give yourself a break. I'd be so stressed if I decided to answer to all these posts when I'd made my decision. At the end of the day it's up to you what support you seek for your son and/or yourself. But I genuinely don't think you can be doing yourself any good right now by having spent the last two days arguing a point you've clearly already decided about.

The vast majority of posters have not said she'll be penalised or flagged, just that services are VERY hard to access, and if she's put at the end of a long waiting list later, that won't be the best for the child.
This ^^
It won't be flagged on her as a parent, but it's the sort of thing where it's not like they can pick up where they left off and if there's 2 equal cases and one slot then it makes sense that the people who've engaged get the slot.
I don't get why would a parent do anything to prevent their child access support the child needs?
The threshold for CAMHS is high. We've had to battle and make cases yo support parents who really want it. To be at a place suggesting CAMHS means there is a need.

Either way the OP has made their decision.

Maisy I was offered it without them even seeing him. They only offered it because I rang them and asked what help was available.

seline
So based on something they've put a referral in for support.

At all CAMHS right across our region (and many regions judging by MN threads) we've got children desperately needing support not getting it, teens being told they arent depressed or suicidal enough to meet the threshold for help, schools are employing in house mental health teams.

It's absolutely bizarre that there is a CAMHS service anywhere in the country that has enough time, funding and staff to just say 'ok we know nothing but here have a home visit'

If you are in an area like that giving referrals to anyone no questions, then I'd be hoping some funding was being reallcoated to the other services on their knees

Maisy they told me it's a new service and they're very keen to expand it. So what I heard was DS is the right age and they want to start this new type of support, they know I asked for support with DS and thought "her son might be good for this new service we want to start, we could probably focus on him more as it's new and develop new strategies together". Which isn't a bad thing but it's quite different to him desperately needing support.

All it is is he lashes out when he gets frustrated and throws things and bites when he can't make himself understood. That's the behaviour I asked for support for, and that's why they offered it. However he is improving as his speech improves so it seems like a self resolving thing.