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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Daughter kicked off bus aibu

812 replies

user1471461798 · 16/01/2019 19:59

Just wondered what everyone’s thoughts on this was? 17 year old daughter dropped off at the bus stop at 6.44 this morning, she had lost her lanyard with her bus pass on, so was going into college to get a temporary pass, we knew it was at home somewhere. Got on, sat down, the bus driver then asked to see everyone’s pass.. Doesn’t do this every day- specific bus only for her college.( 1st stop in the morning, last stop at night). obviously she didn’t have it, explained and he told her to get off the bus, she asked if she could just go to college and get a temporary pass. ( I know this is true as her friend told her mother the same ).

She then had to walk over a mile in the dark and rain, We had all left for work. also she has a broken arm, so had to carry bags as well. We have asked for an explanation from both the bus company and college, no reply from coach, but college have said the driver was correct!
I feel the coach company had a duty of care to make sure she was safe. What is everyone’s thoughts please?
Maybe a while getting back to everyone, going to the cinema now😊

OP posts:

Thread gallery

bruffin · 16/01/2019 20:28

Tell her to keep a picture of her pass on her phone in future.

Oddbins · 16/01/2019 20:29

The driver could have been disciplined for letting someone without a relevant pass on.

I wouldn't risk my job why should he?

SirVixofVixHall · 16/01/2019 20:29

I agree with Coastallife on page 2.

GassyAss · 16/01/2019 20:30

Good grief, a 17 yo is perfectly able to walk less than 2 miles. My 4 yo walked 2 miles to school and back everyday!
Our job as parents is to equip our children with the skills they need to become functioning adults - surely that means taking responsibility for our mistakes and being able to walk less than 2 miles without whining?

GingerRogers84 · 16/01/2019 20:30

OP has explained that it's a rural location and it was a college bus, not a normal bus. So why would she be carrying money? It may have been unsafe to walk country lanes with no paths, even if it was 'just' a mile.
I think the driver should have behaved better, especially as he's seen her and her pass before.

BertrandRussell · 16/01/2019 20:30

The driver was spectacularly unhelpful. What an arse!

But the “walking a mile in the dark” and safety stuff is ridiculous.

ItCanOnlyBeBarrysTea · 16/01/2019 20:31

Driver will likely be subject to spot checks.

She ought to chalk it up as a lesson learned.

GassyAss · 16/01/2019 20:32

It's really really not unsafe to walk on dark country lanes if you are a responsible 17 year old.

MillicentSnitch · 16/01/2019 20:34

This happened to kids on my bus when I was at school and tragically ended in a fatality. You should have waited with her until the bus came to make sure she was going to be allowed on.

Betty777 · 16/01/2019 20:34

I agree OP, that was not the right call on the driver's part. even if he was technically right (maybe) I don't think that was the best way to handle it

It's not that relevant that she's 17. It is still dark at 7am at the moment, many country roads don't have footpaths so it actually could be really dangerous (don't know though if that's your point, so maybe not) But if anyone has a broken arm they shouldn't really be forced to do that, school kid or not.

If it was a special bus that you can't pay on, she shouldn't have been kicked off. She wasn't exactly jumping the barrier on the tube, she couldn't pay!

Tartsamazeballs · 16/01/2019 20:34

She's 17 not 7?! Bloody hell 🙄 Duty of care? Fuck me... 🙄🙄 You waited til she got on the bus safely? More fool you!

Are we about to get a massive drip feed that it's a special school and she's got the understanding of an 8 year old?

fanomoninon · 16/01/2019 20:35

It would have been nice if the driver had been a bit more generous as he presumably knows her by sight (or maybe not?), but obviously his response is technically correct (if not kind). By 17, I wouldn't expect child-concessions and duty of care anymore - this is someone who got onto the bus KNOWING they didn't have the right pass; and didn't check whether that was acceptable or clear their plan with the driver. And got caught. Shame, annoying, but absolutely her issue. I wouldn't expect a train company to transport someone who definitely did buy a season ticket but lost it, not sure why this is different...

(My 12 and 14 yo both walked a mile in the rain to and from school today. Both coped and will probably do the same tomorrow ;-)

Howhot · 16/01/2019 20:35

The bus driver is a jobsworth but correct. A mile is not far at all, it's only 20 minutes or so? Even at that time of the morning I really don't see the problem considering her age It's winter, of course it was dark, but people still need to get about their day. You can't just hide inside until the sun comes out so I'm not sure what your point is there either.

Bringbackthestripes · 16/01/2019 20:36

YABU. Ridiculous that you have complained.

ltk · 16/01/2019 20:37

Yanbu because there needs to be a way to get to the college in order to get a new pass. The college should charge a premium for new passes (unless there's a police report of a theft) to keep down careless losses, but they do need to facilitate getting the students to lessons. That's the point of the bus. Not everyone has someone to drive them around, so the bus may be the only way to get there for some students. She should not miss a day of lessons for a lost bus pass.

Fretfulparent · 16/01/2019 20:37

Op YANBU - The OP's DD walked a mile home from the bus stop. She could not walk to college if it's a 1.5 hour drive away. I think if the bus driver recognised her he was being mean not to let her get to the college to sort out a temporary pass.
However I hope she spent the day tidying up and has found her pass now otherwise it could be the same saga tomorrow!

pickingdaisies · 16/01/2019 20:38

OP, are you saying your daughter had to walk back home a mile, because college is an hour and a half away?

donquixotedelamancha · 16/01/2019 20:39

She had to walk for over a mile in the dark
Am I missing something here? Why would that be an issue?

how did he know she got home?
He's the bus driver. Why would he care? The lass that serves me coffee each morning never checks I got to work OK either, but I cope.

I wonder what most of us would do if we drove the same bus every day to the same college to drop off the same 4 pupils (I.e. we know them) and one of them turned up one day having lost her pass and asking if we could allow her to ride the bus as she does every single day
I am extremely sceptical that only 4 kids ride that bus with the same driver each day.

it could potentially make you a more attractive prospect for a mugger or worse.
Muggers or worse (bears?) do not hang around empty country lanes, nor do they only prey on the injured. The bloke who drives the bus should not decide which bits of his job to do based on hypothetical unlikely scenarios.

Funkyfunkybeat12 · 16/01/2019 20:39

YANBU. As usual people are delighting in being unsympathetic. Yes, she's 17, but to make her walk home in the cold and dark is pretty cruel.
Also heard a horrible case a few years back where a bus driver kicked a girl off for being short of the fare and she was raped walking home. I know that buses aren't free, but I couldn't personally do that to someone, especially not a college student whom I knew had a pass.

Maelstrop · 16/01/2019 20:39

She should have found her lanyard, as she had it yesterday, she needs to be more organised. She’s 17, not 7 as a pp said. Walking a mile in the rain won’t kill her, plenty of kids have to.

BoneyBackJefferson · 16/01/2019 20:39

All it would have taken for him to loose his job was for him to let her stay on the bus and have someone complain about it.

Knittedfairies · 16/01/2019 20:40

I can see why you're annoyed but perhaps the driver has been reminded that he can't allow anyone on the bus without a pass.

XXcstatic · 16/01/2019 20:41

She should have spoken to the driver when she got on, and explained the situation. He was probably pissed off to discover that she had got on without a pass, and felt she was taking advantage. If she had explained at the outset and asked for his help, he would probably have been more sympathetic.

Useful life lesson for her (and you) - if you want people to help you out, don't be a CF.

m0therofdragons · 16/01/2019 20:41

Yabu. You have a duty of care as a parent to ensure she's safe. This is not delegated to the bus driver who has a duty to ensure he / she transports pupils with passes to school. Once at college they take on a certain level of that duty of care. At 17 she also has a level of responsibility.

sackrifice · 16/01/2019 20:41

2.7 miles we used to walk to school, from age 11. Just checked it. There and back. All year round.

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