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AIBU?

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Original poster

Daughter kicked off bus aibu

812 replies

user1471461798 · 16/01/2019 19:59

Just wondered what everyone’s thoughts on this was? 17 year old daughter dropped off at the bus stop at 6.44 this morning, she had lost her lanyard with her bus pass on, so was going into college to get a temporary pass, we knew it was at home somewhere. Got on, sat down, the bus driver then asked to see everyone’s pass.. Doesn’t do this every day- specific bus only for her college.( 1st stop in the morning, last stop at night). obviously she didn’t have it, explained and he told her to get off the bus, she asked if she could just go to college and get a temporary pass. ( I know this is true as her friend told her mother the same ).

She then had to walk over a mile in the dark and rain, We had all left for work. also she has a broken arm, so had to carry bags as well. We have asked for an explanation from both the bus company and college, no reply from coach, but college have said the driver was correct!
I feel the coach company had a duty of care to make sure she was safe. What is everyone’s thoughts please?
Maybe a while getting back to everyone, going to the cinema now😊

OP posts:
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9
LimpidPools · 16/01/2019 20:21

It sounds needlessly unhelpful to me OP.

Ok, the bus driver maybe wasn't technically wrong, but he was definitely being a jobsworth. He knows your daughter, he knows where she's going, she's got an explanation, it's dark, it's cold, the bus is her only means of transport and she's got a broken arm.

I mean sure, I'm sure it's in the T&Cs that she has to have her lanyard with her, but he could have used his discretion. It just wasn't necessary to chuck her off the bus.

flumpybear · 16/01/2019 20:22

So he knew she had a pass because he sees it every day - he's being a shit head!! Really unhelpful and petty minded

EnglishPuffins · 16/01/2019 20:22

Taking her to the bus stop and not leaving til she's on the bus is also unreasonable IMHO. She's 17, let her have some independence.

joanmcc · 16/01/2019 20:22

If your response is to kick off at everyone else rather than use this as learning moment for her, then you are setting her up to fail in life. She's old enough to drive, so barring any special needs, the notion of a duty of care is almost as ridiculous as all this fuss over a mile.

BirdySomething · 16/01/2019 20:22

Wow, there are some harsh comments on here. Doesn’t anyone believe in helping others out if possible...particularly a young girl with a broken arm? It costs nothing to be kind.

1busybee · 16/01/2019 20:22

She s 17. You knew she didn’t have the pass so should have either taken her, found alternative transport or risked it and faced the consequences!!

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 16/01/2019 20:23

No pass, no bus YABU, you knew she didn’t have it, so why believe she can travel Confused

Also a mile is a 15 minute walk, not walking a marathon, she’s broken her arm not her legs!

viques · 16/01/2019 20:23

If it was only another mile or so to the college then it wouldn't have taken much time to drive her to the college. Even if she had been dropped off a bit early she could have waited for the admin staff to arrive and then got the replacement sorted.

The bus driver was doing his job, if an inspector had got on he is the one who would have been in trouble for letting passengers without ID ride to the college.

TulipsInbloom1 · 16/01/2019 20:23

So did she use her day off to find her pass?

EnglishPuffins · 16/01/2019 20:23

I walked the three miles to and from school from age 9! It's time to cut the apron strings!

Tohaveandtohold · 16/01/2019 20:23

Yabu. She’s 17. She knew ahead that she didn’t have a pass, the right thing to do would have been to notify the driver before she entered. He would have told her if she can ride on the bus and all these would have been averted. Otherwise, she should have found an alternative way of getting home.
It’s simple logic, she would not board an ordinary bus without the correct fare so why would she board the college bus without her pass.

Purplecatshopaholic · 16/01/2019 20:23

She lost her pass. She is 17. NOT 9! Suggest she grows up, gets responsible and does not expect the bus driver to let her on when he does not actually know if she has paid. #snowflakegeneration

Nicknacky · 16/01/2019 20:24

My response to my daughter would have been “well, next time make sure you have your pass”.

That’s how wound up I would have got.

concernedforthefuture · 16/01/2019 20:24

If your DD was 11, or even 15 I'd have had more sympathy. But at 17 - just months away from being an adult - no, the bus driver was not being unreasonable to do his / her job. If the pass was 'somewhere at home' then your DD should have made time the night before or earlier that morning to find it. 1 mile isn't that far to walk and I don't really see the relevance of the broken arm.

Notajourno · 16/01/2019 20:24

YABU. I used to think my parents were massively over protective. But I would regularly walk home from town at 10pm at the age of 16. This was over a mile.

At 17 I was going all over the place giving my mum text updates on my location.

If I’d been kicked off the bus just over a mile away because I lost my pass at the age of 17 no way would my mum have picked me up.

The bus driver has to make sure that no one who isn’t part of the school is on the bus. This is to protect he younger children.

Time to cut the apron strings I think. In less than 2 years she could be at uni hundreds of miles away.

Katinkka · 16/01/2019 20:24

17?! Ffs. The things I was sorting out for myself at 14 never mind 17. I’d moved out by then.

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/01/2019 20:25

It seems a bit jobs worthy, especially if the driver knows her. At the same time, a mile isn't very far, bit miserable in the rain but I can't really see how she was put at risk so talking about duty of care seems of the mark. I wouldn't have thought most broken arms would make much difference (other than, again, making it a bit more miserable).

I would kick up a fuss in the sense of suggesting drivers be more empowered to use common sense and have a heart as college should be a supportive community.

theveryhighlife · 16/01/2019 20:25

Presumably he knows/recognises she usually gets that bus. He was just being stubborn, he didn't need to make her morning that bit harder. I wish people would just be kinder to each other.

parrotonthesofa · 16/01/2019 20:26

Seems mean of the bus driver not to let her travel in that it is a bus specifically for college and he knows her.
I think yanbu

bobstersmum · 16/01/2019 20:27

I'm shocked at the amount of people saying yabu, I honestly think that even if she was 25 years old the driver could have let it go since he knows her, I'm late 30s and I would not fancy walking alone in the dark with a broken arm for a mile.

CowJumping · 16/01/2019 20:27

Is it really in this day and age so terribly disastrous and unreasonable for a 17 year old to walk a mile in an area with which she is familiar?

I'm having one of those "What is the world coming to?" moments.

YABU

If your DD is so disorganised that she has misplaced her pass in her own home, then she needs to learn about the consequences ...

fashiondevotee · 16/01/2019 20:27

It might be the 'rules' for her to be thrown off without a pass... But, in this situation, I think the driver could've used some basic human decency (especially with a broken arm!). Morally, they were in the wrong, so YANBU.

StitchingMoss · 16/01/2019 20:28

My 11 year old will be walking a mile home in the dark from secondary school come October.

Pretty sure he'll manage.

You need to leave this be.

IgnoranceIsStrength · 16/01/2019 20:28

I don't think the driver was a jobsworth. College near me has exactly the same rule, no pass no ride. It prevents ex students or those looking for trouble getting into the college. It is likely the driver themself could have got into trouble if they had taken her in.

StowawayJo · 16/01/2019 20:28

OP you know what YANBU the bus driver knows her,it's a small bus and small rural village. he was being an utter knob of a jobsworth. Especially with her broker arm poor girl. What a twat. YANBU at all and should make a complaint on the basis he knows her - he only has 4 passengers to recognise everyday, she clearly was injured it was dark and wet and she is still only 17. I would be going mad.