To be shocked that people still think it’s ok to hit their kids?

[MrsMuffins]

Coming out of the supermarket this afternoon, a man was walking towards me with two kids, probably aged 8-10. As I passed him (quite a way away as I was heading towards my car) he said something to the boy along the lines of ‘I’ve f**king told you not to do that’ and sort of lunged at him. The boy literally cowered back, obviously expecting a whack. It really upset me - part of me thinking I wish I’d said something, and the other part shocked that people really think it’s ok to physically intimidate and hit their kids. Is it just me thinking that this kind of thing isn’t acceptable any more?!

The justifications on this thread have just got me You’re hitting your kids and you think it’s ok, that’s the bottom line. No rationalisation, no ‘it did me/my grown up kids no harm’ story, is going to make it ok.

@missperegrinepeculiar

Yes, a lot of parents have their own identities tied up in their children, or see them as possessions. These authoritarian types enjoy exercising power over people smaller and weaker, whether it’s physically or by other means of control. Normally it’s because they don’t get to exercise that power with anyone else else and they need an outlet for it.

The good thing is they will get their just desserts when the kids grow up and want nothing to do with them.

Has anyone noticed non smackers are actually very angry, aggressive people.....

Hardly. Personally, I think that people who feel the need to lash out at anyone or anything are more aggressive than people with some self restraint and understanding of how that effects people.

It's not socially acceptable to hit your partner, so why is it ok to hit children to discipline then?

I don't hit my dog. I don't hit my husband. I don't hit any of my family, or friends. I won't hit children.

I heard somebody saying that they smacked their toddler niece recently, and then got annoyed with her when she 'had a tantrum and cried', saying that she is a brat. How is that acceptable in any way? Of course she cried!! I would!

@ElevenSmiles I think it's really clear that the aggressive tone on this thread comes from those in favour of smacking. Need I say more?

“stickypenguins

@ElevenSmiles I think it's really clear that the aggressive tone on this thread comes from those in favour of smacking. Need I say more?”

Quite. No surprise though that those in favour of smacking have poorer reading and comprehension skills thus failing to interpret the words on their screen correctly.

I don't think it's ok to use physical violence on kids no, whether it's a hand smack or a beating. It's still violence.
Imagine being in your office and when you nip to the loo, Sally keeps nicking your pen.
Sally, leave my pen alone please.
Sally takes pen again.
Sally, stop taking my pen.
Sally takes it again.
Sue punches Sally while screaming leave my fucking pen alone you thieving cow.

Sue goes down to the unemployment office clutching her P45 while Sally goes to hospital clutching her nose.

Or, Sue could have avoided all that by putting her pen in her drawer.

Prevention rather than cure.

I never felt the need to smack my kids, they don't feel the need to smack their kids. There are plenty of alternative punishments that doesn't involve loss of control.

I was hit a lot as a child - my parents would just lose it so it almost always was in temper. I was terrified of them so yes it worked for them as it turned me into a cowering conformist with self confidence issues.

I do not hit my dc and have nothing but contempt for parents for doing it to me.

As so many have said, if an adult hits another adult that is assault so how so many people can think it's OK to hit a defenceless child us beyond me. We have a rule in our family that we don't hit or hurt anyone. If you hit your child how do you expect them not to go round hitting other people (or you, when they are bigger)? You are teaching them that this is appropriate if you disagree with what someone else is doing.

I was smacked as a kid. No beating just smacks and wow guess what I'm healthy and mentally fine. The closeness of our family is second to none. I'm wondering why there is such a high level of violence actual word used In my son's primary school by other kids! Anti social behaviour in certain areas where I live. High numbers of teenagers spitting and abusing for no reason. My nan is 90 and says she was smacked and how she is glad she is on her way out as the future is looking not rosy lol. Her words. I'm not saying smack or beat a child but something is happening to our younger generation and mental health and abuse is on the rise

Streetwise....spot the passive aggressive poster....just curious do you belittle your kids......

For all those people saying they were smacked as kids and it did them no harm - did it do you any good though? I think a bit of smacking in an otherwise loving parent-child relationship won't mess the child up, but it adds nothing either.

My parents smacked me on occasion. I don't think it was to teach me a lesson but purely that they lost control in anger. I don't really blame them as I was horrendously naughty as a child and would have tried the patience of a saint. it's not left any lasting damage and I love my parents dearly.

I've never been hit but I think it's VERY important to draw a distinction between a smack and abuse. They are different. Sometimes the generating of an abusive narrative around something actually does more damage. Parents are not perfect. I know my mum hit my brother once around the face when he was two and misbehaving. I still remember her crying afterwards out of guilt. Was it a good thing to do? No. But it also was not abuse. We have to be careful not to conflate the two.

Can I just ask, some of you say that your parents hit you. Do you mean that your father hit you too?
I find it shocking if so. My father refused to raise his hand to any female, regardless of age, so therefore me being a female meant that he never raised his hand to me, his voice yes, but not his hand.
I used to get really upset if my father raised his voice to me as he was normally very placid and easy going. That had more of an effect on my behaviour than any slap.

These kind of thread always ends up the same

People that believe smacking is a no no and will never do it. They provide links to research, psychological and developmental studies, etc.

People that have mentally tattooed on they grey matter a range of "old chestnuts" such us

• it didn't do me any harm
• if you don't they will walk over you
• it worked for us (a variant of "it didn't do me any harm")

And so the next generation of smackers in programmed

*is not in

I think the next generation will get smaller and smaller as time goes on. I didn't get smacked because I was an angel, but my brother was smacked a lot. I hated it. My brother doesn't have kids, but I have three. My eldest is 15, and I've never smacked any of them.

Most of my friends were smacked as kids, but hardly any of them smacked their own children. I hope this downward trend continues.

I don’t recall my father ever taking his hand to me.

@mynameisnotmichaelcaine I agree, or at least I want to believe that

Has anyone noticed non smackers are actually very angry, aggressive people.....

Wait

😅

😅😅😅😅😅🤭

This has to be the less factual statement on mumsnet.

Least not less. Least of them all. Of all the random things to say. Ever.

I enjoy a good debate i'm happy to have my views challenged and i'll listen to other viewpoints......the intention on this thread has been to vilify anyone not anti smacking.......Imagine the OP being asked to run a anti smacking campaign with her views......

I must be seeing things plane......or maybe you choose not to.

Well come over here and smack us if you disagree