To be shocked that people still think it’s ok to hit their kids?

[MrsMuffins]

Coming out of the supermarket this afternoon, a man was walking towards me with two kids, probably aged 8-10. As I passed him (quite a way away as I was heading towards my car) he said something to the boy along the lines of ‘I’ve f**king told you not to do that’ and sort of lunged at him. The boy literally cowered back, obviously expecting a whack. It really upset me - part of me thinking I wish I’d said something, and the other part shocked that people really think it’s ok to physically intimidate and hit their kids. Is it just me thinking that this kind of thing isn’t acceptable any more?!

Yep everyone I know, Even a family member and shes a teacher. Its only online I see so much outrage about it.

Being smacked teaches shame and self-hatred imo. I loathe and detest parents who do it, can't believe it isn't illegal.

Pretty much like the parent who told his 8/9 year old that he needed to sort himself out at school or he was going to give up on him...said loudly in the middle of the playground.

I agree it's lazy parenting. You wouldn't go around smacking another adult without repercussions. Should not be acceptable to smack a child in any circumstance.

Why should the adult put up with repeatedly being kicked at by their dc though?

The behaviour of some dc is much worse now.

@PinkGin24 do you not think it might be an idea to learn some other parenting techniques to help you deal with their behaviour, so that you don’t have to resort to physical violence?! And how do you plan to manage their behaviour when they start hitting you back, because they’ve learned from you that that’s how you deal with anger?

I don't have children yet bur if or when I do I will certainly smack them if they are naughty
Such a depressing post
Would you hit one of your friends or family if they were doing something 'naughty'?

@woodhill I imagine that if a parent is being repeatedly kicked by their child then their parenting hasn’t been stellar up to now. You reap what you sow unfortunately, kids aren’t born bad - but there are plenty of other ways to deal with bad behaviour than hitting.

PinkGin I am not emotionally scarred

Yes, you are. You have grown up to have such a warped view of life and child rearing in particular that you think that hitting children for misbehaving is in some way appropriate. It’s not.

It's seriously lazy parenting. Can't be arsed to actually discipline and teach their children appropriate behaviour so they just lash out like a feral animal instead.

Why should the adult put up with repeatedly being kicked at by their dc though?

Not saying he should, but a grown man telling a (roughly 3 year old child) he would stamp on them? you dont think thats shocking?

Moreover, it's increasingly jarring and inappropriate in a society which is learning the value of teaching children that they have sovereignty over their own bodies, that nobody has a right to touch their intimate areas and that they have a right to resist adults to want to hurt them. How bizarre to make an exception to that bodily autonomy, specifically for occasions when their own parents want to cause them pain on purpose.

It's lazy, dangerous and toxic behaviour.

Why should the adult put up with repeatedly being kicked at by their dc though?

Surely smacking would be counter intuitive in this exact instance?

"Don't be violent" taught by being violent back?

I think what your describing is a world away from normal discipline, even providing physical discipline, I have uses it , my parents did to me, it never involved lunging & swearing

@Greensleeves that’s such a good point, I’d never considered it from that angle.

I was “smacked” throughout my 70’s / 80’s childhood. I would never ever do that to my child. It absolutely disgusts me that some of you think it is acceptable.

I think a smack on the back of hand is probably helpful where you are trying to teach them that something might hurt them...e.g. stepping out into the road or reaching for something on the stove. If they get a smack as a toddler for ignoring instructions they realise that if they step in the road without mummy they get hurt. I'd rather smack once and not have them run over.

However I've never actually smacked my ds. Im shouty instead and thats probably bad enough I thought I would be a smacker as my parents smacked me...with a wooden spoon no less! But never felt the need.

it never involved lunging & swearing

Well that's ok then. You can hit a child as long as you dont swear or lunge at them as well. Keep to 'normal' smacking

FFS

As an adult, I am NC with adults who believed that smacking children and inflicting pain was absolutely fine.

We should protect our children, how on earth is inflicting pain doing that?

If they get a smack as a toddler for ignoring instructions they realise that if they step in the road without mummy they get hurt. I'd rather smack once and not have them run over.

That old chestnut

Alternatively watch your toddler and keep hold of them when you are near a road.

Do you know what I also hate? Calling it ‘smacking’ - it’s minimising and quite honestly bullshit, you’re hitting them, no more and no less.

Getoffthetablemabel, I can assure you I am not emotionally scarred. As for smacking children not being acceptable, that is your opinion... it isn't illegal and kids need a smack every now and again. No wonder most nowadays are brats running wild or dictating what happens....

This thread is making me feel sick.

I know no one who smacks their kids. It's disgusting, abusing and lazy.

Well that's ok then. You can hit a child as long as you dont swear or lunge at them as well. Keep to 'normal' smacking

FFS hmm
I dont think youre grasping what I mean,

I also don't believe people when they say "My parents hit me and it never did any harm".

My mum hit me frequently with a wooden spoon as a child, in the 90s and I honestly don't forgive her. I'll never forget barricading myself in my room, pushing my weight behind the door to stop her barging through to hit me with it. What could that have honestly taught me? Other than the fact my mum had completely lost it.