To be shocked that people still think it’s ok to hit their kids?

[MrsMuffins]

Coming out of the supermarket this afternoon, a man was walking towards me with two kids, probably aged 8-10. As I passed him (quite a way away as I was heading towards my car) he said something to the boy along the lines of ‘I’ve f**king told you not to do that’ and sort of lunged at him. The boy literally cowered back, obviously expecting a whack. It really upset me - part of me thinking I wish I’d said something, and the other part shocked that people really think it’s ok to physically intimidate and hit their kids. Is it just me thinking that this kind of thing isn’t acceptable any more?!

YANBU.

It’s appalling.

Of course it's not acceptable. But seeing as just about anyone can have kids, it stands to reason that some shit parents will exist. The poor kid.

Depends. I don’t like what you’ve described at all. But neither do I think the occasional smack is deeply damaging. Not that I’ve ever done it.

@TulipsInbloom1 it’s really played on my mind, I wish I’d said something!

Mrs would you expect a wife to accept the "odd smack" from her husband? Or an employee from it's boss? Or a stranger from another stranger?

I used to hit mine but now it's unacceptable and I get that I really do. But I don't like being judged for smacking my kids when it was the usual way when I was raising them.

"We did what we did knowing what we knew. And when we knew better, we did better"

MrsMuffins it's probably best you didn't. That sort of parent is then likely to blame/take it out on the kids.

YANBU op

I can’t believe it isn’t illegal to smack children in this country in the year 2019

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 no I get that - I used to get smacked as a child in the 80’s, I know it was seen as normal then. But to do it (or get close to doing it) now, and in public?!

I hate it. Children can be bloody annoying but that doesn’t make it ok to lash out at them in anger. Learn to control yourself.

YANBU about that specific situation (if as described) but your broader thread title is unreasonable.

Nothing wrong with a smack.

The data shows that corporal punishment damages children in the same way as abuse, just to a lesser extent.

I understand that people grew up with it and don't see the harm but there are loads of things that I grew up with as normal that are illegal now.

Well I wouldn’t let another adult hit me, so why would I hit my child? Someone who is smaller and weaker than me?

Also I don’t understand the whole oh little John is being naughty so I’ll smack him, so it’s ok for adults to hit children but not for children to act like children and play up now and then?

It’s not acceptable parenting

Whilst I agree that it's wrong to hit kids, on the other hand, it seems the level of the behaviour of children and young people has gone down and parents are often at their wits' end. So often this can be seen on MN where parents just can't cope! What's the answer? I don't know!

I've never understood it. One of my children is/was very challenging. The other more easy-going. At no point have I felt compelled to use violence or physical intimidation. It's a nonsense to think we can teach children not to solve their problems with violence while using it to control them.

"Smacking" is a euphemism that dresses up "hitting someone smaller than you" as something respectable. It isn't. It's bullying, its despicable, and it sets a poor example.

Plenty of people knew it was wrong in the 60s, 70s and 80s by the way. No excuses.

Normal ime. Everyone I know hits their kids. I saw a child on the bus a few days ago repeatedly kicking her dad, he kept telling her off but she continued, He screamed at her “ Kick me again and I will stamp on you and see if you like it!” I was pretty shocked.

@PinkGin24 really?! Nothing wrong at all?! You’re physically hurting someone smaller than you, and you think that’s acceptable? Would you think it’s acceptable if your partner hit you? And how do you teach your kids that hitting each other is not ok, when they see you hitting them?

@whatsthepointthen that makes me feel physically ill.

@MrsMuffins, I grew up in the 90's. Kids got a smack when they were naughty. I am not emotionally scarred, I have a fantastic relationship with my parents, and I have never hit a child or a Partner.

Smacking = lazy parenting. I was smacked/hit as a kid and I will always remember the pain and fear. There is no acceptable excuse for it. The fact that a grown adult thinks it is ok to hit a small, vulnerable and weaker human being is just horrible.

Everyone I know hits their kids

Then you can't know many nice people.

Was beaten daily by stepfather ☹️

Sorry, to clarify I meant I never hit children when I was a child. I don't have children yet bur if or when I do I will certainly smack them if they are naughty.

It should be illegal to smack or hit a child. It's abuse when done to another adult and an arrestable offence yet it seems children don't count. They can't leave or protect themselves.

The swearing is awful too.