I've posted this in relationships also..more of a WWYD as I need a bit of a handheld and some advice on how to go about telling husband, see below. TIA.
In the Autumn we had a huge bustup, and a lot of things were said. He went to stay with family for 10 days whilst I stayed at home and continued running the joint business.
I got increasingly frustrated as it just appeared he didn't care, this after feeling taken for granted for months anyway for lots of reasons. He's let himself go appearance wise, hygiene wise, and basically sunk into deprression (which he now realises and is under GP care for).
He eventually realised the marriage was in real danger and came back and we tries to talk. I realised that we had been more like siblings than spouses and that I had completely fallen out of love with him. I told him this and called it off at Christmas. We are continuing to live together albeit in separate rooms, and run the business together while we try to figure out how to move forward.
2 kids of 14 and 18.
In the m3antime, and completely unexpectedly, I've met someone else, a customer in fact. We've always spoken and had a laugh and joke and he actually kept me sane those first couple of weeks as I struggled to deal with everything.
Only after I'd told H that it was over did he confess he had feelings for me and it's been a whirlwind ever since. We talk for several hours each day. I've never in my life even considered an affair but I have slept with him, a week ago, after a lot of soul searching and sleepless nights. For context I've slept with my husband 4 times in a year, partly as I just don't find him attractive and partly as he has ED issues that he refuses to deal with. I have neve4 ever had such strong feelings as I do for this guy, and he said he is also shocked by how strongly he feels. I feel alive for the first time in years.
I'm working away at the moment and due home tomorrow and I know I need to tell H that I'm seeing someone else but the thought is making me feel sick as it's going to hurt him so badly. I expect he will walk out completely, which I understand, leaving me to run the business alone.
Please help me with how to break this to him as gently as possible. He's only just got his head around the fact the marriage is over, is getting help finally, about 2 years too late imo, and freely admits that he's fucked up but still loves me.
This has hit me totally out of the blue and couldn't have been timed worse really. Yes I am certain the marriage is over, it took 3 months of soul searching to be sure, though I will always love him to pieces as we've spent 20yrs together.