To not want DH to drop a day at work?

[Largepiecesofcrookedwood]

For background DH and I have an age gap, a shade over twenty years in fact
This has never hugely concerned me and we have been together and (mostly) happy for twelve years.
DH is now 67 and has today announced that he thinks he may as well drop a day a week. Currently he finishes early on that day anyway as we have a volunteering commitment, so in fact would be dropping between 5 and 6 hours.
In principle I don't have an issue with it, in practice DH has no pension (a problem for a whole other thread ) except his state provision and dropping a day would already swallow up around half of that income.
Financially we could afford it, but it then allows us much less leeway to save for the time that he cannot actually work, or will be impacting on our currently rather pleasant quality of life.
I think what is pissing me off is that I fully expect to have to work until at least my mid 70's if I'm still able and I have some small private pension provision as well. I get that times are different now and this is one of the hurdles with an age gap relationship, but I'm genuinely wondering whether I am BU and I should just cut him some slack, or he should just knuckle down for as long as possible?

You have my first YANBU but also YABU

How does he not have an employer pension!!!???

YANBU if it impacts your lives so greatly but YABU because he is nearly 70!

Sorry OP I can totally see your point but I don’t know how I’ll feel when I’m 67!

Is he in good health with no other troubles?

What is he planning on doing with that day ?

This is tough. He is not being unreasonable to want to slow down, he 67!
However I see how frustrating it is for you too. I think you should maybe have thought a bit more about how you would feel about this before now.
It's likely that he will be retired well before you, that you may have years of caring responsibilities and financial responsibility and then (sorry) he will most likely die before you.
You can't blame him for this I'm afraid but I do have sympathy for how you feel.

Dropping 5 or 6 hours a week at 67 isn't unreasonable. When you say you have a pleasant quality of life are you referring to various activities you do or just finance. Would cutting down those hours help him keep up the pleasant quality of life inother areas. If he doesn't drop them will he find he needs to spend more time in the home of a weekend for example rather than being out and aboutm

He is 67.

Surely you knew this would happen and knew he had no provision she you married him.

This sounds awful, but is he insured? Because if is, not sure why you would have to work full time til mid 70s if you have a private provision and the insurance money.

He could have been like my dad and had a private pension but the government took it all

I don’t think wanting to drop a day at 67 is ur. Many people have fully retired by that point even now. Whether you can afford it is a different matter but he’s not being unreasonable to consider it/want to do it.

Sorry but YABU. People do naturally get tireder as they get older and gradually dropping hours is very reasonable IMO.

Sorry OP, that thread reads all about why you don't want him to cut a day, not about him at all. He's getting old, maybe he's tired?

As someone who is closer to your DH's age than you are, and who has also reduced workload in the last couple of years, here's my view. You just get to a point where you're tired, mortality is sometimes on your mind. Many people of a certain age would choose quality of life over having more money.

I don't quite understand the point about him dropping a day swallowing about half income... I read it twice but apologies for that. If he only works half a day now then surely he isn't being paid for not being at work is he? So his income will only go down a fairly small amout.
Anyway, you seem to equate quality of life with having money and honestly - it isn't. You get to a stage where it's about having enough to live on and a less pressurised life with more time to enjoy yourself.

My dad is just 64 and dropped to 4 days about 3 years ago! He does do long days though because he is a HGV driver.

In his last year of work (which will be next year) he is planning to drop to 3 days.

So, your husband is not being unreasonable to want to start winding down.

The concern here is lack of pension - my dad has a pension from a previous career and an employer pension for his current job. Do you have savings?

**He is 67.

Surely you knew this would happen and knew he had no provision she you married him.**

^This. You must have thought this through with the nearly 20 year old age gap

My dad is a healthy, triathalon competing, 62 year old and he has been retired two years. It has meant some cut backs for him and his younger wife but she has been entirely supportive of it - badgered him for ages to do so. I am really glad he's spending his time and health doing what he wants to do. How long do we really want to flog people for? Having to work until you're 70 plus (if you don't want to) is nothing short of cruel, IMO.

My Dad worked till his retirement age, the last years aged him no end.

His partner is also effectively his nurse.

Maybe its worth thinking that that one day a week could give you both a better life in your later years.

I'm only 63, so have 3 more years before I get my state pension. However, I'm knackered, have arthritis and some other health problems and have reduced my hours from 37 pw to 17 pw over the last few years.

I still pay my share into the joint a/c, but we've cut our outgoings by doing things like using savings to pay off the mortgage, just having one car, not going on foreign holidays etc. It's my personal spending that has taken the hit, I hardly ever buy clothes etc and my trips to the Clarins counter are now very rare.

Bear in mind that if he reduced his hours, the loss in income could well be less than you think. If he's a standard rate tax payer, he would only be worse off by 68% of his gross pay for the number of hours he's dropped. If he drives to work, there would be a saving in terms of petrol/parking for that day, and any other work-related costs.

If I still had to work full-time, I honestly don't know how I'd manage. I feel really sorry for your DH, still having to work at 67.

YABVU, he is 67 and its only 5 hours a week.

I assume you are in full time employment? Why can’t you go for a job that pays more to make up the shortfall? Why do you expect your husband to work himself to the bone when he is clearly indicating he’s had enough?

Why does he want to drop the hours? Is his job very demanding? Illness?

He is NBU to want to retire.

But Yanbu for thinking about how this will impact on you. Many of us will work into our 70s. Do you have dependent children? A mortgage? Have you discussed?

Yabu your dh is a pensioner!

So he’s worked FT until now, and would still be something like 0.8 of full time equivalent? YABU.

The financial / age gap issues were foreseeable when you got married.

Its a difficult one because of the pension - but yes if he is starting to feel it he probably should drop a day

How many days does he work

YABVU. At 67 he is entitled to only want to work 4 days a week.

Surely you must have realised this would come up at sone point or did you expect him to work ft forever?

My DH is one of those people who will probably never fully retire (unless health issues meant he had to) however that is very much his choice and I wouod never pressure him, especially at 67 to carry on full time.

YABU. I assume you work full time too?