Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most mothers would not want to live with their mothers?

195 replies

partinor · 14/01/2019 15:29

I really want to know if I am out of step with opinion here?
A feminist friend is very against nuclear families, and I understand her point. But when I ask her what the alternatives could be, she argues that most mothers want to and would be better off living with their own mother.
I get on fine with my mother, but the thought of living with her with kids sends me into a cold sweat.
So AIBU to think most mothers would not want to live with their own mother?

OP posts:
Bezalelle · 14/01/2019 15:30

Christ, no.

I'd happily live with MIL though. Not a common sentiment, I'm sure, but she's amazing.

Pachyderm1 · 14/01/2019 15:33

I couldn’t love my mum more and she’s fab, but we would both hate to live together now!

There’s truth though in the saying ‘it takes a village’. I think the ideal is being close enough to non-resident family that they can help. I always think it must be very hard for those who are far from their extended families.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/01/2019 15:34

Fuck. No. Not in a million years.

juneau · 14/01/2019 15:35

I'd kill either myself or my DM if we had to live together again. We get on okay in small doses, but dear god in heaven I would walk over hot coals in order to never live with her again!

CatWhisker · 14/01/2019 15:35
Shock
Oysterbabe · 14/01/2019 15:36

Nope. I wouldn't want to live with anyone other than my DH and kids.

Toddlerteaplease · 14/01/2019 15:36

Me and my mum get on very well but I'd never want to live with her. Same goes for my lovely dsis. We'd kill each other!

CatWhisker · 14/01/2019 15:37

My Shock was at the idea of ever having to live with my mum again, not at other responses. It was bad enough growing up with her!

ElvisParsley · 14/01/2019 15:37

Hell no!
It would be hideous.

Same goes for MIL, luckily DH agrees on both counts.

loubluee · 14/01/2019 15:37

No thank you!! But I would happily live with dp’s Mum or my exmil

DramaAlpaca · 14/01/2019 15:37

God no, we'd kill each other.

Namenic · 14/01/2019 15:38

Wouldn’t mind. Wouldn’t mind parents in law either. I think we r quite a bit more untidy than them so - they would probs find it harder to live with us.

Inktank · 14/01/2019 15:39

I wouldn't.

HopeGarden · 14/01/2019 15:40

It would be nice if my mum and MIL both lived closer to us - next door, across the road or round the corner - but I wouldn’t really want to live in the same house as either of them.

I love them, but it’s nice to have our own private space away from them.

Ultramic · 14/01/2019 15:40

No. Never. Awful idea.

Jaxhog · 14/01/2019 15:40

I love my Mum to bits, but no. She'd hate it too. We've compromised, and she now lives just up the road from my Sis. (She can't afford to live near me unfortunately) We all visit as often as we can.

PinkHeart5914 · 14/01/2019 15:42

Why some mums are complete cows, why would you the unfortunate dc of someone like that want to live with them?

Also don’t you think there is something weird about an adult that is a parent themselves living with mummy?

Don’t get me wrong I love my mum and we get on well but I moved out at 18 and can’t imagine ever living at home again

PerfectPeony · 14/01/2019 15:42

How can you be against nuclear families? Confused Sorry but that’s such an odd opinion! Confused

And no, I left at 18 and never looked back! Can’t think of anything worse than living with my mother.

Nubbled · 14/01/2019 15:42

Has your friend ever lived with her mother, as an adult?

fanomoninon · 14/01/2019 15:43

God lord, no. Although I suspect only one of us would be alive after a month or so, so that might solve the issue. I did use to fantasise about an all female collective when the dc were smaller though - a sort of commune with similar aged children, big garden, potential to share out the jobs etc...

leaveby10 · 14/01/2019 15:45

I don't know any woman who would want to live with their mothers - mine is absolute nightmare and needs to be taken in very small doses.
What's wrong with the Nuclear Family?

FlipF · 14/01/2019 15:45

My Mum is the loveliest, kindest, funniest and most supportive person ever but I wouldn’t want to live with her. 😅

I also don’t think I’d want to live with my daughters (adults) . We get along brilliantly. I can’t see how it would be possible to be any closer but I wouldn’t want to actually live with them long term. I think I could live with one of my sons but not the other.

Original poster
partinor · 14/01/2019 15:45

Nubbled No she hasn't Grin

OP posts:
willyloman · 14/01/2019 15:45

Love my mum. We'd go bonkers. Distance makes us great friends. Who is the crazy person suggesting this and on what basis is this better? Economics? Should all men by the same logic live with their fathers? Sounds like a great deal of weird stereotyping going on here.

leaveby10 · 14/01/2019 15:46

How can you be against the Nuclear Family - you don't have to have it but what's there to object to?