Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most mothers would not want to live with their mothers?

195 replies

partinor · 14/01/2019 15:29

I really want to know if I am out of step with opinion here?
A feminist friend is very against nuclear families, and I understand her point. But when I ask her what the alternatives could be, she argues that most mothers want to and would be better off living with their own mother.
I get on fine with my mother, but the thought of living with her with kids sends me into a cold sweat.
So AIBU to think most mothers would not want to live with their own mother?

OP posts:
Em3978 · 14/01/2019 17:44

Love my mum loads.
Moved out at 21, back for a moment or two at 22 (between rentals) and been in a different town/city/county since then.
She's just moved to within 3 miles of me and that's just close enough thank you!

WeeMadArthur · 14/01/2019 17:46

Hell no! DM talks all the time, non stop, and at the top of her voice like you are across a crowded room. She talks over the news, documentaries, films, you name it. DH has started pausing the telly every time and she does stop, but only for about ten minutes, then she starts again. It’s very draining, she isn’t having a conversation with any of us, she is monologuing. I would love to have a normal conversation with her but what I get is a wall of sound as she tells me about her friend of a friends dead husband or her neighbours new wallpaper and curtains (I have met none of these people).

Spudlet · 14/01/2019 17:46

That would be my mother who is a genuinely loving grandmother but who nevertheless continues to advocate biting my DS in order to stop him from biting....?

Hell. No.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 14/01/2019 17:48

Your friend’s view, once explained, seems weirder. ‘Some men are shit so become a single parent and force your mother to be your coparent’. What’s in it for the mother?

I would never live with my mum. Mil would be ok as they have huge house and are v independent and non-interfering.

ButtMuncher · 14/01/2019 17:49

I would love to live with my Mum. She's my best friend Grin so long as we had our own space.

HildaZelda · 14/01/2019 17:51

I'm NC with mine anyway so obviously not. As regards living with MIL, I'd rather stick my head in the oven.
Well actually if I'm honest I'd rather stick HER head in the oven, but anyway.

DH's workmate has his MIL living with them. She was in hospital recently and he really hoped she was going to die this time. He's one of the nicest, kindest men I've ever met with absolutely no malice in him, so for him to say that it has to be bad.
He has my sympathy because unfortunately my own MIL only lives 5 minutes away Sad

flameycakes · 14/01/2019 18:50

I'd rather chew my toes off x

Mylittlepony374 · 14/01/2019 18:57

I would love to live with my mother. Most easygoing, supportive, non-judgmental, h

Mylittlepony374 · 14/01/2019 18:57

...helpful person I know.

Thurmanmurman · 14/01/2019 18:58

No way. I love my mum and we get on great but she can be extremely judgemental of others (not me, I can do no wrong in her eyes) and has some very old fashioned views on certain subjects.

SugarNyx · 14/01/2019 19:13

I’d rather die

GummyGoddess · 14/01/2019 19:21

Too many questions! Where do the men go? Where is their father, husband and grandmother? Does grandmother live with them or do women only live with their mothers until their own children have children and then kick their own mother out? What are the circumstances of the children being conceived? When do the adult male children get kicked out? Are the fathers involved at all?

GummyGoddess · 14/01/2019 19:24

Also no. I would never choose to live with parents or in laws. Neither would dh.

Might choose to live with siblings in connected flats/houses though, I'd love that, and DH's brother too.

mbosnz · 14/01/2019 19:26

My mother and I get on better and better, the further apart we live. 12,000 miles, and I'm a golden child. . .

Ragnarhairybreetches · 14/01/2019 19:31

Nope, not any of my siblings, extended family, DH or single parent thanks.

Getfitmumma · 14/01/2019 19:33

We had to live with my parents for 4 months due to a property chain issue andI loved it - shared housework and cooking! My DH coped....just....

DammitOedipus · 14/01/2019 19:35

I would love to live with my mom. She is amazing.

I couldn't live with my dad for more than a week at a time though, so that option is out.

Ribbonsonabox · 14/01/2019 19:36

No.
I've not fallen out with her or anything but just, no.

Quite happy living with my husband thanks. Surely the issue is if people feel forced into the nuclear family situation or shamed because they are not in it? It's not bad in itself is it?

Original poster
partinor · 14/01/2019 19:38

No the issue is the abuse in the nuclear family. It is not uncommon. Alongside how few men do actually pull their weight.

OP posts:
tinytreefrog · 14/01/2019 19:40

Oh dear god no!

Original poster
partinor · 14/01/2019 19:41

Gummy All good questions that I don't have the answer to, I never got that far. I just said I really could not imagine that most mothers want to live with their own mother. It is nice that some on here have done and loved it, but I suspect that would not be the most common experience if we all lived with our mothers.

OP posts:
Moussemoose · 14/01/2019 19:42

Good god no.

JustTwoMoreSecs · 14/01/2019 19:43

Where would the father live?
With the mother’s mother? But then parents of only boys would be on their own, quite unfair.
With his own parents? But he has a right to live with his DC right? So the mother would be living with her mother but without her DC half of the time?

Youngandfree · 14/01/2019 19:44

My mum (and dad) lived with us for nearly a year last year and I didn’t mind at all. We’re all fairly easy going. And it was easy childcare at times 😂😂

JustTwoMoreSecs · 14/01/2019 19:44

Xpost with gummy