To think most mothers would not want to live with their mothers?

[partinor]

I really want to know if I am out of step with opinion here?
A feminist friend is very against nuclear families, and I understand her point. But when I ask her what the alternatives could be, she argues that most mothers want to and would be better off living with their own mother.
I get on fine with my mother, but the thought of living with her with kids sends me into a cold sweat.
So AIBU to think most mothers would not want to live with their own mother?

I'm very close to my mum I phone her every day and see her at least twice most weeks.
Aint no way I want to live with her though, she'd be dead within the week!

I wouldn't personally, but I think in regards to nuclear families, your friend is supported by research which shows both historically and currently in counties with high infant mortality rates, the presence of a maternal grandmother significantly improves the nutritional status of children and their survival rate. The maternal grandmother is the only relative (other than mother) to have this effect. The presence of other relatives can worsen child survival rates.

No I did live with my mum for abit as an adult and she treated me very bad. Never again

My mother is vile to me. I'd rather saw off my own leg than live with her again. I can barely stand to visit.

No way. And I get on perfectly well with my mum in small doses. Maybe your friend needs to hang out on MN a bit OP, and read all the threads about people going NC with their DMs.

I love with mine but it’s no bed of roses!

Absolutely not. I couldn't stand it. We see each other once a year and that's plenty. I love her but I don't like her and it's mutual.

Nopity nope! I could at a push live with MIL if she was in a granny flat at the end of a long garden. Otherwise no. I like my space and privacy too much and can barely live with DH and be civil.

I’d rather gouge my eyes out with spoons, than live with my mum again.

I imagine I’ll live with one of/both my parents in the future.

Won’t ever live with a man again.

I like the idea, as does DD.

I'll be quite happy living with my DM. She is superb. Productivity is low when we are together.

I would live with my mum. But not with my dad, he would do my head in.

Eh, no. I loved her dearly but imho adults are not meant to live with their parents.

What brought her to this conclusion?

I lived with my mum and dad after a divorce - it lasted about a year - at the end of this time she died. We had a wonderful year together and she derived great joy from helping me with my little girl - taking her to playgroup, etc. while I was working. We always had a marvellous relationship and I'm so glad that we had that final year of her life together - so no regrets.

I couldn't live with my mother!
I do wonder sometimes if a few of my good friends would better living together and just have the men come occasionally as something pretty to look at.

Mothers are great to leave dump the children there for a few hours, while maintaining our independence.

My limit goes to one week at a time, per year, on holiday. At two, I start getting stressed before the holiday itself.

Christ, no. A two night visit twice a year is stressful enough!

I’d happily live with my lovely MIL short term but definitely not as a long term thing.

hell to the no from me too!

I love my mum to bits, and she's a fabulous, hands-on, involved grandma to my DC.

We'd kill each other in a week if we had to live together.

I can't think of a single person I know, male or female, who would opt to live with their parents in adult hood. Not one!

Gosh no! I love my mum and would have loved her to be closer when the dc were little but not actually living in the same house - for one thing we have very different ideas on housework standards and she'd have never let me sit down!

I don't think I would want adult dc with grandchildren living with me full time either - I'm sure I'd get lumbered with a lot more of the childcare than I really wanted! If needed short term to help them out (relationship breakdowns etc) then sure, I'd want to help out, but not as a permanent arrangement. I hope to be an active Granny, but I've done my time with a houseful of early rising, into everything toddlers thanks very much!

I moved out at 16 because I couldn’t stand living with my Mother. I’d never move back, not in a million years. And my MIL is even worse.

Sometimes I discuss with DH which of our surviving parents we would have living with us if they had to. I would go 1. My Ddad, 2. My MIL and a very far behind 3. My mother. We would kill each other. My kids would also either be be morbidly obese from being constantly offered biscuits or leave home due to the constant fussing.
Why would an alternative to the nuclear family have to be mothers and daughters? I always thought Id enjoy living in a female only commune, where women bring up their children together. What about the fathers? Would they just be around for impregnation? Or impregnation and financial contribution? Or would they have weekend visitation?

I’d love to live with my dm

I love my mum, but I couldn't live with her. I wonder if that's because once you move away, you'd struggle to adapt back to living together. Perhaps if I'd never moved out I'd be ok still living with her.