I fired my housekeeper/nanny

[QueenofWhisperz]

I have a child with SEN who is 10 and another child who is 5. My husband and I work ridiculously long hours and I entertain work clients on Friday nights.

We have had this housekeeper for the last 8 years, (ever since it was apparent that I would need help).

I love her deeply, she is like family. However, she did things that really upset me.

1. Took time off without notice, causing me to lose work.
2. Never completed her tasks, ever.
3. Tried to ingratiate her religious beliefs into my children.
4. Made me feel like no one else would work for me, or care for my children better than she would.

Today, I came home from a rough day at work, and I was doing homework with the kids before I took some clients outand this upcoming deal is quite important because it will cover some additional therapy my older child needs-and she informed me that she wasn't working her normal hours this evening.

We had agreed a work schedule in her contract; she always avoids working on a Friday night if she can help it. Anyway, as I was getting upset, I stopped myself and told her that today was her last day. (She was on warning for doing this before).

My husband has come in to tell me that I am awful. That after 10 years, I should have let her come back another day and had a nice farewell.

Professionally, cancelling this evening is devastating to me; not to mention the therapy I was going to be able to access for my son...which I will not. My boss and co-workers are having a field day with my failure for this evening and I feel like I have potentially lost everything. I am quite nervous about Monday, going back to work--but worse yet, laundry and lunches.

I didn't raise my voice, I just said that I needed her to work the schedule she agreed to, and that I will find someone else for Monday. I didn't want a heated conversation, I don't do the 'raised' voice thing.

Am I awful? Have I been terrible? I don't know how to do laundry, but I can learn. I might get fired for cancelling my evening dinner meeting.

yes @lola, I just don't get the pay off for people to do it?

Articles?
Attention?
sub-questions?

I'm sure the op knows how to do laundry, it's just the volume of it is overwhelming at the moment.

Anything that needs ironing take to an ironing shop.

Get on to an agency post haste to replace the nanny/housekeeper, make sure they have good references and that you and the children like them.

As the lady was on a warning, you were right to fire her. It's not a nice thing to have to do but to say she couldn't work at such short notice was not fair to you.

You can write to her and tell her you will give her a good reference.

Good luck.

If laundry sand lunches are the hardest part of my day, then I'm living on easy street!

Here, OP, you must be so tired....here's some and

Obviously puke and vomit are the same thing. I started to get the rage.

you cant be sacked for lack of childcare same as u cant sack your nanny without proper written warnings

i dont believe u cant do laundry have i never done it before in your life

if u cant look after childrens basic needs maybe dont have them

People are giving a lot more weight to the idea this nanny received a correct warning than I am! I’ve never assumed it was anything other than OP saying “you can’t cancel babysitting tonight! You agreed to do it. I’ll have to look after them myself now. What are their names again?”

So what if it isnt true? if everything on this forum was true there would be billions of women going to oxbridge and onto working in the city and having gifted children.

Is this a film?

Or is someone testing out a film script?

Are we inadvertently being a focus group for the storyline of Mary Poppins 3?

ILoveMaxiBondi, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Just.... take 'em!

If you’re in the UK, you cannot just fire her like that. Honestly...

Patroclus HEY! I was a gifted child! And, I did work in the city! But, I've never been to oxbridge......

thanks miss!

If you are in the UK then I think what you did is probably illegal.

If you 'always' entertain work clients on a Friday night (I would find another way to phrase that personally) and your housekeeper 'always' tries to avoid working on a Friday evening, then why didn't you put some other provision for childcare on a Friday in place? Like your husband. Or a professional babysitter paid for by your company.

How many hours a week was she expected to work for you? I understand the children would have been at school during the day but it sounds as though she did other house based work for you then. I don't think you sound like a very pleasant person to work for. Or with , since you are anticipating some gloating from your colleagues.

Housekeeper and nanny and works most Fridays?

I've worked in household staff recruitment for a long time and this smacks of you employing someone from a foreign country and taking the piss out of them.

You sacked her immediately after 8 years?! I've seen the damage his does to children. Fucking disgraceful.

ILoveMaxiBondi

So there is a contract. She had been on warning, it was her 4th. She had taken an unexpected leave for 2 weeks in September and lately has been taking a day off every week for the last few weeks too.

I will definitely be paying her notice and her salary, in full.

to the toxic poster who called me a 'spoiled bitch': some people have different lives to you. I haven't been in a situation to do my own laundry in a very long time, not because I'm spoiled, but because between work, hospital visits for my disabled child and other difficult circumstances.

My Husband couldn't watch the children this evening because he's on his way home from an overseas work trip.

I have known her for 10 years, but she has worked for us full time for 8.

@MissLanesAmericanCousin I'm putting a tenner on her being from the Philippines.

You did ask if you are being awful.
Mumsnet; “yes”

loolooskip, I guess it depends on where the OP lives. A lot of maids, nannies and housekeepers are Latina in the U.S. Of course, id she is Filipino, that doesn't make it any better. I'm getting off this thread, it's really starting to piss me off.

Take care, loo! x

taking a day off every week

Wow, sacking is too generous. I think you ought to have her whipped through the streets.

Surely you have a contingency plan in place for when she is ill? Couldn't you call on it?