I fired my housekeeper/nanny

[QueenofWhisperz]

I have a child with SEN who is 10 and another child who is 5. My husband and I work ridiculously long hours and I entertain work clients on Friday nights.

We have had this housekeeper for the last 8 years, (ever since it was apparent that I would need help).

I love her deeply, she is like family. However, she did things that really upset me.

1. Took time off without notice, causing me to lose work.
2. Never completed her tasks, ever.
3. Tried to ingratiate her religious beliefs into my children.
4. Made me feel like no one else would work for me, or care for my children better than she would.

Today, I came home from a rough day at work, and I was doing homework with the kids before I took some clients outand this upcoming deal is quite important because it will cover some additional therapy my older child needs-and she informed me that she wasn't working her normal hours this evening.

We had agreed a work schedule in her contract; she always avoids working on a Friday night if she can help it. Anyway, as I was getting upset, I stopped myself and told her that today was her last day. (She was on warning for doing this before).

My husband has come in to tell me that I am awful. That after 10 years, I should have let her come back another day and had a nice farewell.

Professionally, cancelling this evening is devastating to me; not to mention the therapy I was going to be able to access for my son...which I will not. My boss and co-workers are having a field day with my failure for this evening and I feel like I have potentially lost everything. I am quite nervous about Monday, going back to work--but worse yet, laundry and lunches.

I didn't raise my voice, I just said that I needed her to work the schedule she agreed to, and that I will find someone else for Monday. I didn't want a heated conversation, I don't do the 'raised' voice thing.

Am I awful? Have I been terrible? I don't know how to do laundry, but I can learn. I might get fired for cancelling my evening dinner meeting.

Why is it just you who needs the help and not your husband

Why was it you who took the hit on this evening and not him particularly given you think you might be fired

Why is it you who needs to do the laundry and lunchs

Your hours are clearly unsustainable for both of you given the level of stress you are under

How can you have never washed clothes? With children? She can’t have done every single wash for you. It’s not that difficult to do laundry!

Funny lives some people have

She’s already on a warning and if she’s refusing to work the agreed hours and only given the op 2 hrs notice that she won’t be working, surely that’s gross misconduct and she can sack her for that.

I’d have potentially not sacked her at the time as your dc will need time to get used to it and say their good byes but it’s time you get a new housekeeper/nanny.

And thinking about your children, they've known her all their lives.

Surely you want them/her to have a chance to say goodbye?

Not at all unreasonable. Why could your husband not do childcare tonight though? Surely if tonight was so important for your work, it would be better for him to miss work than you?

YANBU, if she was on a final warning for doing this before then you have followed procedure. (As long as you gave the warnings in accordance with her contract). You will need to pay notice to her (unless her contract has a clause relating to notice periods / gross misconduct / if this is considered GM in the contract)

But also from a personal level, YANBU- her job is to be there at the times set out in her contact - she isn’t doing her job!

(And there is no way I could employ someone for 8 years who tried to force their religion on my kids!)

Did she say why she couldn't work?

Has she been with you & years or 10? Youve said both.

Also 2. Never completed her tasks, ever.

Well she’s obviously competed the laundry every time as you’ve never done it!

I suspect you exaggerate somewhat and am now doubting the accuracy of the entire story tbh.

This doesnt make sense. What employee refuses to work their hours? There must be more going on.

Are you in the uk ? You needed to have given her warnings and have everything documented.

That should be 8 years or 10.

I’m wondering why you kept her 8 years if she never did her work and tried to I doctrinate your children.

Agree laguna

If she’s never completed her tasks, ever, then why has she been with you for 8 or 10 years. This is weird!

What hours does she work? What time off/ breaks does she get?

Yes but she hasn't 'worked' by the sounds of it. I can see where DH is coming from but it's not like she's done it from the goodness of her heart now is it? You've enough to deal with without second guessing yourself. You made a decision based on poor performance so feel reassured you did the right thing & move on. 😀

I work long hours in a demanding job, and I’m on my own. I understand the pressure. I’m still struggling to believe a parent would actually do this!

Your children will have a strong bond with their nanny (eight years she’s been caring for them?) and for her to suddenly disappear from their lives without any explanation or goodbye..

So you work long hours and despite the nannies poor performance you have enabled a relationship to build with your children. Suddenly you fire the nanny.... Your poor children

Do you live outside the UK?
does your nanny housekeeper have a contract?
does she live in your house?

OP - Please come back and tell us why your husband couldn't look after his children?

So you sacked her with immediate effect?????