Am I boring or is he a sex pest?

[Morningcoffeeee]

He's very highly sexed whereas I'm not, but we're intimate fairly regularly and I do make the effort so he can't say he's deprived (we have a 12 month old and I'm 6 months pregnant so that should tell you enough)

I don't need to rant on about how exhausting it is being pregnant whilst caring for a toddler.

Occasionally we'll go about a week without having it but that's largely to do with the fact he works nights so we have opposite routines, which I can't help.

I'm under a bit of stress at the moment and the last time we had it was 5 days ago, I'd happily go another few days as I'm just not in the mood but he's definitely expecting it now which I can tell as he's resorting to his sleazy behaviour again.

What I don't like is when I'm busy doing somethings around the house and he comes over to grab my bum or puts his hand between my legs and makes noises like "ooooft" or comments about me looking sexy (the latter I don't mind so much)

They have become the 'signal' that he's in the mood for sex so it rarely happens organically, it's supposed to get me going but does the absolute opposite. It puts me off him and makes me question his social skills.

He also sends dick pics and masturbation videos, I don't know why because I haven't forgotten what it looks like. I don't need a constant stream of the same penis (or any penis for that matter) on my phone.

Apparently his last ex was also highly sexed. I feel like telling him to sod off back to her sometimes.

So am I depriving him or is he a sex pest?

Have you any real life support op ? A friend or family member that you can confide in and that can help you get your ducks in a row and leave ?

I have some support yes, not a great deal of it but enough

Masturbates at work? Wtf? I think he has a major problem, OP. It sure as heck isn't you. I agree with pp, his ex is lying, probably she was scared he'd leave if she didn't have sex when he wanted.

He appears to be living in a porn film fantasy. Groping you mid programme and you're six months gone? I'd go nuts.

Please don't have sex unless you want to, coercive control is what he's doing, it's now an offence. Stop giving in to him. I don't know how you tolerate this idiot.

@ReanimatedSGB my husband does it on the odd occasion, only if he's really horny though and we are both sexting! I've done it at work in the past too, it's hard to shake the feeling when your in that mood

Christ, your house sounds like a prison where the prison warder is a sex addict. Not only have you no control when he's home but he also controls you via your phone when he's not there.
You must nearly vomit any time you see a Whatsapp from him.

You are married to a pervert. Sending you dick pics when he knew you were with your mum is fucking twisted.

His behaviour is only going to get worse with time.

He's cheated on you. Barrages you with unwanted pornographic images. Gropes you. Pesters you. Wanks in work and sends you picture/videos and is immature.

Ffs. How you've stayed with him so long is beyond me.

He sounds absolutely gross.

Reading this thread I dont think that the relationship is good FOR YOU.
Feeling pestered and pressured, heightened anxiety, being cheated on, feeling abnormal for not wanting sex as often as he does, inundated with dick pics.

He sounds like a complete pillock with a significant lack of self control.

Make you feel like you owe them — ex. Because you’re in a relationship, because you’ve had sex before, because they spent money on you or bought you a gift, because you go home with them
Give you compliments that sound extreme or insincere as an attempt to get you to agree to something
Badger you, yell at you or hold you down
Give you drugs and alcohol to loosen up your inhibitions
Play on the fact that you’re in a relationship, saying things such as: “Sex is the way to prove your love for me” or “If I don’t get sex from you I’ll get it somewhere else”
React negatively (with sadness, anger or resentment) if you say no or don’t immediately agree to something
Continue to pressure you after you say no
Make you feel threatened or afraid of what might happen if you say no
Try to normalize their sexual expectations: ex. “I need it, I’m a guy.”

The above is a list of signs of sexual coercion in a relationship , this is what you are putting up with OP and it is a form of abuse. Run for the hills from this "man" he has no respect for you.

I feel a bit sick for you OP reading this thread - because I was in a marriage like this for 30+ years.
The list that Badirene has put up - I could tick nearly all of them.
A phrase that ReanimatedSGB used rang true as well
When you have sex with him, is it enjoyable for you or is it a matter of 'letting' him do it on you?

That was vyr much the case for me - I felt totally objectified - something he 'had sex on'. he eventually left me for a much younger woman - and once I;d got over the shock the relief of the end to the constant bagdering and coercion was enormous. I asked him why he had sex with me even after he'd started his secret affair - his reply 'I was horny, you were there' - Which says it all really. he is not treating you as an autonomous human being.
He sends you dick pics when you;ve asked him not to - that is utterly invasive and disrespectful.

If you are anything like me, he will have tried to convinced you that you are 'weird', you have an abnormal sex drive, you are frigid etc etc.
His groping (yes I had that too - shoving his hand between my legs when we were out, or driving or whatever) grabbing at me all the time. It is the biggest turn off ever.

Sorry this is a bit of a ramble, but my advice would be leave him. he doesn't see you as a person, he doesn't value you as the person you are he just wants sex - no thought for you or your body or how it might feel to be tired and pregnant - all that matters is his desires (mine tried to coerce me into sex and sulked when I couldn;t oblige when I was lying in bed half dead after about of chemo).

You aren't abnormal - he is, he's disgusting and misogynistic and someone who treats others the way he treats you is not an example you want your children to learn from.

I wish to God I'd left my abusive relationship earlier. I hope you can find a way out of this

If your serious about keeping this guy around (and tbh you don't seem to like him much) you need to retrain all his instincts on what to do when he wants sex.

You not only need to tell him to stop the shit he's doing but only sleep with him if your in the mood. You also need to spell out explicitly what you do like and what you don't like.

If he grabs you at the crotch (after telling him all these things) just smile push him away and say 'well someones guaranteed they won't be getting sex tonight' and follow through with it.

That being said, i would bin him if i were you. he sounds very unappealing