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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman in cafe, is this a new form of space invading?

211 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 10/01/2019 11:57

I know this has been done to death, the usual thing of people standing too close in queues, sitting next to you in an empty carriage etc etc. but this was a new one on me yesterday and l can't fathom why it bothered me so much, but here goes.
Went for a coffee whilst shopping yesterday and as it was late some of the popular window tables were free so l went and sat at one watching out the window as you do.
A man came and sat at the next window table to me and was then joined by a woman both middle aged, fiftyish. She took off her coat and turned to me and rather bruskly asked me if the seat behind her at my table (directly opposite me) was taken. I said no and to help yourself, resist g temptation to mimic her brusk tone. With that she put her coat with big fur collar around the back of the chair, turned round and started sorting out her coffee etc, leaving me sat at my table opposite her coat and partly blocking my view outh window.
Wtf? Just to clarify these tables have four seats around them so l had three empty she had two but they are small tables and only realistically seat three comfortably.

OP posts:
Pashal2 · 14/01/2019 23:24

Why can't the woman put her own coat at her own table with her own companion? Why must the OP have to sit with a stranger's coat? Why wouldn't the OP just camp out in the cloat check room in that case since she now became the defacto coat-sitter in the cafe? It's intrusive, presumptuous, weird and rude. Plain and simple.

Pashal2 · 14/01/2019 23:29

Exactly butchyrestingface! Would it have been ok if the middle aged woman's companion put his coat and belongings at OP table as well, like some kind of coat repository? I agree it's strange

Pashal2 · 14/01/2019 23:33

PK 37 perhaps the people defending the coat hanger do this kind of thing themselves..... especially on their privileged planet, LoL

Pashal2 · 14/01/2019 23:35

LoL too funny! Social worker of cheek!

Pashal2 · 14/01/2019 23:41

The part about the age I understand because you would like to believe that people our age 50+, would have manners and consideration for other people that many members of younger generations lack due to inexperience or the that often accompanies youth.

Pashal2 · 14/01/2019 23:51

The world is coming to a place where rude passive aggressive people invade the space of others and there's a whole brigade of people willing to justify it because they lack the ability to stand up to rude people

Pashal2 · 14/01/2019 23:59

And blueskiesandbutter if the person told you to get your farging coat off my table and put it at your own table would that readjust your perspective as to what was and was not"your territory"?

SpotlessMind · 15/01/2019 09:10

Maybe she did it to make sure no one sat behind her which is cheeky. Once the OP left then anyone else looking for a window seat would probably see the coat and assume someone was already sitting there, I don’t think it would cross my mind that the coat might belong to the person on the next table.

whyamievenamazeddotcom · 27/01/2019 02:02

MSlexic you are my hero a friend of mine once put a canapé she didn’t like at this posh work do in the hood of-a girls coat which had been draped over the back of the chair in front of us .. the coat hood was on our knees but unsure if the canapé went in because hood was annoying furry affair in our chair and leg space space or simply because canape was awful and realistically no where else to put it ... we sat sniggering through remainder of work talk thingy fending off dirty looks !

whyamievenamazeddotcom · 27/01/2019 02:07

Got carried away re scramble s egg the woman’s should have draped her coat over her own chair on her own table clearly Ill bet pound to penny she’s one of those people who shunt their sun bed back so far you end up having them laying with you under the umbrella you’ve paid for! OR being forced out into the sun while they get your shade... who are these people

llangennith · 27/01/2019 02:44

YANBU.
Could you have moved the chair that she'd put her coat on out of your eyeline and next to her table?

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