Woman in cafe, is this a new form of space invading?

[Bahhhhhumbug]

I know this has been done to death, the usual thing of people standing too close in queues, sitting next to you in an empty carriage etc etc. but this was a new one on me yesterday and l can't fathom why it bothered me so much, but here goes.
Went for a coffee whilst shopping yesterday and as it was late some of the popular window tables were free so l went and sat at one watching out the window as you do.
A man came and sat at the next window table to me and was then joined by a woman both middle aged, fiftyish. She took off her coat and turned to me and rather bruskly asked me if the seat behind her at my table (directly opposite me) was taken. I said no and to help yourself, resist g temptation to mimic her brusk tone. With that she put her coat with big fur collar around the back of the chair, turned round and started sorting out her coffee etc, leaving me sat at my table opposite her coat and partly blocking my view outh window.
Wtf? Just to clarify these tables have four seats around them so l had three empty she had two but they are small tables and only realistically seat three comfortably.

[Bahhhhhumbug]

Tigertooth yes l guess couldn't care less about the chairs themselves, it was more the space invading aspect. I couldn't live in London l have been a few times, l can't be doing with all the pushing and shoving. Where l live is a fairly quiet town, but getting less so in recent years as most places are


.

[elfycat]

I had someone challenge me for a table in Wetherspoons last week. My friends and I meet there practically every day sometimes after the school run, have breakfast and coffee, then two of them work, returning 2 hours later.

I'm studying full time with the OU and often stay, have lunch and wait for them to come back for more coffee until school pick up. If I come home I get caught up in housework and stuff; if my friends aren't returning I might go to the library.

My OU course is entirely online, and so if possible I get one of the 2 tables in the place with a power point, or my battery will quit on me fairly quickly (old laptop). They are both tables for 4 people. I do take up a bit of room in full study mode; laptop, A4 notebook, index cards and box, pens, drinks cup, maybe a couple of books I'm referencing.

A man came up to me and started talking to me and I thought he was asking to take one of the spare chairs, but then realised he was asking me to move. I had food on order to the table at this point so I said no, and that I had friends joining me in a few minutes there was about 15-20 minutes until they did. He seemed quite put out.

He then sat nearby at a table for 2 and glowered at me. He was joined by his wife. There were at least one other table for 4, but it needed clearing, but a table for 2 was adequate for them. They were still eating when there were 3 of us on our table for 4, and still glowering.

Both the power-point tables are by the windows and more sought after for the ambience I guess.

Was I unreasonable?

[mickeymacca]

Was her granny inside the coat?

[Bahhhhhumbug]

Haha yes it did seem to take on a life of its own, she must've only been about 4ft 6 though.

[Bahhhhhumbug]

**elfycat"" l don't think so. I mean are people alone or in twos not as entitled to enjoy the tables with the best view/power supply etc etc. In my case the cafe has all four seater tables so the only way to avoid under populating a table is not to go alone or with less than three or four people. Having said that l would have no problem with others joining my table if no other seats.

[DameSquashalot]

[poppiesallykatie]

There was a reasonable suggestion upthread that she created her own type of Mexican Wall, due to the potentially sensitive nature of her meeting, I thought that was good logic.Or in a similar way maybe it was throwing shapes i.e, I can tell anyone at anytime to do anything for the benefit of the client,

[Catsinthecupboard]

I tried writing at a cafe. (After morning rush, before lunch) It was fine, for a few days, then someone decided, for no discernable reason, that out of the 5 empty tables in my section, the best one was next to me. In the seat next to me.

She began a trend. She and another customer were the trend.

I think that story about j.k. rowling writing Harry Potter in a coffee shop is poppycock.

[Try2makeadifference]

So you didn’t realise you had answered Nikita’s secret question and therefore didn’t secretly retrieve the micro film and 3 fake passports from the pocket of the decoy coat?

[janex1]

Good grief! Middle aged! I’m 53. You make me feel like another species!

[Itsnotme123]

I’m loving some of the stories on here.

I think she didn’t like the coat and was hoping you’d steal it.

I was in a cafe in London, with my male friend who is quite old. Two chaps in suits sat at the table next to us with lap tops and other equipment. After 20 minutes of them having a business meeting, one of them left the cafe. The other one packed his laptop away, turned to us and asked us to look after his lap top and equipment whilst he went to the loo !!! I mean, I know people say I have an honest face, but really, why would you take that chance ?

[RLABC]

OP, I really think that you need to draw a diagram as sooo many PPs seem to find it impossible to understand the layout and seating arrangements of the two tables/brusque woman/possessed coat/window etc.

[TunaVersesAngelfish]

Love this thread 🤣😂

[blueskiesandforests]

janex1 have you not read that the OP is 60 and was giving context. 53 is late middle aged, it's just a fact (I'm middle aged too, which I prefer at least to "of a certain age" which some people say and I always think is a euphemism for menopausal...)

[OneStepSideways]

I think she was just guarding the space behind her so nobody sat too close. A bit cheeky but they may have been having a private conversation. Either that or her coat was very expensive and she wanted it noticed!

It always baffles me when people sit close to mothers feeding babies/toddlers. I've had more than one milk spraying/puree flicking/sticky finger grabbing incident!

[nonetcurtains]

I have two space invader stories and thinking about them still winds me up -
when visiting Lyme Regis, dh and I (plus dog) had walked up the hill overlooking the bay and stopped to have a breather on one of the benches. The view from there is fab.
Had sat for a few minutes when a crowd of about 30 tourists arrived coming down the hill and stopped immediately in front of us, literally about 2 meters in front, completely blocking our view.

They were getting louder and louder till they were all shouting over each other. I let our very very large, very friendly and very damp dog off her lead to say hello. She was pleased.

Other time was many years ago when my two children were young. We had been to a local shopping centre one very hot day and went to the little cafe there for lunch. Very cheap and cheerful, narrow aisle between the tables. It wasn't busy and there were plenty of free places.
We sat at a four seat table with our cups of tea and lunch on a tray each. Three workmen came in, walked up the aisle till level with our table then stopped. Talking to each other. One then sat on our table with his backside about three inches away from my tray. How I wish I had jabbed my fork into his fat arse. Had to content myself with an outraged " DO YOU MIND".

[Notveryadventurousname]

Agree with OP. This is invasive and the normal thing to do would be hang your coat on your own chair, one at your table or use the coatstand if there is one. If not, I would bundle my coat up and put on top of my bag on the floor or under the table. When you use a cafe, you are paying for the surroundings and ambience, not to have your immediate space cluttered by some else's personal possessions so they in turn can have more space for themselves. Totally different if cafe busy and you need to share tables, that's just part of life, sometimes fun, sometimes mildly frustrating but just necessary. This was encroachment/man-spreading equivalent etc and unnecessary.

[Notveryadventurousname]

I think the environment is probably even more important when on your own as there isn't anything else to distract you. Two people chatting would focus on the conversation and find it easier to ignore the enormous dastardly meringue of a coat blocking the view.

She may also have felt her party size trumped yours. Don't get me started on this....or the machinations faced by a sole diner who wants to visit the bathroom. I've returned to find my food/drink moved and table taken by other customers (inevitably a couple), and in one case, my barely started hot lunch and coffee cleared and disposed of by the waiter while I took toddler to the loo.

[Bahhhhhumbug]

Sorry Janex l wake up every morning and am hit by the awful realisation l am in my sixties and wonder where l go to demand a recount . I wasn't being ageist l just wanted to pre empt posters suggesting it was thoughtless ignorance/ entitlement of youth or maybe the onset of dementia and so on.

[Bahhhhhumbug]

It wasnt an expensive looking coat at all it was one of those puffa jackets that you throw a stone and hit six of them on any street. I am pretty sure nothing to do with keeping the conversation private etc or saving the table after ld gone as they went before l did and the position of coat didn't block my view of them whatsoever , just in my direct line of vision for looking out the window.

Interesting suggestion by *poppiesallykatie*and pp who suggested this. First thing that struck me was maybe she was doing it to make herself out to be authoritative/more important than me, maybe for the benefit of her 'client' or maybe she is like this in the office pushing her weight around etc especially with people a lower grade than her. There is a type definitely that behave like this, l used to work for the NHS and there was someone sat opposite me who was in a higher grade than me, though our jobs were differing departments. We all had our own specific permanent desks and she would often try and say some of her files/in tray etc should go on my desk and would often push them across the join. I did just keep putting them back and she did have plenty of room and spare surfaces nearby unused. But it was as if to say lm more important than you so l can take some of your space too.

[Bahhhhhumbug]

Try2makeadifference l know l failed miserably, the ball went straight over my head with that one
LBAC l was dreading someone asking for a diagram lve no idea how and lm not very technical. Do l just draw the scene and then just take a pic and attach it? Or is there a drawing app? Anyway will have to be later as lm going out soon but will give it a go later on.

[RLABC]

Yes, yes, yes! Just draw it out, photo it and then attach it to your next post. Oh please do it

[Cab65]

In a very tightly packed London restaurant I put my mobile phone into my coat pocket that was on the back of my chair, when I got home my mobile was not in my pocket, I rang it and a very irate woman told me that I had put it in her coat pocket also hanging on the back of her chair directly behind me. I’m not sure why she was annoyed I was the one who had to traipse across London to collect it. My DH has never let me forget it and brings it up as proof of my scattinese.

[Pashal2]

Americanized🙄

[Pashal2]

Perhaps the OP believes that being middle aged means she should have more mature and deferential manners. Unlike, perhaps a poorly raised teenager or millennial.