Woman in cafe, is this a new form of space invading?

[Bahhhhhumbug]

I know this has been done to death, the usual thing of people standing too close in queues, sitting next to you in an empty carriage etc etc. but this was a new one on me yesterday and l can't fathom why it bothered me so much, but here goes.
Went for a coffee whilst shopping yesterday and as it was late some of the popular window tables were free so l went and sat at one watching out the window as you do.
A man came and sat at the next window table to me and was then joined by a woman both middle aged, fiftyish. She took off her coat and turned to me and rather bruskly asked me if the seat behind her at my table (directly opposite me) was taken. I said no and to help yourself, resist g temptation to mimic her brusk tone. With that she put her coat with big fur collar around the back of the chair, turned round and started sorting out her coffee etc, leaving me sat at my table opposite her coat and partly blocking my view outh window.
Wtf? Just to clarify these tables have four seats around them so l had three empty she had two but they are small tables and only realistically seat three comfortably.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

I am like something out of Barbara Pym but with scrambled egg.

I could see Prudence putting scrambled egg in someone's pocket . . .

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Went to the cinema today and the woman behind me took her shoes off and put her feet up on my headrest. People are weird.

That is disgusting!

I think I'd have been tempted to make remarks about the stench, or even stick a pin in her toe.

(Yes, since you ask. I do keep a pin in my handbag for occasions such as this emergencies. I thought everyone did.)

[Magenta46]

Where I live we seat ourselves in the place nearest the person with an available place. This is usually during busy times, and it's a great way to engage in conversation and enjoy fellowship. I like company, as does the aforementioned lady.She sounds really lovely

[Magenta46]

the thing is, we will come on here and share the most intimate of problems, yet when it comes to actually talking to people in real life we are affronted if anyone dares to be upfront and want to be in our company. Bit odd don't you think?

[IDECLAREBANKRUPTCY]

@SchadenfreudePersonified it is disgusting. I moved seats. Normally I'm not adverse to confrontation and would say something, but her and partner were loud and seemed like they could be aggressive. She was burping loudly too, seemed better just to move seats.

[IDECLAREBANKRUPTCY]

@Magenta46 not really. It's a choice to be on here. I can choose when I want to be on my own in peace, or having a meal with my family. Leaving the house doesn't mean I want my privacy invaded.

[Bahhhhhumbug]

magenta46 which aforementioned lovely lady?

[Butteredghost]

Space invaders are really strange. Once I was hiking. I stopped for a rest at a spot that wasn't really a stop, not a picnic area or even a clearing of any kind, no rocks or tree branches to sit on. It wasn't picturesque, no view or anything. I just wanted to stop and sit quietly for a few minutes next to the track. A couple comes along (the first people I've seen for an hour) and sits right next to me. I couldn't believe it!

[He11y]

If she was working, I’m thinking she was claiming the area in case you moved and a group of people came along and wanted to sit there. Given she has a brusque manner, she may be arrogant and think that an acceptable thing to do.

[TheMaddHugger]

Magenta46 Fri 11-Jan-19 02:01:25
Where I live we seat ourselves in the place nearest the person with an available place. This is usually during busy times, and it's a great way to engage in conversation and enjoy fellowship. I like company, as does the aforementioned lady.She sounds really lovely

[Bahhhhhumbug]

I've skimmed read back through the whole thread and l still don't know who the 'aforementioned lovely lady' is and who the 'she' is in 'she sounds lovely'.

[BlancheM]

Well at least someone has finally explained the mindset. I can't believe some people think others owe them company and conversation when the reason most people meet up for drinks or dinner is to catch up themselves or enjoy quality time...alone together.

[YeOldeNameChange]

It’s very odd, the equivalent of a cat scenting and I too would’ve been tempted to put my coat on one of her chairs.

Years ago on a date we went to the cinema. It was virtually empty. Then another couple came in and sat right next to us. I said FFS loudly and stormed off, I don’t get some people.

[purplebunny2012]

I would not like this as she's chosen you to mind her property without actually asking. She can't see her coat but you can. Bloody rude

[riceuten]

Perversely, I like winding people who have (unreasonable) personal space issues - particularly on a train, where someone exhales loudly when you ask them to allow you to sit down in one of the FOUR seats they've occupied with their stuff, all the while exhaling loudly and saying "GOD !"

Yes, I am a horrible person

[TwoPickle]

Maybe she wanted to reserve the table behind as they had people joining them later?

[rededucator]

OP, restaurants sit people near each other to create a 'buzz' a bit of an atmosphere as they (rightly or wrongly) think a empty room looks in appealing. Equivalent to if there are two restaurants next door to each other on holiday and one is near full and the other near empty you'd assume the fuller restaurant was better and so choose that one. It's the same idea

[Yb23487643]

Sounds loony tunes, like they own the world! I know ppl like this. It’s like they’re over compensating for not being as important or respected as they wish they were & is an attempt at attention - “look at me, I can speak down to you & leave my coat anywhere” because I’m so important. Made her look like an utter dick. Very childish. Maybe the overcompensating is because she’s scared off all her friends. Having someone like that in close proximity gives me heebyjeebies. Yuk!

[purplebunny2012]

Except Douglas Adams never said cookies, it was biscuits when he told it (digestives, IIRC)

[TigerTooth]

I think YABU
You weren't using the chair - it was not blocking your view, why a problem?
This reminds me of when someone is pulling out if a parking space so you stop behind and indicate and then they take 45 mins to move - they don't want or need the space but kinda don't want you to have it either - same as the chair.
Her coat was bulky and she put it out of the way on an empty chair - what's the problem?

[sunglasses123]

I was in Jamie's once Sat lunchtime and whilst I was on my own I know it tends to get a lot of families with kids. I was sitting at a table for 2 and a couple came in with a buggy and two kids who clearly didn't want to be there and were kicking off.

The buggy park within the café was full so this chap asked whether he could move the chair opposite me and proceeded to put his scummy pushchair with caked on food and such like opposite me which put me right off my food!

[Nanna50]

Re the Douglas Adams story I have a similar experience on a train circa 1980 / 81. I bought some hot soup and put it on the table to cool with a spoon in it while I had read my book. I looked up and saw my spoon was gone and was lying on the napkin of the man beside me.

I picked up my spoon, smiling at said man, and proceeded to stir my soup. A few moments later when drinking my soup something hit my teeth, it was my spoon which had melted in the hot soup and curled up at the bottom of the cup.

[Jent13c]

Could it have been to make sure nobody stole anything out the pockets? My father used to put his suit jacket over his chair and obviously couldn't see it so someone stole his wallet out the pocket. They then stole his identity from his driving licence etc and it took years to sort out. If the seat was directly behind her she is the only person close enough to access the pockets?

[CrazyCrunk]

Personal space-wise, I sat down next to a man on the bus earlier, in the prime top-front 'driving' seats.

He made a big palaver of "oh I'll move shall I? As there are thirty EMPTY seats on the bus" - yes mate, move if you like, I've got to do the driving 🤷‍♀️