To be annoyed we were still expected to pay?

[Mumosa]

Hi all some advice would be appreciated as i’m unsure if i’m right in feeling this way. So the situation goes, a friend of mine was having a party and wanted to hire a hot tub for it. There was only 3 couples attending this small party and we all agreed to split the cost. However the day of the party my husband got severe food poisoning and ended up in hospital so obviously we couldn’t attend. Our friends continued with the party and enjoyed the hot tub. However the day after they asked for our part of the money. I was surprised but paid up as didn’t want to get into a debate. The thing is at the time I was off on maternity leave and financially we weren’t doing great. The other 2 couples have no kids, full time jobs and living very comfortably. I just felt it was a bit shitty of them to ask for the money after everything that happened? What do you think? Cheers

YANBU.

I would have sent flowers and a get well card not a photo and a bill!!
i got a phone call first thing the next day asking me to transfer the £40 and telling me what a fun night they’d had.
This swings it for me. It's very thoughtless and mean-spirited behaviour.

I'd feel differently if someone just cancelled because they couldn't be arsed to come and left everyone else with a higher bill, but illness can't be helped.

YABU. It's unfortunate that your hub got ill but you'd already committed to paying. It's an unforseen circumstance.

I think the other 2 couples should have maybe agreed to split your share under the circumstances however, if i was you i would have offered to pay as it wasn’t their fault you couldn’t attend.

This is one reason why i tend to ask for money up front.

A shared hot tub amongst three couples screams something at me. Not sure what though lol.

Anyway just pay up and move on to the next adventure.

I would probably not asked you to pay, however YABU for assuming that the other couples are financially comfortable. Unless you have access to their bank accounts, you have no idea. People always assume that my husband and I are well off (because we have a nice house in a nice area). However money is tight, people assumptions are annoying.

". I guess it was under the circumstances I would have thought they’d say “don’t worry about it”"

But perhaps they couldn't afford to?

But why couldn't YOU go OP, I get your DH was poorly but that's him, not you?

Imagine the boot on the other foot and YOU being stung with a bill if you'd paid for the hot tub and a couple pulling out, especially 'being on a lower income than the other couples, what with stat mat pay and all'. You can't assume to know someone else's financial situation unless you're incredibly close friends, you're making an assumption on that note methinks

Sending you pics was a bit shitty but YABU overall

I would not have asked for the money if I was one of the two couples, but I would have offered the money if I was you.

Is it just me that is appalled at the thought of being in my skimpies in front of other women's husbands???

OP are you swingers?

A shared hot tub amongst three couples screams something at me. Not sure what though lol.
As I once read on here - "Chlamydia Soup"

Is it just me that is appalled at the thought of being in my skimpies in front of other women's husbands???

What do you think might happen? Uncontrollable boners?

Do you never wear a bikini on holiday?

Jobbie juice soup.

All those bum crack juices frothing away- the perfect evening.

YABU and should pay for what you committed. Imagine if the show was on the other foot and you were the ones who had forked out.

Even if you don't go, you should still pay. I don't understand why you could not have gone. It was your husband who was ill. However, if I was the host, I would not have asked you for the money. If you have a party,you should not expect guests to pay.

Shared hot tub with multiple couples.....

That’s quite a party. Was there a bowl for keys too?

I've already asked who paid for the key bowl

OP- you are no more financially worse off with your DH being ill than if you had shared use of the tub.
Ofcourse you should pay- why should your friends be out of pocket?

And @Wittow - Is it just me that is appalled at the thought of being in my skimpies in front of other women's husbands???

Are you that hot that you think they can't control themselves? Or are your friends hubbys all just leery dickheads?

Sorrr op but I agree with most - You could afford it when you were going to use it so it didn't cost you any more than you had budgeted for.
Why do you think your friend should pay double just because you didn't attend?!?

And @Wittow - Is it just me that is appalled at the thought of being in my skimpies in front of other women's husbands???
Do you never go the beach then?

2fromcold

I've already asked who paid for the key bowl

Another vote for 'you should still offer, they should refuse'.

It's a tenner each for those who attended. Basically small change to all to them by the sound of it.

But let's be real - it's very crass behaviour all round. It wouldn't have entered my head that 'they'll let us off' - I would have just offered to pay unprompted.

As someone succinctly put it though, what else would you expect from hot tub people?

@TigerTooth ?

Op put it this way - If you'd all agreed to go to the theatre and you put all the tickets into your credit card and then a couple cancelled at the last minute - would you expect them not to give you the ticket money?

Yabu...