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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to stay with new partner if he only likes kissing ..

151 replies

unionof3 · 09/01/2019 14:30

Would I be batshit? He only likes kissing. No sexual contact as such . More sensual that sexual. I am young, single with no history . The problem is that I’m crazy for him ? Does it get better or is this weird ?

OP posts:
MaliceInSunderland · 09/01/2019 14:33

It would be weird. He needs to find someone else who only likes kissing.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/01/2019 14:34

You would be making a massive mistake staying with him. Don't do it.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 09/01/2019 14:37

I would love this actually. I find sex a real chore.

ShatnersWig · 09/01/2019 14:39

OP you're not compatible. Simple as. No right or wrong. As you can see, there are other people for who this would be ideal. Unless you want to not have sex for the next 40 years, I'd get out now. Because it will become a problem in time even if it isn't now (and you know it is, really, or you wouldn't be asking).

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 09/01/2019 14:39

Are you certain he is a he?

userschmoozer · 09/01/2019 14:41

Have you talked about it with him? He might be taking it slowly. Or he might be covering up a problem.

kalefire · 09/01/2019 14:42

Aprilshowers has a great point tbf

FoofFighter · 09/01/2019 14:43

Do you want children?

Zoflorabore · 09/01/2019 14:43

Is he a virgin op? He could be nervous.

I'm with the pp who would love it too.
I think that's because I'm with the wrong person though.

You need to speak to him, good luck Flowers

Original poster
unionof3 · 09/01/2019 14:52

I definitely want a child or more than one. I love sex . I love him more at the moment though. He talks about it but won’t have any medical tests or any type of psychological help or counselling . He is a he . He will dtd but is reluctant and takes ages to arouse but seconds to orgasm . He just does not like sex or sexual activity but would kiss and cuddle all the time .I might be wrong but I think he is repulsed by it

OP posts:
mrspicklepants27 · 09/01/2019 14:54

Please trust me, in the long run it will never work. He will never change and you will end up resenting him. You need somebody on your level sexually

ShatnersWig · 09/01/2019 15:02

Oh give your head a wobble. How the fuck can you honestly consider remaining with someone who doesn't enjoy sex when you love it and want a family? You've only been together a short while too, as you say he's your new partner.

How old are you????

ElspethFlashman · 09/01/2019 15:07

You love sex but he's repulsed by it?

What the hell are you thinking?!!

What do you think is going to happen here?

What magical event is going to turn him into a horndog? None, that's what. This is who he is!

Fucking hell, love isn't enough. No way.

eniledam · 09/01/2019 15:08

Do you think he's asexual, OP?

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/01/2019 15:09

You are batshit crazy to even consider staying with this person - he has issues - he needs to sort them. If he does there 'may' be a future but defo not until then...sorry OP

SouthernComforts · 09/01/2019 15:09

My worst nightmare, no way.

There's a huge amount of threads on here atm about people not wanting sex.. weird.

Babymamamama · 09/01/2019 15:12

Have you actually seen his privates? Perhaps he has some kind of physical issue?

beachysandy81 · 09/01/2019 15:15

Only you can make this decision. There are plenty of people who aren't bothered about sex but the fact that you say you love it makes me think this will become an issue.

CloserIAm2Fine · 09/01/2019 15:15

You’re not compatible, long term you’ll end up miserable

morningconstitutional2017 · 09/01/2019 15:16

I can see this working only if you have a very low or zero sex drive. If you are just kidding yourself because he's so nice in other ways then it's bound to cause unhappiness at some point.

Justaboy · 09/01/2019 15:17

It is possible he does have some issues with regard to sex but this does seem doomed to failure can he speak to his GP who can perhaps put him in touch with someone who can advise and talk to him?.

Its quite possibel he's Asexual whic for you won't be much fun:(

Thewifipasswordis · 09/01/2019 15:18

He's Asexual. It only gets worse. Leave.

lostinjapan · 09/01/2019 15:18

There’s not necessarily anything wrong with him, he might just be asexual. I couldn’t be in a relationship with him though, I think you’d both be better off finding partners with matching sex drives.

You shouldn’t have sex with him if he’s only reluctantly agreeing BTW, it’s not very consensual.

jessstan2 · 09/01/2019 15:19

I honestly don't know. If you like it as it is at the moment, no point in breaking up. However I don't think it would be satisfactory long term so bear that in mind.

gamerchick · 09/01/2019 15:19

You aren't compatible OP. This relationship will make you miserable. He needs to find someone who thinks the same as him.