Aunt has had a heart attack but DP being an arse

[BonnieBright]

...but DP doesn't want me to visit her for too long as we have a small baby and he doesn't want to be away from our son for a week.

We've had a massive row over it. She's my aunt. And it's only a week.

I'm upset. I need to be there for my mum also who is in bits. I'll be visiting next week too, regardless of how he feels about that.

She lives in Cornwall and I'm in Wales so not like I can just pop down for the night.

I know HIBU but I'm in tears and angry and worried about my aunt so needed to vent on mn :( I've never been close to my aunt but I love her and she's been present my whole life. I'm surprised how upset I am over it.

Sorry I think YAB a bit U. You’re not that close - does she even want you there? He’s fine to be concerned you’re basically saying you intend to spend a couple of weeks away from him and your baby.

Are you saying he doesn’t want you to take the baby or that you shouldn’t be away from the baby?

Of course YANBU and I'm really sorry to hear about your aunt . Could DH not join you at any point?

Leave the baby with him and then you go so you can focus on her

Otherwise I agree with him a week is too long

Can you compromise on 3 nights? It must be around a 4 hour drive?

How old is your baby? A week away from a baby is a long time. I think I'm actually in agreement with him.

@DianaPrincessOfThemyscira it's my mum's sister who is so unwell she could die. My mum lives on her own and has asked me to stay as she needs support. I don't think that 2 weeks is that long considering I will be home for a few days in the interim at weekends and DP is at work in the week anyway.

I'd be there in the week when he's at work and home on the weekend.

I'm sorry about your aunt. I do sort of see your dp's point of view though, especially if you weren't close to your aunt. Does it really need to be a full week?

Yeah I don't see the issue if you're going to be home at the weekends.

And I doubt a baby would be allowed near a cardiac ward

BTW to clarify, I'm not saying you shouldn't go at all, but feel that it should only be for about 3 days.

He’s not being an arse.

I'm not sure you would be allowed to take the baby into hospital. A lot of hospital wards do now allow children under a certain age, ours is under age 12.

How would you feel if it was him taking the baby for that length of time? I think you are both being a little bit unreasonable and a compromise is the answer

Sorry OP, but I am also with your husband here. He would be losing out on seeing his baby for a woman you were not even close to.

How will you manage to see sick aunt with your baby?

It's my mum I'm going to be with as she's in pieces. Her sister is only 40 and was in good health we thought, and now she can't even talk.

So really, IABU wanting to stay with my mum during the week whilst she sorts things even if I'm home for the weekend? If the majority think yes then I guess IABU but I'm surprised by that.

Oh FGS! Are some of these posts real?!

Op - of COURSE he is being unreasonable. This is a serious health issue with massive potential for a bad outcome. Essentially it's an emergency dash to be with and support your mum as well as see your aunt.

Your DH will get many, many days/weeks/months/years with your baby. Sadly, your aunt may not. You may never get these days again.

how would it be if he was the one taking the baby because you were working ?

Play it by ear? After a few days you should have more indication of her health and your mother may be calmer. Remember you won’t be able to take your baby into the hospital so your mum will probably spend a lot of time there leaving you alone.

A week or more is a long time, I think it's an emotional time and of course you want to see your mum but how about say 4 days. BF issues aside can you imagine veing without your baby son for over a week? Try to see it from all sides if you can, i know when things like this happen its not always easy. It isn't that far and you can always visit again after a few days at home. Remember your mum may need some support now, but could also need it down the line and in reality you can't be with her the whole time. You can also support her via phone at times too and visit as a family at other times.

He should be supporting you through this crisis, not making it worse for you!

I'm not going to the hospital immediately. I'm helping my mum sort things out. My aunt has young kids that need looking after, dogs, school runs, etc. My mum also needs support so she doesn't totally fall apart. She's my mother how can I say no to the person who has looked after and supported me my whole life?

Would you like your husband taking the baby away for 2 weeks? Would you be happy about that?

Thought not just because he is the dad does not mean he has to play second fiddle too you with missing his baby. No one on here would say you would be reasonable if sexes were revised.