DS wants to invite everyone but one to his party

[Sherbetty]

DS's 10th birthday is coming up and he's decided he wants a whole class party with the exception of one child. They've never gotten on, the boy has always teased DS, tried to turn his friends against him, the other week he was throwing stones at DS whilst he was on his way home from school. I can understand why he wouldn't want to invite him but it may cause more problems in ths long run between them. I can only imagine what his parent's will be like if their son is the only one not to be invited. DH thinks it would be cruel not to invite him despite how he treats DS, would I be being unreasonable to let DS do this?

BigChocFrenzy - I think you are right, it was them being tried in the adult court at 10 that I remember as being the "change", thanks for pointing that out. I definitely remember there being a big "thing" about it at the time.

Yes it is 8 in Scotland. I knew as a child at 8 that this was the age of criminal responsibility.
The trouble with increasing the age is that it leaves the police totally unable to deal with kids with a long history of crime.
Also brain development research shows how the brain develops. There is no research at all to show the impact this actually has on children in real life.

And the children in the Bulger case should never have been tried in an adult court. That was a travesty.

I'm sorry but I think it's being a 'bully' to think it's a nice thing to leave one child out, cruel actually.

This post just raised a red flag. Your son is telling you this boy is a 'bully' yet he is inviting everyone but one to his party? Bullying behaviour to me!

cheesemumma

It's not bullying- it's a natural consequence.

Say you were being bullied at work. You get on with all the other staff members in your team really well. Except this one person who makes your life a misery.
You have a party at home.
Do you invite the bully?

Of course not.

I don't see why things should be any different for children.

@speakout yes- I would agree, if they are a bully, I can understand that view point, even if I don't agree, as I try to teach my children to be the better person and practice kindness.

My point is parents, understandably, always assume their students are telling the total truth. As a teacher, and someone who was bullied school, I know that this is not always the truth. I have had parents in many times accusing other pupils of 'bullying' their child. When actually,often, it's the other way round or a friendship issue/ argument etc, which is a VERY different thing to bullying. Bullying is horrendous and should be dealt with effectively, not by leaving a CHILD out of a party.

I think that’s be really unkind actually speakout. Excluding just one person IS bullying.

@cheesemumma I understand what you're saying but I think if this was the case the school would have picked on that if I hadn't, the other child would have told them. Infact I didn't even use the word "bully" in my post but I do believe he is bullying DS. He's been picking on DS constantly since they met in preschool and it's only gotten worse through the years maybe if it was something more recent I would probably question the situation more but it's been going on so long and I've yet to hear about DS doing anything to him

@sherbetty If your son is being truly bullied - persistently targeted to be purposefully humiliated and upset by this boy- then I hope you will take further action with the school as I am one who knows, true bullying can have lasting effects and I hope your son finds some relief from it.

However, I still stand by my point that I think it is cruel to leave a child out. But obviously you have written you are choosing a kinder option, which is admirable. I don't think it's pandering to bullies. I'm sure he'll still have a wonderful time, but also what a great lesson to teach kids- kindness no matter what.

As a parent, if is damaging to give the message to your child that he should include his tormentor in his birthday celebrations. It's like saying that his feelings trump those of your son. You might as well invite the boy into your home.
I'm sure you bring up your son to be kind and inclusive the whole rest of the year!
So let him enjoy his party in peace, and forget the PC brigade.
The boy forfeited his right to an invitation when he pelted your son with stones.