"In fact I would try to act like a person nobody misses after their death" er... Don't be too hasty!
In detective shows the person everyone hates and who is shit to everyone is the first victim always! Because there's loads of suspects then cos everyone wants them dead.
It's a balance you can't be too nice OR too nasty (both extremes also likely to be 'prime suspect' if not the victim - so the audience goes 'not them they're too nice it'd be too big a twist' 'not them it's too obvious to make it the nasty person')
Never say "what are you doing here?l" it immediate precedes your murder by surprise visitor!
"Never use elaborate methods to murder secret agents. It just gives them time to escape.
Just shoot them." Haha yes!!
Never interrupt someone who says "I have something really important to tell you..." Because at best it'll save you embarrassment (you're about to tell them you love them they're about to tell you they're marrying someone else) at worst it could be life saving facts!
Never say anything like "everything's going so well right now, love my job, relationships grand, everyone I love is healthy" it'll all go tits up!
Never wear a uniform with a red shirt (Star Trek)
"If you have a choice of uniform colours, don't pick the red." Great minds - wrote before I saw your comment.
"Wear a red top.
[Looks at current outfit]
Balls." 😂😂😂there's way too many of us know this rule!
If you have a long lost relative assume it could literally be anyone you already know (and probably hate!)
AS SOON as you hide from the villain/s bloody well put your phone on SILENT and I mean PROPER silent not vibrate and darken the screen.
"If you get out of the killers/kidnappers den. Get your shit together, actually speak to the people who have picked you up on the road, not go into hysterics. Tell them to just drive whilst calling the Police." But if your captors wore masks etc and you're in middle of nowhere DON'T accept a lift - that nice person will turn out to be your captor or worse usually - the real villain behind it all (spoiler alert Ransom with Gary sinise as the cop investigating the kidnapping being the mastermind behind it was a HUGE twist at the time. Very disturbing how the reveal was made)
Never laugh publicly at the dork you'd never date when they ask you out - they'll either become an obsessed stalker or have a makeover, make you fall in love with them then dump you in the most public, humiliating way
Never use stairs in early pregnancy - you will fall down them causing a mc (even though this is medical bollocks!)
"Never pretend type as you will look so unconvincing that you will be sacked by the end of the day." Can I PLEASE add use a switchboard or even bloody googling to this! NOBODY gets the exact result they want as first result on a ONE WORD SEARCH ffs!
Never divulge a secret in a "private" place without first sweeping for bugs and employing a phone signal jammer and taking the person your tellings phone off them and turning it off! Paranoid? It's a skill of survival!
Never agree to partner the "Maverick" whatever - it's not even just cops! RIP goose 😪 the nice partner always gets dead!
"Never, ever stick to any workplace rules unless it involves something cool like showing a shiny badge or wearing a hot uniform. God forbid you comply with the Working Time Directive or complete adequate notes for your colleagues or change the department answerphone message before you dash out for an extended 24 hour absence running after the villain." Even more infuriating when the actors are meant to be in a profession! As you can see I'm up v late often, I've watched too many times a "behind the scenes" clip interviewing the guy who was the medical advisor for silent witness. He tells a story of when he was first a technical advisor on a medical show, they're all angsting why the patient hooked up to the enviable, state of the art equipment isn't getting better - his thought "well it might help if you switched it on!" 😂😂😂 as an ex nurse I've lost count of back to front X Ray's, healthy cardiographs declared indicating imminent death, wrongly placed/set up iv tubes etc, hell even little things like how beds are moved! - don't even get me started on patients having conditions that wouldn't have gone undx so long as is made out without them dying first!
This whole thread is making me think of Scream!
"some big-breasted girl who can't act who is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door. It's insulting." Which is then precisely what Sidney does
Never say "I'll be right back"
"There's a formula to it—a very simple formula!" 😂😂😂
"If you kill the bad guy, don’t just breathe a sigh of relief, relax and assume they’re actually dead. Either run off and call the police or make sure you do the killing properly." Also covered in the Scream franchise - they're never really dead till you killed em at least twice!
Final destination movies also good for the "spot the disaster about to happen" people.
What I WOULD do? LISTEN to the seemingly crazy person telling you
There's a new ice age coming INSTANTLY
There's a bomb
They're from the future and they need your help
They have magical/superhuman powers
There's someone out to get you!
They're your long lost relative.
"Never be fat, they always die first." I'm screwed! Short, fat, female and grey! "Marian Keyes fans will get this" yep!
"We play ‘spot the stiff’ a lot." I am SO stealing this to play with dd - we mainly watch horrors and thrillers together as have different taste in comedy and drama.
"Keep quiet and let him try to prove it in court, with NO evidence." Omg yes! There's very rarely decent evidence AND even if there is Its contaminated because Jessica fletcher or poirot or whoever has handled it and they're not authorised and didn't use gloves!
"Always listen to the music." Iirc (from my "Mickey Mouse" uni course on film studies) there was an experiment done on this - male feet approaching female feet (so no facial expressions or other body language to go on)
light piano music = romantic assignation
dark cello music = he's gonna kill her!
If you're an addict could go one of 2 ways - death or cured by ONE visit to AA!
"I WILL however wear a white shirt. They always seem impervious to dirt." Unless you're John mcclane of course.
"On a more positive note I wish it was normal to sing your thoughts and feelings." I'd LOVE this!
"your job involves chasing and detaining criminals. Be sure never to wear comfortable shoes, trousers, a long sleeved top of loose fitting clothes." I loved rizzoli & Isles for this. Jane wore practical "pantsuits" and low heeled boots and often had her hair tied up. No female copper in real life I know farts about with loose hair, long earrings, skirts/dresses and heels!
"If you are a black man who’s going to hang around then you need to be the chief of police. An angry one." I think Eddie murphys boss in Beverly Hills 2 would beg to differ (trivia: not an actor a real cop)