Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that a 50 year old man.

203 replies

onlinedating2019 · 08/01/2019 08:01

AIBU to think that a 50 year old man who sets his OLD profile to looking for a woman between 27-50 (amd specifies she must be slim) isn’t looking for a woman towards the top end of the age range?

*He is very attractive going by his profile picture.

OP posts:
Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 09/01/2019 21:27

I'd find that creepy. But then there are women who look waay younger than they are so could probably get away with lying about their age and saying they are that young when they're closer to his age.
The idea of someone my age(wrong side of 35) dating a man who wasn't born yet when she was still at school/only just in her last years of school I find gross nowadays.
Anything 10+ years younger ugh no!

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 09/01/2019 21:29

Imho dating websites I find not far off the concept of paying for sex. Free to look around but anything further you pay for it...nope. But I guess you end up paying for it in the end anyways one way or another!!!! Grin

Wordthe · 09/01/2019 21:34

Only way a 50-year-old man can get attractive young woman to sleep with him is if he pays them

Habadabadoo · 09/01/2019 21:38

@TheDowagerCuntess that link is hilarious! And I want a bum Kline that when I'm 52! Toddles off to the gym...

Wordthe · 09/01/2019 21:52

a 50 year old Cindy Crawford look alike can probably have her pick of hot fit younger men

why would she want a 50 year-old dad bod bloke?

Catsinthecupboard · 10/01/2019 00:37

I am middle 50s woman. I always thought that old men and younger women were creepy. Both my mother and grandmother had older husbands and they had drawbacks bc they always "had already done that."

However, i think that i kinda understand now bc i am getting older and i find the energy of younger people attractive. Unfortunately, many people my age are old in their minds and I am not.

I can't think that anyone younger would be attracted to me :/ . But i am not as judgemental as i was before bc i hate growing old and i find younger people interesting.

On the other hand, as dd is a young adult, if an older man was interested in her. I would be suspicious bc she's not very mature. I can't imagine their conversations.

TheLittleDogLaughed · 10/01/2019 06:15

I met DH online when I was 45 and he was 56. He had set his age limit to 45-60 I remember because I just scraped through. Honestly if he’d put it at 27 lowest I probably wouldn’t have bothered talking to him.

SuperSue77 · 10/01/2019 09:24

I don't find it odd but then my husband is 14 yrs older than me. He was 44 when we met and looking for a life partner. He expected to meet someone more his age and nearly wrote me off as too young when he met me, at 30 I was about the youngest he would have felt he could date. He's dated women more his own age previously but we met and hit it off and within a year we were married and now 10 years later we have 3 children (and very happily married).

At 30 I had reached the age where I wanted to marry and start a family and the guys I was meeting of my own age weren't quite there (though I know plenty who do this, I must have been meeting the wrong guys!). So it could be that this guy online is just looking for a kindred spirit to grow old with and doesn't want to risk missing out on a lovely lady by making his online dating filters too restrictive.

ralfeesmum · 10/01/2019 10:17

Older guys who specify a potential partner has to be at least a generation younger are clearly thinking of someone to wait on them hand and foot in their old age.

Yeah, that's a BIG attraction for a woman in her twenties/thirties. Not.

onegiftedgal · 10/01/2019 11:06

I really don't think that 50 is old especially if he is fit and healthy.
He may want to settle down and still want children. Why do people get so hung up on age? At 27 you are not exactly a young girl anymore.

BarbaraofSevillle · 10/01/2019 11:15

But at 50 he is likely to be closer in age to a 27 YOs Dad than her. That's odd in itself.

And when she's 40, he'll be in his early 60s and beyond then, if you're talking about looking for marriage at some point you'll have a young-ish middle aged woman with a pensioner DH with failing health, frailty and increasing likelihood of becoming a widow. That in itself is an argument for couples to be closer in age to each other.

user1490465531 · 10/01/2019 11:29

The sad fact is a lot of young women would consider him they often have daddy issues.

Wordthe · 10/01/2019 12:04

Can you clarify what you mean by daddy issues?

Wordthe · 10/01/2019 12:05

If I was a 27 year old who wanted children I would want healthy young sperm
not 50-year-old sperm

IcedPurple · 10/01/2019 12:23

I really don't think that 50 is old especially if he is fit and healthy.

To a young woman, a 50 year old - no matter how 'fit and healthy' - really is old. When I was that age, even a handsome, fit 40 year old would have seemed ancient to me.

He may want to settle down and still want children.

He may, but just as we constantly warn women about the dangers of 'leaving it too late', men should know that they can't just turn around in their 50s and except attractive young women to want to start families with them. Why would they, when they can have attractive young men?

Why do people get so hung up on age?

I don't see how not wanting a partner who is close to your father's age is being 'hung up on age'. And since it's usually men who say they will only date women much younger than them, surely your comment should be directed at them?

SuperSue77 · 10/01/2019 13:48

Just to add to my post about my husband who is 14 yrs older than me, we got pregnant on the first attempt both times, the second time round we had twins. He is fit and healthy and we've never had any issues with our sex life, at 55 I don't notice any difference to when he was 44 (though we don't have as much energy or time for it with 3 children around) and he has more energy than some of the younger guys I dated before I met him. So it really is down to the individual person. Brad Pitt is 55 and George Clooney 57 and I bet plenty of younger woman would fancy them even without their cash.

IcedPurple · 10/01/2019 13:55

Brad Pitt is 55 and George Clooney 57 and I bet plenty of younger woman would fancy them even without their cash.

So what? Julianne Moore is 58 and Monica Bellucci is 54 and I bet plenty of younger men would fancy them even without their cash.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 10/01/2019 14:05

Older guys who specify a potential partner has to be at least a generation younger are clearly thinking of someone to wait on them hand and foot in their old age.

This would be my concern if DD ( only 13 right now Grin) had a future relationship with a much older man. It would be fine for a while, but now I'm seeing my friends in their 40s/50s with older partners dealing with an increasingly obvious age gap.

Their partners in their 60s seem really old now, even though many are physically fit and I can see things getting harder in the next decade. DH and I are both in our 40s and have all sorts of plans for our 50s - OK,, it may not work out, but I hope we'll enjoy our late middle age doing things together, rather than one of us stepping into a caring role. We'll have to see!

stevie69 · 10/01/2019 14:16

Half your age + 7 is the unwritten rule.

Well, as a 51 year old woman, my unwritten rule is 18+. You're an adult and you don't need your mother's permission (much as she'd like to think you do) Blush

AlaskanOilBaron · 10/01/2019 14:22

Grim. Why are men so stupid?

Oakenbeach · 10/01/2019 14:30

So he wants to date women between 27 and 50... It’s a free country and surely it’s up to him who he is willing to date. Maybe it’s unlikely a 27 yo would be interested - what’s wrong in my trying?

This attempt to make dating ‘equal opportunities’ is ridiculous, shaming those who are honest and express what they actually would like, and I’m assuming peddled by jealous older women (and men in other contexts)

And also, what’s creepy about it. A 27 yo is a fully mature adult woman - probably the least weird and most normal of any sexual preference!

Oakenbeach · 10/01/2019 14:31

In him trying!!

IcedPurple · 10/01/2019 14:33

jealous older women
I'd be genuinely interested to know who, or what, we 'older women' are supposed to be jealous of.

AlaskanOilBaron · 10/01/2019 14:44

This attempt to make dating ‘equal opportunities’ is ridiculous, shaming those who are honest and express what they actually would like, and I’m assuming peddled by jealous older women (and men in other contexts)

I'm not jealous. I'm also old enough to know that when someone's argument rests on jealousy, there's rarely any point in disabusing them.

IcedPurple · 10/01/2019 14:47

I'm not jealous. I'm also old enough to know that when someone's argument rests on jealousy, there's rarely any point in disabusing them.

So true. The more you deny it, the more they'll tell you that no, deep down you really are eaten up inside that 50 year old blokes on the web are chasing young women who are laughing at them.