AIBU to think that a 50 year old man.

[onlinedating2019]

AIBU to think that a 50 year old man who sets his OLD profile to looking for a woman between 27-50 (amd specifies she must be slim) isn’t looking for a woman towards the top end of the age range?

*He is very attractive going by his profile picture.

I don't think specifying slim is awful or anything reprehensible. I didn't get a second date with a very nice man because he preferred larger women (and I'm size 14 so not like I'm a stick). I was a bit annoyed to be honest as my pictures didn't lie

What with finding out younger men could find middle aged women attractive I've really had my eyes opened to the fact that there's a huge amount of preferences out there, for all shapes and sizes and preferences are what they are, it's not really possible to un-prefer something. At least with honesty upfront you're not wasting anyone elses time.

Trouble is, preferences can turn out to be (or turn into) bias after all. I do think that it's a good idea to think out of the box sometimes - I've dated people lately that I wouldn't have in the past, and have been very pleasantly surprised.

Still cannot bring myself to consider a man with a moustache (and no beard), though! Sometimes it just sits too deep.

The PP who thought ageing sperm might be a problem is right
theconversation.com/declining-sperm-quality-in-older-men-puts-the-issue-at-the-centre-of-fertility-debate-43752

I'm genuinely interested since, genetic problems and failing fertility aside, what does a 25 year old (any sex) talk to a 50 year old (any sex) about? I can imagine those with huge passions like science, sport, chess, birding, literature, art, gardening, music etc being able to bond over it and the generational issue wouldn't matter. But am I wrong in thinking most people don't have that driving commitment? So you are left with someone who doesn't share your history - "Love the BeeGees/Lou Reed/Dire Straits" "Who they?" "Bloody Thatcher/Callaghan" "Who they?" So while sex is a huge driver, what do you do when it's done?

Same sort of thing that people from different cultures talk about. "Do you like Udo Lindenberg?" "Who's that, play me some of his music and let's see!" "Bloody Kaiser Wilhelm" - "What was so bad about him?"

And my son is 19 but I still manage to have a conversation with her, he's not from another planet 😂

he wants to look like he would date someone his own age when actually he wants someone half his age.

This x 10

He’s looking for a woman he fancies, age no problem. He wouldn’t know if a woman was older.

because its not about the age gap but the fact he will date someone 22 years younger than him but not 1 year older.

My thoughts exactly. This 50 year old bloke i's soooo broad minded about age that he'd deign to date/shag a 27 year old but not a 52 year old woman.

Whatevs, grandPAW.

I think the pp who said he probably has a 26yo daughter, hence the 27 - 50 age range is right. He's really looking for a slender woman in her late 20's, but unless he's George Clooney, that ain't gonna happen.

He's really looking for a slender woman in her late 20's, but unless he's George Clooney, that ain't gonna happen.

Even George Clooney could be said to have had more realistic expectations when it came to looking for a life partner - Amal was 36 when he first set his sights on her!

Hope he is rich - lol! Twat

And my son is 19 but I still manage to have a conversation with her, he's not from another planet

Would you consider dating one of his college mates though?

The thing is fancying someone is just such a personal preference. Whether that’s slim / or not / tattoos or not / older or younger / bald or hair / natural look or loads of make up or inbetween etc etc. Everyone has an idea of what they find attractive and sexy. And that’s okay because everyone does find different things sexy, it would be boring if we didn’t.

My dh is very tall, very skinny, wears women’s skinny jeans because he’s into that whole punk / rock look and is absolutely covered in tattoos. I find him incredibly sexy and I’m not anything like him at all - I’m a slightly chubby, middle aged divorced mum (or was when I met him!) and I don’t really care about clothes / fashion on myself, just not my thing. Luckily and oddly enough I seemed right up his street and we clicked and fancied each other. I do think other people wouldn’t fancy either of us at all and that’s fine!

I think people get incredibly judgey about anyone that says they fancy a particular look / age or whatever else. It really doesn’t matter, there’s enough fish in the sea! My mum is 70 and fancies younger men. She is very young for her age and wouldn’t dream of dating anyone 65 plus. She often gets messages from men in their 30s and 40s - she is honest about her age!

My worry though, is that as someone closer to the upper scale than lower, that I just wouldn’t cut the mustard. I think after reading that he’d go as low as late-20s, he’d be used to those late 20s bodies and faces! I’m slim and toned, but I’ve also had DC and I’m not perfect! My guess is that lots of 20-somethings are pretty close

Then just don't try to date him OP???

I think after reading that he’d go as low as late-20s, he’d be used to those late 20s bodies and faces!

Lol I doubt it! The reality is that unless he's got something special to offer, a 50 year old man isn't going to have hot young women queueing up for him. He may want to date hot young things, but then I might want to date Aidan Turner. Doesn't mean it's going to happen.

Anyway, if you're interested in him despite all that, why not meet up with him and see if either of you want to take it further? Can't really hurt, can it? Plenty of other men out there.

Would you consider dating one of his college mates though?
I was answering crosstalk, who was wondering what two people of different ages could possibly talk about. Of course people of different ages can talk.

I was answering crosstalk, who was wondering what two people of different ages could possibly talk about. Of course people of different ages can talk.

Well yes, but the context was a relationship with someone decades younger. I work in a university and of course I can find things to talk about with the students on a certain level, but if I were to go out with one of them (yikes!) I'd imagine the conversation topics would dry up pretty quickly.

I think some of you are being massively judgemental. 50 is no great age and it hardly makes him an old pervert to want to date someone younger - it isn’t like he’s trying to chat up young girls at bus stops!

Perhaps he’d like to have children or maybe he doesn’t want the baggage of ex husbands and step children? Either way it’s his preference, and it’s not illegal , so let him get on with it.

FWIW DH is much older than me and he is neither stinking rich nor a pervert, in fact it was me who pursued him!

I don’t think it will mean he’s used to dating younger women, he’s just happy to date any age? I’m sure most 50 year old men would love to date a lady in their late 20’s but the reality of it happening is pretty slim. I wouldn’t feel uneasy dating someone who has such a huge age range on their profile. I’m happy to date older and younger, if I was to enter a relationship with a older person it doesn’t mean I am going to compare him with the younger guys I have dated?

Not really creepy. I wouldn't date some one younger so I'm searching for some one I would put 33 to 47

They just put it on his profile.

Perhaps he’d like to have children or maybe he doesn’t want the baggage of ex husbands and step children?

Of course, most young women are unlikely to want someone else's 'baggage' either, and since he's in his 50s, chances are he's accumulated quite a bit of it.

@IcedPurple

Not necessarily. We don’t know anything about this man. He may never have been married or had children, hence why he may be looking for it now.

Not necessarily. We don’t know anything about this man. He may never have been married or had children, hence why he may be looking for it now.

"Baggage" doesn't only consist of kids and ex-spouses though. I'm nearly 50 and I've never been married or had kids, but I've amassed quite a bit of "baggage" too. Most young women - and men - want to start afresh with someone close to their own age. Yes, of course there will always be exceptions, but the reality is that the supply of middle-aged men in search of young women greatly exceeds the demand, and it's not very likely that he'll be inundated with responses. But if he wants to take his chances with all the other 50 somethings, that's up to him.

I agree that Men like him are arseholes.

But it's really insulting to those of us who've had big age gap relationships, to say we were after money. My DH didn't have any.

As for topics of conversation, our love of History, Architecture, Politics, Human Rights (we met in the 80's), topics in the News, environmental issues, just off the top of my head, gave us lots to talk about.

Then we did all the usual, house hunting, babies etc.

From what I read on here there many people who don't talk much to their, similar age, Partners before moving in. Unless they are too busy talking about music that they listened to as a Teen to talk about important stuff.

I used to watch the program, Dinner Date. The Men were always older than the Women, even though the Women looked younger, were more energetic and had a lot more about them.

When I was a daily gym goer/lifting weights, I joined Old, at 47. I'm very attractive, but I only got messages from Men, who thought I should be grateful of their time, Foreigners, you ger Men wanting just sex. The Men who wanted to actually date were all around 12 years older.