AIBU to think that a 50 year old man.

[onlinedating2019]

AIBU to think that a 50 year old man who sets his OLD profile to looking for a woman between 27-50 (amd specifies she must be slim) isn’t looking for a woman towards the top end of the age range?

*He is very attractive going by his profile picture.

Maybe he just want someone to look after him in his old age? Maybe he’s had a wife die on him already. Maybe he’s just a bit immature and can’t get on with women his age. To be fair if I were fifty and could find an attractive 27 year old to bonk with I probably would.

*yes, I really don’t think it’s about him wanting someone to fulfill a need rather than a genuine attempt to find love

When I was on- line dating, there was a guy (40) who put seeking age-range 30-50.
Right-on! I thought. Nice Open minded fella!

I met him- yup...he’d lied about his age and was over 50 himself.

You're not comparing like with like though as presumably when you met your H he wasn't proclaiming that he wouldn't date anybody his own age. Presumably he wasn't saying he prefered Asian and Korean women. There's no need to confuse things by being offended.

It's one thing wanting to date an older man when ''older'' is 42 but when you're 48 would you still want / choose rather, to date a man of 60 and surely he'd rule himself out if he had like a manifesto of never dating women his own age or finding them unlovable! There's no need to be offended! It just confuses the point.

On dinner date, I bet the producers set them up like thar.

To be fair if I were fifty and could find an attractive 27 year old to bonk with I probably would.

From what I can gather (!) a well-preserved woman in her 40s or 50s would have little trouble finding "an attractive 27 year old to bonk".

The reverse? Not so much.

MoonSafarix, my point about some of the comments being insulting was those posters who were listing older Men with younger Wives and then making the point that they are all rich and that was the attraction.

Maybe he just want someone to look after him in his old age? Maybe he’s had a wife die on him already. Maybe he’s just a bit immature and can’t get on with women his age.

He sounds like a catch.

those posters who were listing older Men with younger Wives and then making the point that they are all rich and that was the attraction.

Well, in the lists given, money/fame probably was a large part of the attraction.

Among ordinary folks, it's pretty rare to see men in their 50s with much younger wives. Yes, it happens, but statistically it's quite unusual. Whereas among the super-rich/Hollywood types, it's almost the norm. Increasingly, that's also the case for women. Many celebrity women - Madonna, Sharon Stone, Demi Moore, Susan Sarandon etc - prefer much younger men.

Of course, not everyone who's with a much older partner is with them for their money or status. But it is a fact that the richer the man (or woman) the higher the chances of them being with a much younger partner.

I know it happens ocassionally but tbh it drives me mad the way you can't make the point that it is a TRANSACTION to these men even if they're not conscious enough to understand that without somebody ambling on to the thread to say ''DH is 16 years older than I am and we're really happy'' but it'll have turned out they met years ago, at work, just totally different. Wouldn't be for me but i acknowledge that it's different. But the determination to take offence railroads the discussion! At the expense of women.

I think he is just hedging his bets. He really wants to go out with a gorgeous 27 year old, but if a 50 year old Cindy Crawford lookalike replied he wouldn't say no.

I had this only today on OLD...a man messaging me, saying how witty he was (?) and requesting a witty response. His profile said he was looking for women aged 25-40. He is 51, I’m 58. So my “witty response” was to say sorry, I was obviously too young for him . He didn’t get it! I explained. He’s now changed his age range to 35-60. Good luck to him but not for me (for other reasons too).

I don't know a single woman under 30 who would look TWICE at a man of 50, and would wretch at the thought of dating/snogging/shagging one. Most women this age have a dad who is that age.

Many middle aged (45-55 y.o.) men are deluded, and see themselves as some kind of sexy, wise, attractive 'mature' man that every young, pretty, firm, fit, young 20-something will be desperate to date. Wrong. The vast majority of young women under 30, do NOT want to date someone as old as their dad, and they think these men are incredibly sad and deluded and desperate.

Moreover, they don't want to be a carer to a pensioner, by the time they're 40-45!

Also, the vast majority of men over 50 are not all that. Indeed, I see more WOMEN over 50 who look good than men who do. The days of men ageing better than women are over, and in many middle aged (and older) couples I know, who have been together 30+ years, the man does not look any better than the woman.

I also think that most middle aged single men are a bit tragic. (Unless they are widowed.) Thing is, most single, middle aged men I have known, EITHER are so awful that they have never managed to get a woman to marry him, OR they were in a marriage where the wife dumped him, or he left her for another woman, and SHE dumped him.

Men rarely leave their wife (or partner) without someone else to go to; so most middle aged single men (not widowed!) are someone no woman ever wanted to marry - OR they are some other woman's cast off.

A middle aged cast off who is desperate for a 25 y.o. Holly Willoughby lookalike. PMSL! You do have to laugh!!!

Oh Winterfell, that made me laugh

It's funny 'cos it's true....

Yes Winter, that is exactly it. 🎯

Money may be the drawcard in celebrity / high profile age gap relationships, but it's usually something else at play when it comes to mere mortals / regular people.

There is often a power imbalance at play in relationships where the man is much older. Some men seek younger women for very specific reasons, and some younger women are susceptible for equally specific reasons.

I'm not saying that's always the case, but it undeniably often is. You see it on here - women posting about an emotionally abusive partner, people asking how old he is, and often he's (surprise, surprise) significantly older.

Of course, there are example of people in age-gap relationships who got together organically, have much in common and are happy. But I freely admit, my default position is to judge. Everyone I know, across the generations, seems to have partnered up with someone their own age.

Gosh thanks.

@WinterfellWench

Many middle aged (45-55 y.o.) men are deluded, and see themselves as some kind of sexy, wise, attractive 'mature' man that every young, pretty, firm, fit, young 20-something will be desperate to date. Wrong. The vast majority of young women under 30, do NOT want to date someone as old as their dad, and they think these men are incredibly sad and deluded and desperate.

Ain't that the truth.... They all think they're a sophisticated silver fox when actually they're just a middle-aged divorced dad who has to schedule his dates around his child-care arrangements. How appealing to an attractive young woman eh?

The days of men ageing better than women are over, and in many middle aged (and older) couples I know, who have been together 30+ years, the man does not look any better than the woman.

I'm not sure there have ever been days when men aged better than women... except inside men's heads! I know tons of women my age - late 40s - who are attractive and well-groomed, but hardly any men. I think this is mostly because we women have 'the horrors of aging' drilled into our heads from when we're young, and so take care to maintain ourselves as we get older. Men, however, convince themselves that looks don't matter if you're a bloke (ha!) so provided they have a 2 bed semi-D in Nuneaton, the chicks will come running.

But they don't.

Oh Iced

So your choices when OLD seem to be

A) shag an older Jeremy clarkson type who would actually prefer a 27 year old, or

B). Shag a younger bloke who appreciates the experience of a woman 40+

Tough one

I think he is just hedging his bets. He really wants to go out with a gorgeous 27 year old, but if a 50 year old Cindy Crawford lookalike replied he wouldn't say no.

^ 100% this!!!

Avoid him like the plague!! He won't get either! Bless 'im.

Ladies, I haven’t been completely honest on this thread as I wanted honest answers!

I know him well and he’s asked me out irl! Then I searched him online and saw that.

He’s very physically attractive, is quite well off and has a good job. But he’s never been married/ had children, his ex partner left him and he’s told me irl he’s been struggling to meet someone for years! Can’t find anyone who meets his ‘standards’ - I know I know

For full disclosure, he also has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder which is now under control, but he has experienced what he describes as ‘psychotic’ incidents in the past, most recently 2016. That didn’t put me off, but the OLD age range has massively put me off! I’m not sure what that says about me though

OK lemme see.......

History of mental illness?

Wants a much younger woman?

Can't find a partner despite his supposed good looks and financial stability?

Maybe it's just me, but I'm not quite getting what is so attractive about this man?

I have been wondering why he’s still single for the last two years that we’ve known each other! I think I’m beginning to form a clearer picture

Ladies, I haven’t been completely honest on this thread as I wanted honest answers!

We're not all ladies on MN...