AIBU to think that a 50 year old man.

[onlinedating2019]

AIBU to think that a 50 year old man who sets his OLD profile to looking for a woman between 27-50 (amd specifies she must be slim) isn’t looking for a woman towards the top end of the age range?

*He is very attractive going by his profile picture.

What I don’t understand is why set the upper limit to 50, if he’s really wanting the twenty-somethings? Why not just cap it at 35.

27 - 35 says ‘Very specifically looking for a younger woman’. 27 - 50 says ‘Open to younger women but age not my primary consideration’. You may be right that he swipes left on anyone over 40 - but he wouldn’t necessarily want to TELL people that.

"I can think of lots of creepy reasons for a 50 year old man to only date younger women and few good ones."

Creepy? Really? Aren't you an arse.

Maybe he does ignore anyone over 40 but wants to hide that. But maybe the reason is he wants children so realistically he has to be looking for a younger woman.

What's creepy and grim about it? I think a 27 year old woman dating a 50 year old man is perfectly healthy and acceptable.

You know full well how supportive this site would be of a 50 year old woman dating a 27 year old man.

The point of O.L.D is you can state clearly what you are looking for, to prevent wasting anyones time.

A woman in their 20s would only date a man in his 50s if he was stinking rich and shed be just using him for his money.

There was an age difference thread recently where lots of women posted about being happy with an older partner. My partner is 13 years older

Funny that. Many of them posting about being happy with a much younger partner?

A 50 year old man wanting a woman in their late 20s is basically a dirty old get.

@TheDowagerCuntess yes there were some women posting about being happy with a much younger partner.

I know it's not fair and as a woman in her 50s I'd very much be on his "eeuugh" list. But... biology is biology. And men have always married younger - in some cases, much younger - women, simply because they can as they are still able to have a family. And in the past this worked to a young woman's advantage. An older man would be financially sorted with property and able to support her.

If we're being honest, most older women and men are not that attractive (at face value: when you get to know people of course you can see past superficial looks). We've all developed wrinkles, saggy bits, wobbly bits - that's life. There are obvious exceptions - but they are exceptions and of course celebrities/film stars etc have had a bit of help and are always photographed through a pair of 60 denier tights.

What about the French author who suggests it's impossible to love a woman older than 50? On BBC website ATM... I was [shocked] but not really surprised.

...

My Grandma is 73 (doesn’t look it) and says she doesn’t date men her age because they look like they’ve been dug up and want too much mothering/ looking after.

AIBU to think that a 50 year old man who sets his OLD profile to looking for a woman between 27-50 (amd specifies she must be slim) isn’t looking for a woman towards the top end of the age range?

I think he's open to offers. Men, regardless of their own age, would ideally like to shag a 22-year-old supermodel. But they'll take what they can get. So whether he's worth pursuing probably depends on how many attractive 27-year-olds are going to be elbowing you out of the way. I would guess not that many.

The BBC reported it a bit wrong. Actually he was just talking about fancying women, not loving them - he said that women over 50 were invisible to him, and he preferred younger women's bodies.

Personally I can't wait until this July, when I will finally become invisible to him and his ilk. No more flashers! Yay!

(he was just talking about fancying women = the French author)

Then why didn't you say, 'there was a thread where lots of women posted about being happy with age-gap partners? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Because the age gap invariably seems to go one way, that's why.

I've always made it a rule never to date someone young enough that I could have given birth to them, legally or not

I thought that science had shown that sperm quality deteriorates as men get older (and I read the other day that new research has found that poor quality sperm play a much larger role in miscarriages than previously thought) so maybe that fictional 27 year old woman should avoid that 50 year old man if she wants children?

OP I agree, I think the man is hoping no women over about 30 will respond but aren't you tempted to contact him just to see his reaction?

There is an age related deterioration in sperm yes - less marked than eggs but definitely there - couple with some older men also faltering at the delivery stage too . I’ve always liked men around 30 -35 ..... still do even though am well over 35 now :)

I’m 27 though and wouldn’t go near a 50 year old man ( my dads age!!). Who wants to be tied to an ex wife and step kids in your twenties. Even if he is rich!

Indeed - perfect peony quite agree that wouldn’t be for all .

It isn't the age gap, it the refusal to even consider anyone just one year older. And if you consider that most people OLD lie about their age, he's probably 5 years older (at best).

I find it grim that he's ruling out all the perfectly normal women of the kind that all his friends and family are probably happily married to.

On the other hand my profile is set to 7 years older and younger (I'm 53 and NOT lying about my age) and I cannot tell you the number of men in their 20's and 30's that have a go. I would be flattered but I suspect they think I'll be a pushover and be grateful, which isn't an appealing propect.

My rule of thumb is that if they can't remember the Sweeney then they're too young for me (and it doesn't count if their mum has told them all about it)

What about the French author who suggests it's impossible to love a woman older than 50?

Well he was talking about himself, not saying it was impossible in general or for everyone! I doubt anyone is too heartbroken about that silly twerp anyway.

I don’t have a problem with people stating a preference. Not saying it doesn’t mean they don’t think it.

My friend used to work for an off line dating agency years ago. SHe said it was stratling how often the men a) thought they looked 10 years younger than their age b) approached it like a kid in a sweet shop "I have one of those and one of those and one of those" with no thought to what was realistic.

The women on the whole were apparently much more realistic. The men apparently get more realistic over time...

The whole point of dating is that you can date whoever you like. 27 years old is still a fully mature woman. What’s wrong with that?!

I am 38 and happily married now but I did online dating for a while (where I met younger dh) and there’s no way I would have fancied anyone my own age. Shallow maybe, but that’s just life. We all fancy who we fancy and luckily there are enough people who fancy either older or younger people to make the world go round!