Aibu thinking my parents should pay

[PigsInSlankets]

For themselves on my birthday? I don't expect them to fork out on my dinner or my dh/dc. But its a 'milestone' birthday and I don't think it's fair to expect me to pay for themselves and their families.

Attending are myself, DD, DH.
My DMis bringing 2 DBros and DGM
My DF is bringing DSM, 2DBros and 1DSis.

They suggested going for dinner to celebrate, and now they've both said they're unwilling to pay. It's been booked for months and they've told me they don't want to pay when it's only 2 weeks away.

YANBU

They've actually said that? 😮

I'd be very hurt, but would just cancel.

Cancel. I wouldn’t expect to pay, especially as you didn’t arrange or suggest it in the first place.

It’s quite a mean thing to do.

I’d expect everyone to pay for themselves.

Cancel it, the sting bastards! Tell them you weren’t expecting to pay for their company!

Just cancel and go out with your immediate family

Awful behaviour, are they usually tightfisted?

Cancel their bookings and go without them, fucking hell!

What a bloody joke these people are.

Cancel & celebrate in your own way.

These things are always more hassle than they are worth. The more people you involve in anything the more likely it is that some will act like total weirdos.

Just say ‘grand, would have been lovely to have had you there but I’ll ring and rebook so as not to inconvenience the restaurant’

Cheeky buggers.

They want you to pay for 9 family members? At your own birthday dinner? Is this a thing? I have a huge family, I'd be eating dust for the rest of the month if I had to do this

Personally I would send a message with whilst the meal is to celebrate my birthday everyone is expected to pay for their own meals. Can you please let me know by x date next week if you will be coming or not so that I can amend the booking with the restaurant if you are not wanting to attend.

They should be paying for you!

Luckily they told you beforehand. Cancel it and go out with your husband.

No brained - cancel and have nice meal with just your immediate family.

I’d also book a different restaurant now as well. So rude!

Just cancel and go out with your immediate family
^This

If you'd invited them then I would have expected you to pay unless it had been agreed otherwise from the start.
Given that they suggested it, then no, it's everyone pay their own way. That's an awful lot of people that you are being expected to fund.

What day is your actual birthday? Is it the same day as the meal?

I'd go out with my own little family and, if you wanted, invite the rest of them for a birthday tea the next weekend although I'm not sure I'd want to after this. Maybe something simple - sandwiches, crisps and a birthday cake. Or even just tea and cake.

Happy Birthday 🥂🍾

Tell them its cancelled and you are happy not to see them on your birthday, you and DH go out together.

Cancel! fuck that shit! Why would you pay to have dinner with people for your birthday. Message everyone and say there's a change of plan and do something the three of you

YANBU

I'm a bit vindictive so I'd change restaurant and not tell them so they end up stuck there and having to pay for themselves.

Then You enjoy your birthday meal somewhere else entirely with your immediate family.

Cancel tell them you can't afford to pay for everyone.

How was the suggestion put forward?

Did you talk about what you could do to celebrate your birthday or did they initiate the conversation?

I wouldn't describe a grandmother and siblings as "their families". It's your family.

I'd cancel it and arrange some sort of buffet party at home and suggest they bring food.

I’d set a WhatsApp group up and post the menu saying the place is booked for x time and the plan is for everyone to pay for their own meal.

If you invite, you pay.
If you don't invite, you don't.
You didn't so you don't.

Cancel them and go with your kids. That is truly shite

Never mind your birthday. I wouldn’t bother with them at all!