Aibu thinking my parents should pay

[PigsInSlankets]

For themselves on my birthday? I don't expect them to fork out on my dinner or my dh/dc. But its a 'milestone' birthday and I don't think it's fair to expect me to pay for themselves and their families.

Attending are myself, DD, DH.
My DMis bringing 2 DBros and DGM
My DF is bringing DSM, 2DBros and 1DSis.

They suggested going for dinner to celebrate, and now they've both said they're unwilling to pay. It's been booked for months and they've told me they don't want to pay when it's only 2 weeks away.

Oh op I’m so sorry. That’s so shit. It must feel very hurtful.

Please tell me you are not lending your mother money! ‘Mum, you remember how money is tight. That’s still true.’

just how much money does she owe you OP?

I'm so sorry, OP. You must be so hurt, and you have every right to feel like that.

Go somewhere just your DH and DD. If you fancy it, invite some friends along to the restaurant instead of your bloody awful family, or change your plans completely and spend the money on whatever you fancy

One text message back to all of them.

Very disappointed and hurt that apparently my own family are only bothered about celebrating my birthday if I pay for everyone. I will instead spend the day with people who love me enough to not treat me as a walking cash machine. Please don't bother replying; I'm not interested in excuses or an argument.

God knows what tale they told yourAunt. If you like her very much I might send her that message that Handprints2018 suggested.
Do not leand her any money.

Op I'm so sorry your family are showing their true colours. Sending you big hugs.
Please don't go lending your mother more cash the bank rolling has to stop. "Sorry I don't have £50 to lend, you still owe me xxx"
One of the messages above is what you need to send to the freeloaders.

There's a bit of me thinks if you think back this won't be the first time they have conned you into paying for stuff.

@resistanceisnec

perfect...!

Fucking hell! I hope you told her to ask the new pet for the money!!! Happy Birthday anyway!!!

Tell me you aren’t lending her the £50!!

Do they will only celebrate your birthday if you buy them dinner?! That's pretty awful.

Say "oh well sorry about that I can just go out with dh then, cant afford 2 pay for 9 people to eat out, nevermind !
Ttfn! (accompanied by a sweet saccharine tone of voice /smile)

Are you going to answer anyone? I agree with sending the messages to your aunt and mother upthread. Nasty nasty.

Dear OP, please give us an update. Like many, I hope you haven't given your DM any more money. She clearly has no intention of paying you back or getting you anything for your birthday (unless that is what the money is for). They are selfish in trying to make your special day all about them and spoil it for you in the process. Incredibly hurtful. Please be honest with the others who were invited and tell them the truth so they won't all think you are at fault; none of this is your doing. I hope you are able to just request the return of the existing loan from your DM and mention it every time she contacts you, although I expect you will end up having to write it off.

I hope you are also able to distance yourself a bit from them so you can be in a place (mentally) where they are not able to keep on hurting you in the future.

Good luck

I know they are family and all but do you really need these people in your life?

I gave her £1600 for her rent deposit, she said she'd buy DD a pushchair when she was born and then said she'd pay us back for it because she couldn't afford it at the time- £325. I MOT'd her car which was £40, and then she's borrowed money for cigarettes a few times, roughly £50. And now she wants more.

I told her no, I'll be paying for my birthday meal with it.

I didn't respond to DF.

I told my aunt I don't believe she got the full story but it's a shame we won't see her. Then wished her a happy new year.

It's sad that it appears they only wanted the see you for a free meal :(

As for your mum! Well next time she asks to borrow money, I would say yes once she has paid back all the other loans 😂

What a bunch of cf. I’m so sorry op, I can imagine how hurt you must be feeling.

Have a lovely meal with your family and maybe do drinks and cake with friends.

Hope you enjoy your day

I can’t believe they are for real! They sound like a bunch of p*ss takers. Are you the only one who is financially stable and fairly normal?! Sounds like they have a bad habit of expecting u to shell out and are now trying to guilt you when you are setting your boundaries. Stay strong, eventually I expect they will come round, and if not their loss.

Maybe say you don’t want money to come between u and family. Best everyone pays for their own meals and other items going forward esp as you all have your own financial constraints.

Bunch of bastards.
I’ll come for your birthday meal op and I’ll pay for myself and towards yours.

Wow so they only want to see you if your paying, and can't be bothered if your not. The brass neck ofyihr mum after how she treated you, I wod tell her to do one. Your better off without people that clearly don't love or are for you enough to pop by for a drink and a bit of cake😥😥😥

On your birthday.

Jesus your family are absolutely shocking!

Excluding the pushchair which you'd have needed to buy anyway, you've given her £1700.

I'm reading between the lines that you and DH have steady jobs and probably earning average money paying a mortgage. You mother has been on benefits, minimum wages and thinks because your on average money and have your own house that your rolling in it.

I think the bank rolling has to stop, your never going to see your money again.

Threads like these always make me want to start a surrogate mn family for posters with fuckwits as their dearest and nearest.

Op - your family are truly shocking. You sound awesome. They don’t deserve you.

I would thoroughly disengage. They don’t even deserve a response. Have an amazing birthday with your dh and dc. I’ll raise a glass to you at home