To ask if you tell your children how much money you have?

[JennyFisher12]

WWYD not AIBU

Just interested as when I was growing up my parents would never tell me how much money they had. They told me to mind my own business!

Now my teenage son is asking us if ‘we have any money?’ as in if we have savings - I don’t think I really want to tell him but not sure why!

Do your children (if teenagers or older) know your rough finances or do you think it’s none of their business?

Yes.

In the earlier years, she knew when things were tough and we always set family goals to save for. I wanted her to know at the time I wanted to do lovely things with her and buy her lovely things too.

Now things are much better, she has a decent understanding of money, and i have explained to her how our finances work.

She will hopefully be far more financially savvy than I was when I first started handling money, and not go through the same sort of hard times as we did because we were crap at financial planning

We do talk about our finances, budgeting and money with our dc.
They're teens now, but it's something we've always discussed in an age appropriate way.
We think it's an important thing for them to understand, and want them to be able to manage their own finances and understand that everyone is different, and that good fortune can come and go, and that it's not necessarily based on how hard you work .

They know we are lucky to be comfortable atm, but that it hasn't always been that way, and that not all of their friends are so fortunate, and that being comfortable only means that they're lucky, not better, iykwim.

They understand that anyone could be in a bad situation; that it only takes an illness or some other run of bad luck, so they don't judge people on what they have or haven't got, but rather on what kind of person they are.

It doesn't always stop them acting like entitled teens though, lol.

My eldest is only 6 but has already asked what "rich" and "poor" means and what we are. All I've said is that we have enough money to have a nice house and lots of food and that we can do nice things at the weekend together but that we can't just buy whatever we want when we want it.

I don’t think I’d tell them our salaries etc or details like that.

I’d probably tell them that we have enough to cope with emergencies, so that they didn’t worry too much, but not enough to be frivolous.

Oh and I think I’ve been aware of my parents financial situation since my teens when the recession nearly caused us to lose our home.

I’m not exactly sure of pension incomes and savings now but have a tough idea. I don’t think it’s my business to know the details unless they tell me and/or ask for advice.

I would not specifically tell them exact figures but people can look things up eg my NHS doctor/consultant father they have pay scales on line. My teacher family members the pay scales are on line so hardly a state secret.
I was scaninng my 1995 diary recently and my father said he had had his best year ever age age 67 and told me the amount so he must have felt happy to do that once we were in our 30s or 20s. He also always sent us any new will he made and if we were trustees of a life policy of his so we had a fairly good idea about things.
Also since 1995 you can look up on line what people paid for their house as that is no longer secret so again that gives a fair bit away.

And the amount you sold your island for can be found online

Yes. It not in exact terms. DD knows we have a savings account for her uni if that’s an option for her and that we are solvent enough to offer her trips with school and scouts.

But we also explain that for certain things we need to save like long haul holidays or that there is a limit about how many hobbies we can afford for her and us to have,

I think giving a good example about budgeting and saving is vital to learn as early as possible.

Its important DC understand costs, budgeting and why things are the way they are in our household. We live in an affluent area, they need to understand they are lucky, they need to understand their school is exceptional (state). They need to understand why some people live in bigger houses than us or take more holidays than we do because we have different priorities. They know we can afford bills, food, school trips but not the amount of our income or savings.

Each to their own, but as far as my son is concerned we are destitute.
We're not rich by any means, but we have no reasons for any sleepless nights either.

My children are adults still living at home.
They know my finances, which banks/ building societies I have accounts and investments at, where the relevant paperwork is kept and even know where I keep a small stash of cash at home.

My DD 18 knows how much I earn and our outgoings, DS 13 knows our outgoings and rough income. I think it's good for them to understand why we haven't got a brand new car every year etc plus I think for DD it was an eye opener to how much it costs to run a home and the cost of a holiday etc... she said she's never moving out!

Yes! I'm in the minus! So figure it's good for them to know that when they ask frequently for toys they would only play with once!! Plus they love the fact they always have more Money than me, even when they only have a penny!!!!

My children do know actually. Only because my son asked me outright so I told him rough amounts. That said I don't think he really understands what the figures mean. He gets that we don't really have to worry too much about food or bills or small treats but that we have to save up for nice things and can't always afford everything we would like, especially if an unexpected bill comes in. I think it's giving them a good attitude to money and they're very appreciative of our home and things I buy for them.