to ask why Mumsnet is so cliquey and me, me, me

[Lkbbdg]

^That.
It's all cliques and people replying to a post and then being ignored.

Is this the MN equivalent of vaguebooking? How can you be in a clique of you don’t even know who the other people in the clique are?

I rarely look at posters names.

I think you'd have to do quite a bit of research over all the subjects, even if you were to just stick to AIBU, to establish if there are cliques on here.

There used to be a few 'in' jokes on here but as a pp said - sorry didn't notice the poster's name - that seems to have stopped over the last several months.

I am a regular poster on a long running thread in style and beauty about perfume - when new people post on it everyone welcomes them, but I can see how it could appear cliquey because we all “know” one another. I think that’s just a fact of life online, if you always post about one thing, be that lipstick or breastfeeding, people will recognise you and you will form a sort of group. I rarely post much beyond S&B, so don’t expect a load of interaction if I do, but people have always been kind and helpful if I have posted in general health or the litter tray with questions.

Most of my posts don't get a personal reply from the OP or other posters. That's fine with me as I'd hate to get embroiled in some sort of argument online as, like you, I am quite sensitive and a bit paranoid at times! Also, my opinion or post isn't worth more than anyone else's- I see it as adding to a general discussion rather than having a conversation.

Just say your piece and move on- far less stressful :)

I have never seen this? How can an online forum be clique?

You lot crack me up!!

MN isn't that cliquey but it is full of unwritten rules. It's fine if you have a thick skin and don't care too much about what other people say. The best thing is if you get flamed on AIBU don't sweat it just NC and come back on. I'm on here all the time and you do get used to it.

Yum yum, that quiche was tasty

I've been here since time began. If you wanted to see cliques, you should have been here c2005. I don't see cliques now because it is too big for cliques to notice now. It would be like looking for a particular sea shell in an ocean.

That said, I have lost track of how many threads I have started within the last year or so that have had no replies. It used to be so small that, on a quiet evening, people would make it their mission to add a reply to every unanswered thread. I do feel a bit put off starting threads now as I feel there is little point. But cliques? Nah!

ok so i post on say three threads for stamp collecting, llama owners and raw chicken eaters and anything i post is always ignored but people post saying same as what i said and get replies but i never do so its a clique or i am getting ignored

Do you genuinely think millions of users are recognising your name and purposely ignoring you? Really?

@Judystilldreamsofhorses I didn't know there was a thread about perfumes (I rarely go into S&B, my DD despairs at my hippy meets metalhead "style" ).

Would I be able to get some recommendations on there? I try perfumes every now and then but never seem to get what I'm looking for.

Lkbbdg, you say you feel ignored in real life. I think that has made you anxious and liable to see the same treatment here. Remember that nearly all of the posts that people make are ignored. Only a few are responded to by other posters. Sometimes I can feel like, 'hey, why are my words of utter brilliance not being commented on?!' But Hey ho, that's how it goes.

It really isn't personal. 95% of posts are not commented on by others.

Do you genuinely think millions of users are recognising your name and purposely ignoring you? Really?

course not. but if its a clique then they will only answer regulars or if they are only interested in their own post.

Nah you just get ignored

Ditto here. What does it matter though?

There is definitely less waving than they used to be

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Well to heck with you then! feeling very ignored. Sniffle

I felt like this the first time I posted in Fwr, got torn apart! Spent the time lurking and learning, and since then it has become my favourite forum

A) you are way way over thinking it
B) you sound quite paranoid
C) you are taking it way too personally
D) do you have any real life support for anxiety or similar?
E) I constantly comment on threads to give advice or support; the comments are stand alone and I don't expect direct replies or often even go back and look. That's the way to play it.

people post saying same as what i said and get replies

This happens to all of us. It's not personal. People reply to the most recent statement of an idea. No one gets credit for original thought on an anonymous internet forum.

Yes it is cliquey and fickle and not like the good old days,used to be so nice.apparently
But that doesn’t mean you have to be cliquey and fickle
Post what you want and don’t sweat it

Surely it’s rare to get an individual response? Generally I only get replied to when people think I’m talking shit

I'm a "regular" but change my username very frequently. I haven't found that the amount my posts are responded to has changed from when I used the same name all the time.

I've been here 18years and think it's less cliquey. I'm not in a clique and don't notice any. There's too many people. I guess some people who always post in the same topics get to know each other and may chat more but I don't think that's a clique.