Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog sleeping in bedroom

157 replies

Moggymorn · 06/01/2019 08:51

We got a puppy 8 months ago and I've said from day one, I don't want him sleeping in our bedroom. DH didn't really agree with this but left him downstairs, not without asking me every night if he could come up.
Dog then got attacked by a few dogs one night and was all shaken up, DH insisted as he'd been hurt he slept up with us so we could keep an eye on him, I agreed. A few nights later when he was ok again I asked if we could put him back downstairs and DH moaned and left him down. I woke up in the morning and the dog was on our bed. This became a bit of a habit. The dog gets up constantly throughout the night, for the toilet, sometimes just to stretch his legs but he wakes me up every time and always needs to go downstairs once or twice. DH always pretended to be asleep so I had to get up and sort him out even though I'm the one who doesn't want him up here. If he's downstairs he can go through the flap and do his business alone, if he's upstairs he never figures that out and just goes all over our carpet. Last week I snapped and said if he wants the dog up here he can get up in the night and that I'm not doing it anymore, first 2 nights dog pooed all over our room, last few nights DH has loudly got up, sighed, moaned about being out of bed (so hardly letting me sleep) and I just said good morning to him and he sneered "I've been up FIVE times in the night, thanks for helping"

AIBU to refuse? I don't want the dog up here. I don't want to get up constantly through the night. I don't like the dog sleeping on our bed anyway. I'm pregnant and in a matter of months they'll be a next2me crib attached to our bed so not a chance he'll be up here then anyway. I'm making the most of sleeping through the nights while I still can. Apparently I don't care about the dog and I'm selfish.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
surlycurly · 06/01/2019 08:53

YANBU

Littleraindrop15 · 06/01/2019 08:55

Your husband is being unreasonable for sure he wants the dog in bed then this is his responsibility. If however you want to continue keeping dog upstairs I would invest in some toileting pads at least that way your carpets don't get ruined.

Or

Just put your foot down and say no dog upstairs..

Strugglingtodomybest · 06/01/2019 08:55

Sorry but your DH sounds like a twat. Letting you get woken up so many times during the night while you're pregnant? Really?

Spanglylycra · 06/01/2019 08:56

Yanbu. And you should not be dealing with animal poo when pregnant.

PumpkinKitty82 · 06/01/2019 08:56

Quite frankly he’s a fucking idiot!
He doesn’t want to get up but won’t do the sensible thing of leaving the dog downstairs?
If he’s too stubborn to use his commonsense then he deserves to be woken up 5 times a night !
Put your foot down,OP.
I could never have a dog sleeping on my bed , the thought makes me shudder, even our cats sleep in the kitchen overnight

GinUnicorn · 06/01/2019 08:57

Your husband sounds totally in the wrong. Maybe it’s worth pointing out to him that you need to establish these boundaries with the dog now for the baby’s safety so the dog becomes less jealous when the baby arrive.

Good luck

Hoopaloop · 06/01/2019 08:58

Our dog (dobe cross) used to sleep under the covers and get up off bed, taking bed covers with him, then get back under. Slightly annoying but miss him!

Dotty1970 · 06/01/2019 08:58

Absolutely do not let the dog upstairs, especially if he's using it as a toilet. Imo dogs shouldn't go upstairs at all.

Original poster
Moggymorn · 06/01/2019 08:59

Thanks all. Will stick to my guns. I do refuse to have the dog up here and leave the stair gate across but wake up in the morning and DH has gone down when I'm asleep to get him and bring him up here. He cries for a few minutes when we go upstairs but if you ignore him he stops within minutes, DH feels guilty apparently and caves. Dog doesn't near me in the night (I like my space) but snuggles right up to DH so he loves having him up here. I just find it irritating. I do like my dog during the day... I just don't see a reason he has to sleep with us.

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 06/01/2019 08:59

Letting a dog in the shared bedroom should only be by mutual agreement.

You agreed to the dog on condition it didn't come in the bedroom
Now your OH is breaking his word

If he wants to persuade you that the dog won't stress you out -especially with you being pregnant -
he needs to keep his word, train the dog downstairs and always clean up any accidents himself,
without moaning

As it is, he is even grumbling you are not getting up, or clearing up the crap of the dog you don't want in the bedroom.

He is being childish and self-centered

Dotty1970 · 06/01/2019 08:59

Pumpkinkitty82 totally agree

Nenic · 06/01/2019 09:00

Our dog sleeps in the bedroom but on his bed not ours.

OrcinusOrca · 06/01/2019 09:02

YANBU, your DH sounds like he's being a bit of a git. Sounds like toilet training isn't quite there, is it just upstairs he toilets in the night? Maybe he needs regimented nightly loo breaks for a bit to help him get it. Is the bedroom hot as well, my dogs all get hot and are more restless then.

I'm not opposed to dogs in bedrooms, but mine don't go on the bed, they go in their bed. And we don't have carpet. None get up in the night either, they'll quite happily sleep 11-7 without batting an eyelid.

Littleraindrop15 · 06/01/2019 09:03

Tell him to sleep on the sofa downstairs with the dog if he feels so bad about him crying.

Our dog sleeps with us but he doesn't poop and wee everywhere and doesn't ever disturb us. If he did he would be downstairs!!

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 06/01/2019 09:03

We have a very small dog and hes always slept downstairs from being a 10 week old pup

MeOldChina · 06/01/2019 09:04

YANBu, OP. Especially since it sounds like the dog was quite happy downstairs until your DH showed him the alternative!

Our dog sleeps on the landing in his bed. He isn't allowed on our bed

AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe · 06/01/2019 09:04

YANBU

Kick the dog out of the bedroom.

And put your foot down with your husband. Your husband is an idiot as a PP said your dog needs boundaries now. Once the baby is here the dog will find his/her life more restricted and if rules and boundaries aren't put in place now you will be rehoming him/her.

Pinkprincess1978 · 06/01/2019 09:04

It's not really fair on the dog to start this now only to stop it when baby is here. You need to put your foot down now and explain this to DH. It's not safe or practical to have the dog around when you have a tiny baby in with you so why encourage it now? Also it was your condition on getting the dog so it's very unfair to go back on that agreement now.

Amorea · 06/01/2019 09:05

I've always had dogs & fostered too.

They always slept downstairs, in a nice comfy (stairgated) room of their own with their toys. Happy dogs, happy me. It was their safe space that I didn't allow kids or visitors into.

The key is consistency! Decide now if it's allowed or not, and stick to it. It's confusing for the dog otherwise. They NEED routine!

10pm - toilet break. 10.10pm - in their room/bed with a small treat. Stairgated if needed.

Do this every night regardless of what time you go to bed.

Our dogs would know the routine inside out! Happy, content pooches.

Original poster
Moggymorn · 06/01/2019 09:06

@OrcinusOrca Dog is toilet trained downstairs but he isn't allowed upstairs he doesn't understand up there. Throughout the day he is never allowed upstairs and hasn't been since day one, but DH brings him up at night and he can't seem to figure his way out and just goes in our room or on the landing. We have nice new carpets the whole upstairs and wood floor downstairs, there was a reason I didn't let him up here and still don't in the days but DH insisting he just needs more training.

He keeps saying it's because our bedrooms too hot and opening all the windows. That's where I drew the line and snapped at him last week I'm not willing to be freezing cold so the dog is more happy upstairs. I said to him in the heat of the moment thanks for being more considerate about the dog then you're pregnant wife.

OP posts:
Merrz · 06/01/2019 09:07

YANBU. Try to explain to your DH that it's actually really unfair on the dog to be sometimes getting in the bedroom and sometimes not, he might start thinking sleeping downstairs is a form of punishment. I'd put your foot down and say dog does not sleep in the bedroom for all of your sakes

Original poster
Moggymorn · 06/01/2019 09:08

@Amorea Exact same set up here, he's got one room that's all his, tiled floor, a flap that goes out to the garden, his bowls, some toys and his crate with a comfy bed in. He loves his crate and naps in their during the day. It's a lot cooler as well downstairs. Dog would probably sleep better down there! Bloody men

OP posts:
AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 06/01/2019 09:08

As someone who's dog sleeps under the duvet next to her legs, YANBU. I wouldn't be standing for it either given all the broken sleep, and you don't want the dog to think sleeping arrangements have been changed to his detriment because baby has arrived.

Amorea · 06/01/2019 09:11

Perfect! That's ideal.

I think...send the DH to sleep downstairs with the dog Grin

labazsisgoingmad · 06/01/2019 09:12

my dog sleeps with me and my partner but she is clean and doesnt disturb us so its a different scenario. you dont sound much of a dog lover but i agree about the baby due soon youll need space and peace so you are going to have to be firm about this if the dog has a dog flap downstairs and can safely go out then he needs to go downstairs he will cry for a bit but they soon realise it wont have any effect

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread