Dog sleeping in bedroom

[Moggymorn]

We got a puppy 8 months ago and I've said from day one, I don't want him sleeping in our bedroom. DH didn't really agree with this but left him downstairs, not without asking me every night if he could come up.
Dog then got attacked by a few dogs one night and was all shaken up, DH insisted as he'd been hurt he slept up with us so we could keep an eye on him, I agreed. A few nights later when he was ok again I asked if we could put him back downstairs and DH moaned and left him down. I woke up in the morning and the dog was on our bed. This became a bit of a habit. The dog gets up constantly throughout the night, for the toilet, sometimes just to stretch his legs but he wakes me up every time and always needs to go downstairs once or twice. DH always pretended to be asleep so I had to get up and sort him out even though I'm the one who doesn't want him up here. If he's downstairs he can go through the flap and do his business alone, if he's upstairs he never figures that out and just goes all over our carpet. Last week I snapped and said if he wants the dog up here he can get up in the night and that I'm not doing it anymore, first 2 nights dog pooed all over our room, last few nights DH has loudly got up, sighed, moaned about being out of bed (so hardly letting me sleep) and I just said good morning to him and he sneered "I've been up FIVE times in the night, thanks for helping"

AIBU to refuse? I don't want the dog up here. I don't want to get up constantly through the night. I don't like the dog sleeping on our bed anyway. I'm pregnant and in a matter of months they'll be a next2me crib attached to our bed so not a chance he'll be up here then anyway. I'm making the most of sleeping through the nights while I still can. Apparently I don't care about the dog and I'm selfish.

You both clearly need to give up your hounds as a matter of urgency. Send them here and I will selflessly volunteer to worship look after them

My first hound was a whippet who we crate trained, because he was a destructive little arsehole who chewed everything and stubbornly refused any attempts at house training! He was an awesome little character and I still miss him. He wasn't allowed to sleep in our room because he insisted on burrowing under the duvet between us and kept us awake all night.

'If YOU want the dog in the bed then YOU can clean up after him during the night'.

Rinse and repeat.

Well the dog is sleeping downstairs... but apparently so is DH oh well more room for me

Sounds like a result to me. Enjoy the extra space to spread out - can I suggest sleeping diagonally, just in case he tries to get back in at 2am?

This is our poor pup. As you can see he is clearly abused and unhappy

I have three dogs, two cats and various other animals - all very much adored - and I wouldn’t have any of them in my bedroom unless there were unusual circumstances. When the dogs have slept in the bedroom they’ve been uneasy and wanted to go downstairs to their baskets.

I understand other people happily have animals on their beds, but I cannot sleep (and I wonder how people have a sex life with dogs in the bed!).

If he still doesn’t listen when you discuss it, make sure you wake him up every few hours because you think that the dog needs the loo. And if he grumbles when he has to clean up tell him it’s because he’s the one that wants the dog in there, and he missed a bit!

Can't believe your DH would rather sleep on the sofa than leave ddog on his own downstairs where he is happy!!!

Enjoy starfishing in your bed op

@WineNotTea How is she? Mine was back to full fitness after the operation but unfortunately the second one then went, apparently very common.

He loved his crate, despite not having had one as a pup. We used to move it between rooms so he was never alone. The cat often went in with him.

Awww what a cutie! He’s very clearly distressed and abused

@RandomMess I know! Apparently it's just this first night to make sure he settles.. we will see

Not to mention once the baby arrives the dog will certainly need to be elsewhere!

Love my dog and cats but at night they are firmly elsewhere, Girl cat asks to be put to bed from 9pm

We have the dogs upstairs, and often in bed, but it was a joint decision.

I wouldn't do it, if DH wasn't happy with it.

100% yanbu, even a cat is annoying in the bed, no way could I deal with a dog!!

Totally agree with you. State it was agreed dog sleeps downstairs especially with the baby coming and if dh brings the dog upstairs you do not get up for it, he deals with it and you simply say well we agreed it would stay downstairs, this is why.

@Brigante9 what a fab photo, so cute!

Ours is doing really well, we are strictly following the vets weekly exercise programme and she’s having more frequent on lead walks now. She’s weight bearing but still quite obviously lame which is expected. While we are in the room with her she is allowed out of her crate and we have put a gate at the bottom of the stairs. To be honest she could probably be out of her crate a bit more now but she is 11 and we have 2 other dogs (Jack Russels) both under 4 and they just mither her so the crate is a welcome relief for her!

Luckily both myself and DH work from home so the recovery period has been relatively easy, I dread to think how we would have coped if we were Office based.

Apologies OP for derailing the thread.

@hoopaloop our dobe cross used to sleep under the covers too! He also went through a phase of sleeping under the bed too. He’s
9 years old now and sleeps with his giant head over my legs- just don’t get me started on the volume of his snoring!

Welcome to the world of shitty fathers. The thing where he makes loads of noise complaining when he has to get up is exactly what my ex was like, with our daughter, manipulation at its finest. He should grow up and take responsibility for the dog if it's his/he wants it upstairs. I'm a dog lover and have a dog but never upstairs but each to their own and not judging. His attitude won't change, he's using you. I bet if you left him and moved out the dog would become another sad tale in the rescue centre.

@ladybunker you 'hate being licked by animals' why the fuck do you have a dog.... what is wrong with people!? Don't get a dog unless you love it enough to treat it like part of the family.

I’m off to bed now and crated dog is happily sleeping however my two little Jacks do come to bed with me and DH.
They both sleep under the cover and both sleep against our legs. We all end up in a tangled mess but I don’t care and nor does DH, in fact it was him that encouraged it.
Anyway, the point of this post is, do whatever you think is right, be that in or out of the bed. All of the cocks that are evangelical about their animal husbandry clearly have no crystal balls about how people live with their pets.
OP I’m with you on your situation and I think that your DH is being a bit of a cockwomble, hopefully his sleeping downstairs this evening will help him to see that.....

Ok, have only read OP’s posts so apologies if anything else has been covered already.

Full disclsosure, I only have experience of large breeds (and OP’s obvouiosly is not a large breed!).

Crating is the best thing you can do with your dog - even if you don’t ever shut the door, which I don’t - it’s their safe space. I cover my dog’s crate with blackout curtain lining. All sides apart from the entrance door. It helps reinforce their safe space.

Unless I’ve misunderstood posts, your dog is around 14 months old. Dogs mature at different rates depending on their size - so larger breeds mature later than smaller breeds. Your boy should be neutered, but you need to find out the optimum time depending on his breed - best to wait until he’s “mature” rather than doing it too early as they can lose confidence.

Got a weird feeling that your DH is seeing your pup as another “bloke” in the house. This is your problem. You need to reinforce pup stays downstairs - you’re going to have enough disruptions with your newborn !!

Stay strong , you are right - dogs needs boundaries and can be perfectly happy with them (they prefer them, knowing the rules means they are less stressed about figuring them out themselves)

It’s late, not explained properly, sorry!)

I'm with LadyBunker. And I'm a huge animal lover.

I don't want to be tongued, thanks. Ick.

OP I wish every dog owner took a leaf out of your book! Clearly responsible and caring. DH will soon come back upstairs, I'm sure! He's being a tool. Stick to your guns.

I allow my dog to sleep on the bed. Ideally he would like to sleep between myself and dh but dh is not as keen as the dog is so they compromise and the dogs sleeps to the left of my feet and dh sleeps on my right. I think your dh is bvu especially in relation to thinking that you should be cleaning up when you don't want the dog up there in the first place.

Do you think your dh is jealous of the pregnancy and wants to have his own special little baby bond with the dog or something?

As for the posters saying you should not have gotten a dog for the various reasons they have trotted out, they are annoying and have misplaced empathy. Your dog seems to be very well looked after and loved. Definitely best to get the dog used to downstairs before baby comes as he would be more put out then if he associated it with the arrival of baby.

A dog should not sleep on your bad. It is better pack leader training for him to sleep in his own bed. If he is happily crate trained this is your husbands doing

I wish people would stop banging on about dominance and "packs". It just shows deep holes in your knowledge about domestic dogs.