Dog sleeping in bedroom

[Moggymorn]

We got a puppy 8 months ago and I've said from day one, I don't want him sleeping in our bedroom. DH didn't really agree with this but left him downstairs, not without asking me every night if he could come up.
Dog then got attacked by a few dogs one night and was all shaken up, DH insisted as he'd been hurt he slept up with us so we could keep an eye on him, I agreed. A few nights later when he was ok again I asked if we could put him back downstairs and DH moaned and left him down. I woke up in the morning and the dog was on our bed. This became a bit of a habit. The dog gets up constantly throughout the night, for the toilet, sometimes just to stretch his legs but he wakes me up every time and always needs to go downstairs once or twice. DH always pretended to be asleep so I had to get up and sort him out even though I'm the one who doesn't want him up here. If he's downstairs he can go through the flap and do his business alone, if he's upstairs he never figures that out and just goes all over our carpet. Last week I snapped and said if he wants the dog up here he can get up in the night and that I'm not doing it anymore, first 2 nights dog pooed all over our room, last few nights DH has loudly got up, sighed, moaned about being out of bed (so hardly letting me sleep) and I just said good morning to him and he sneered "I've been up FIVE times in the night, thanks for helping"

AIBU to refuse? I don't want the dog up here. I don't want to get up constantly through the night. I don't like the dog sleeping on our bed anyway. I'm pregnant and in a matter of months they'll be a next2me crib attached to our bed so not a chance he'll be up here then anyway. I'm making the most of sleeping through the nights while I still can. Apparently I don't care about the dog and I'm selfish.

I could never have a dog sleeping on my bed , the thought makes me shudder, even our cats sleep in the kitchen overnight

That's hygienic, walking all over your kitchen counters (not envy).

Yanbu. No way I would let a dog sleep in my bedroom or anywhere near my bed. I think it's really important to have boundaries in place before the baby comes, especially if you are planning to co-sleep. Your dh can always sleep downstairs with the dog if he wants.

I really hope this thread has given you the confidence to sit down and talk with your dh (not in the middle of the night) about this situation. It seems obvious that the dog should sleep in teh kitchen, for many reasons but not least because neither of you like being woken up by him!

What worries me is if he is this soft and short sighted and frankly stupid regarding the dog, what will he be like with his views on parenting? Best of luck with that!

A dog should never ever sleep in your bed. It makes them see you as an equal, you're not.

Bollocks. Mine always have and there is no problem about who is in charge. I don't pee on command but they go out and pee on my command, for a single example. I do have to let two of mine out in the night but they are 15 and I have to get up to pee myself anyway. My parents only had a dog in their room as a puppy and as an elderly dog, both times because of extra loo visits in the night.

Furthermore, both pibbles and staffies are lovely dogs by nature; it's the arseholes who twist that nature that deserve the disgust.

I don’t like my dog upstairs and have always actively discouraged her. My teen dd lets her up occasionally but she sleeps downstairs at night.

In a situation like yours where the dog is messing and unsettled and a baby on the way I’d definitely be seeking to reestablish downstairs sleeping.

Hope your dh listens!

Mine sleeps in the bed and has done since day one but only because we're both okay with it. If one of us wasn't happy the dog would be trained to sleep downstairs or in his crate.

Your DH is unreasonable. You both agreed the dog would sleep downstairs so he needs to maintain that.

OMG some of the comments on this post are unhinged.

The issue isn't the dog, or training. It's that the DH is over riding OPs wishes and causing problems with the dog's toileting habits in the process. Seriously some of you need to get a grip.

OP maybe it's time you sat down with your DH and laid down the law. Or suggests he sleeps downstairs instead. You need to get this sorted before the baby arrives.

And I'm sorry you've had so much grief from the muppets on here.

And I'm sorry you've had so much grief from the muppets on here.

What did I miss? I thought most people on the thread agreed that the OP's DH was being very unfair and needed to stick to what he agreed, i.e. for the dog to sleep downstairs.

I could never have a dog sleeping on my bed , the thought makes me shudder, even our cats sleep in the kitchen overnight

Some clever person has gotten here before me, but to repeat what she's said, you do realise that they're tracking their fecal feet all over your kitchen countertops?

My dog is in my bed, but I wash the bedding weekly and crucially, I don't eat from my bed.

Furthermore, both pibbles and staffies are lovely dogs by nature; it's the arseholes who twist that nature that deserve the disgust.

Agree. I don't particularly like staffies or pitties - that's just personal preference. But I grew up with big dogs in the house; either german sheps or rotties and people react similarly to them. I've had people cross over the road before to avoid my parents' rottie even though she's been walking along to heel, on a lead and perfectly behaved. Bad owners cause poorly behaved dogs.

YABVU. At 8 months the poor dog should be toilet trained so sounds like you are doing a shit job (irrelevant if he hasn't been upstairs before, they know inside from outside).

People should only have dogs if they plan on including them as part of the family. Not locking them downstairs/out of certain rooms!

Poor poor dog. At least your OH seems to care.

Oh goodness just seen you put the poor thing in a crate too :-(

Taking on a puppy while TTC is undeniably a bad idea

What rubbish. People are a le to do both, you know and go on to actually cope with a dog and a child, shock, horror!

People should only have dogs if they plan on including them as part of the family. Not locking them downstairs/out of certain rooms!

Bollocks. Sometimes I don't want mine upstairs, one isn't very restful and there isn't the room for them and us on the bed. It's perfectly fine to keep them downstairs. Mine come for cuddles but looking at my cream duvet cover and the suspicious stains, no more!

As a pp said, this is a DH issue. You need boundaries in place, OP, the dog should be staying downstairs.

And here's mine in his crate. Which isn't actually his, but he was determined to go in there. The black and white was crate trained, useful given the amount of injuries he's had (vet says 3/4 of injured dogs he sees are springers, they're keen on going through things rather than round!)

Believe me, when you have a dog with a snapped cruciate and post TPL operation with strict instructions that he isn't allowed to walk unsupported, you're gonna be super glad you crate trained!

@Brigante9 I completely agree re the crating, ours had TPLO surgery 8 weeks ago and has been as happy as Larry in her crate.

OP ignore all the posters claiming that YABU, you are not!

Dog loves his crate! It's his little safe space, he's never forced in and door is never locked. He can come and go as he likes. Definitely not "poor thing" at all!

It is only his 'safe space' because you stuck him in there as a puppy.

YANBU.

It doesn't work for you, and it has to be a mutual decision.

If your dog isn't toilet trained then he shouldn't be sleeping upstairs. A healthy young dog shouldn't need to go out for a wee at night. Having the dog flap means he's for used to going as and when he likes. This is why crating at night is a good idea for you young puppies. They don't tend to soil their own beds so learn to hold it until you let take them out on the garden.

Your husband sounds like a tool! I think you need to have a serious chat with him as he's being totally idiotic about this.

Learnt a lot from this thread.. crates are abusive, dogs and babies in the same house is abusive and disagreeing about where the dog should sleep is an entirely valid reason to rehome a loved dog! I shall arrange a new home for him immediately, and so will the majority of posters on this thread, because clearly none of us know a thing!

For goodness sake, you are now being entirely unreasonable. None of this is the poor pups fault, we should all be rehoming ourselves, not the other way round

The only reason for having a dog in your bedroom is if you live in an igloo. Remember the 70's band "Three Dog Night"?
The only worse thing would be having a nasty furry selfish cat.

The only reason for having a dog in your bedroom is if you live in an igloo

Or if you want a dog in your bedroom?

Moggymorn i will get my boy rehomed too.... we tick all the abuse boxes, crate trained tick, (although doesn't use it now as he is 6 and has a harry potter style den under the stairs) , we have DC before and after he arrived- tick, he is not allowed to sleep upstairs- tick,