Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I the only one who thinks this assault is not ok

419 replies

BuffetTHEvampireSLAYER · 06/01/2019 01:23

I am absolutely fuming.

DS 17 was on a night out and returned with a bruise on his face, when I questioned it he said he was messing around with his friends and he went to bed.

I have since had a phone call from his girlfriends mother who informed me that her daughter is pregnant and her husband punched my DS and she told me that he's lucky thats all he got

I woke DS up and he told me that everything's ok and I have to stay out of it.

I am obviously shocked if his gf is pregnant but i'm more worried about the assault that has occurred

What should I do Sad

OP posts:
Edgeworth · 06/01/2019 06:11

Can't say I'm surprised at the identities of some of the child-punching advocates in here.

horsesheep · 06/01/2019 07:16

Why is anyone even condoning this assault? A 17 year old does not deserve to be punched for getting his girlfriend pregnant. Assuming it's obviously consensual sex, why is he only to blame?
If the pregnancy was unplanned and they weren't on contraceptives then maybe both parents needed to of done a better job at teaching their children about contraceptives.

Also please don't speak to her mother about her dd having an abortion. It's not the mothers decision, it's not your decision, it's not her Neanderthal of a fathers decision. It's no ones decision but theirs how their life turns out.

Veterinari · 06/01/2019 07:30

sashkin no because I was a grown married woman in my thirties not a girl who left school a year ago

Ah so you only advocate violence when it’s against a boy (who has recently left or more likely, is stil in school) then sonlypuppyfat

I’m surprised how many mysogynists there are on mumsnet - do none of you believe that a consenting woman has any responsibility for her own contraception? Or should all sexually active women be policed by their fathers?

Do none of you take responsibility for you own contraception? Or do you all leave that to your partners and assume your fathers will wade in to ‘protect your dignity’ if it all goes wrong?

whassupmissus · 06/01/2019 07:35

Personally whist it's wrong if it were my son I'd get why emotions were running high - if my daughter got pregnant at 17 I would go nuts. That said in the cold light I'd say it's not acceptable but I wouldn't report him. I would however call him and tell him that was totally unacceptable and then get in to how two kids who live at home are going to manage the pregnancy and the aftermath

whassupmissus · 06/01/2019 07:37

And just remember op - his life will slightly change her future no is irrevocably different. She will have to live with the fact she's had a termination or be doing the lions share of caring for a child. Your son can still have the future he planned she won't

ChakiraChakra · 06/01/2019 07:43

Oh lordy this thread is awful.

Accidents can and do happen.

Even if they weren't using protection, they are both equally responsible.

Nobody has a right to punch anybody else.

Nobody has any right insisting on or pushing for a termination. It's the young women's choice over her own body.

Talk to your son in the morning. He'll be scared, confused and upset about everything. Your job is to support him.

Aridane · 06/01/2019 07:47

You're focused on the bruise and not the bigger picture. Your son is potentially going to have a relationship with these people for the rest of his life.

Yep

U2HasTheEdge · 06/01/2019 07:51

Some of these replies are shocking. Good for him for punching a 17 year old?

I was pregnant when I was 17. Thankfully, no one punched my boyfriend at the time and we both had equal responsibility in me getting pregnant.

It is not OK OP. I would want my son to call the police too but would leave the decision in his hands after I spoke it through with him.

Juells · 06/01/2019 07:52

Pearpickinpenguin
Call the police and get charges for assault brought against her father.
Then try and speak to the childs mum about getting this young girl a termination. You do not want your son tied to a family that see nothing of physical violence.

So the girl has to be organised to have a termination, so that the OP's son isn't tied to the family? Girls really are of no consequence.

In all honesty, I'd be beside myself with rage if my 17-year-old daughter was pregnant, I might lash out as well.

What age is the gf? Just because the OP's son is 17, that doesn't mean the gf is as well. There could be more to this than meets the eye.

And no, I wouldn't bring charges of assault against the girl's father.

SidecarSchism · 06/01/2019 07:53

Do you have a contact number for girlfriend? Is there a way to find out if she’s safe? (if her parents are kicking off like that at you and your son id worried for her safety)
Otherwise, I would insist on taking photos, tell your son he can report it but then stay out if it.

Rafabella · 06/01/2019 07:56

He's been assaulted and threatened. Regardless of pregnancy, assault is assault. Call the police. Charges should be brought.

Make it swift and send a clear message that this sort of behaviour towards your son will not be tolerated, again regardless of the pregnancy.

Then tell them you are willing to sit down as adults to decide what do to about the pregnancy.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 06/01/2019 07:58

Ironic that the OPs son is old enough to be a father but still a child ( victim of assault).
Looks like the potential granddad is not overjoyed about this pregnancy, so a termination is probably on the cards.

Poloshot · 06/01/2019 07:58

Don't interfere in him getting punched, he's 17 it's probably not the first time. However him getting his GF pregnant is something to be more focused on

user1487194234 · 06/01/2019 07:58

I think you have to let your son decide whether or not he reports this to the police. Regardless of that your son has to face up to his responsibilities.Your job is to support him,not to take over.I think you are focussing on the assault as you are in shock about the whole situation,as I would be

Juells · 06/01/2019 07:59

What age is the gf, OP?

Juells · 06/01/2019 08:00

Bruise on face v life fucked up

Well, that's a difficult one.

MakeAHouseAHome · 06/01/2019 08:02

If your son is old enough to knock someone up he is old enough to report an assault if he wants to.

Biggest issue here is 100% the pregnancy and not the punch.

FullTimeYummy · 06/01/2019 08:06

As alluded to a teenage man getting punched in the face is fairly a routine event, the real issue here is the upcoming grandchild. You must think of your ongoing relationship with the girlfriends family.

I'm surprised you're not more angry at the girlfriend for getting your son into this mess to be honest.

RuthWilder · 06/01/2019 08:06

Astounded at the amount of posters who think someone being punched (let alone a teenager being punched by an adult) is not a big deal. It’s illegal, at minimum: getting pregnant is unfortunate.

BeatNickBeamer · 06/01/2019 08:06

The assault is not OK - assuming it was consensual sex they're both equally to blame for the pregnancy.

However the pregnancy would be my main concern now. Not the assault (even though that was very wrong). This is your potential grandchild's life. If she has this baby your son's life will never be the same. That would be my main concern.

BeatNickBeamer · 06/01/2019 08:08

It’s illegal, at minimum: getting pregnant is unfortunate.

RuthWilder having a child is clearly a much much bigger deal than getting punched though.

Rafabella · 06/01/2019 08:08

@RuthWilder I couldn't agree more.

Cuntcuntcunt · 06/01/2019 08:09

Your priorities are screwed up.

Rafabella · 06/01/2019 08:13

This would have been a completely different post if both the son and girlfriend had spoken to their respective parents and told them about the pregnancy and the parents had acted like ADULTS. I reiterate, get the police involved to deal with assault then tell the girlfriends parents that you are willing to talk as adults.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 06/01/2019 08:14

Juelles the gf is 17 read the bloody thread before spouting off

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread