Am I the only one who thinks this assault is not ok

[BuffetTHEvampireSLAYER]

I am absolutely fuming.

DS 17 was on a night out and returned with a bruise on his face, when I questioned it he said he was messing around with his friends and he went to bed.

I have since had a phone call from his girlfriends mother who informed me that her daughter is pregnant and her husband punched my DS and she told me that he's lucky thats all he got

I woke DS up and he told me that everything's ok and I have to stay out of it.

I am obviously shocked if his gf is pregnant but i'm more worried about the assault that has occurred

What should I do

For Christ sake I had risky sex as a teenager and a young adult I knew what I was doing I luckily didn't end up.pregnant or worse! Both young people are at fault here and if pregnant one is a "careless shit" so is the other or unlucky .

Branleuse, I agree with you about the violence aspect. A man punching another man is completely different to a man hitting his daughter. If a one off punch was enough to to deem one's children to be 'at risk', then the At Risk register would be miles long and half the kids in the country would be on it!

Ignore the second random pregnant

I do see a grown man hitting a pregnant teenage girl as being more severe than a man hitting a lad of equal size and power to him. Especially when that lad has just fucked up his daughters life. I imagine he is also furious with his daughter. It's a fucked up situation. He is likely both pissed off, upset and possibly terrified too for her future.

Punching the boy was the wrong move, but in the real world, i can't imagine many people would be massively surprised by it. I'd cut him some slack

Branleuse

anyone advising people to go to police over this rather than attempting to smooth over the situation to achieve best outcome for the teenagers concerned and possible baby, are being really ireepsonsible in a very sensitive and delicate situation

They're all enjoying their righteous fury, without looking down the road or empathising with how parents feel when their DD's life has been royally fucked. Not just their DD's either, just as they're getting free of young children themselves, back into the nappy age. It's also unrealistic to pretend that teenage boys don't persistently nag and pressure girlfriends for sex. Yes the girl is responsible too, but the peer pressure seems to be extreme.

Hang on, so now OPs son pressured the girl into sex? Are you lot for real?! Lots of girls at 17 have sex willingly, just because she is pregnant all of a sudden he's coerced her into sex?! Ffs

Fresta the reason half of them aren't is because resources are thin and they have to prioritise. It's not because it's deemed 'ok'.

You do realise that lots of children are at risk but not on any register don't you? Please tell me you know this.
Want to know another reason why many aren't on it... because people turn a blind eye to it.

And when a child DOES finally get noticed, do you think they get noticed the very first time it's happened? no - by then people often say 'we did suspect something before as the parents were quite aggressive'.

Most 'knocked about' kids never get noticed.

This bloke punched someone. It's assault unless it was in self-defence. If people want to invent their own little laws because it suits the purpose of maintaining contact with a baby, so be it, but the law is the law and assault is assault.

Woman can do no wrong on here they can murder there partners lie about pregnancy steal from elderly people abuse disabled people and as long as the victim is male they must of deserved it...

Tom, no, the reason they aren't on any register is because the child wouldn't be thought to be at risk from dad if he punched another man in an argument one time. It's human nature that men will fight, it's only our society laws that suppresses it- that's why it's such a common offence and not exactly rare. Most aggressive men don't beat their daughters. Look how often little boys (and girls) get into fights- it's natural behaviour! It's not ideal, it's not desirable or socially acceptable in modern society- but it doesn't automatically make someone a child abuser either.

What he did to your son was not okay. No question. However, if he doesn't want to report it that should be his decision. I know he's still legally a minor but he could become a father soon, at which point being a minor means bugger all. This is up to him.
But seriously, get your priorities in order. Your DS and his gf were either careless or unlucky. They both have responsibility to look after the child, should she decide to keep it. Make that part very clear to your son. Over the next 18+ years, they will BOTH be raising the child, paying for it's food, clothes, toys. They will both be putting the child first, ahead of the lifestyle many young people have. This will change both of their lives, yours as well. Meet up with the other family, talk with them about this. You don't have to be happy about this but you do have to support them.
Good luck Op,

but it doesn't automatically make someone a child abuser either.
I don't believe anybody suggested it did, however, concerns about child welfare aren't only about being on the end of violence, it's about witnessing it.
Children who witness violence in the home - no matter who it's between are considered to be at risk. However, yes, it IS so commonplace that it's low priority and never gets addressed because there are worse things going on.

Presumably the people justifying your son being punched are people who lash out at their own kids if angry enough.

Hope your son is ok this afternoon. I think the Police should be involved if your son wants it. If not respect his wishes.
I hope his relationship with his GF doesn't suffer due to her father's actions.

“Woman can do no wrong on here they can murder there partners lie about pregnancy steal from elderly people abuse disabled people and as long as the victim is male they must of deserved it...”
Such bollocks.

And it’s bollocks because the overwhelming majority of posters on here have told the OP to go to the police, and believe that the punch is more significant than the pregnancy.

It's not that women can do no wrong, but it's quite clear that the girl and her family will be dealing with the consequences of this unprotected sex for much longer and in a much more real way than anybody else.

Juells

I agree. I also expect that there are two very different sides to this story.

OpalTree
Presumably the people justifying your son being punched are people who lash out at their own kids if angry enough.

My family is the most pacific, easy-going lot that you could find. I certainly never punched my children, neither did my ex. But I can understand why someone would feel violent about their DD's life being fucked up. Even if she has an abortion, that's a huge thing for a family to deal with. And it's easier to direct your anger at a stranger than at your beloved child.

Bit late to the party here.

I hope your son is OK today, Buffet. I'd be straight onto the police if it was me.

I would like to know what went on before the punch not because it justifies the punch but because it will give greater detail in to the people that the OP is dealing with.

For the GF's family
vicious twat or bloke that lost it due to obnoxious teen.
For the OP
innocent victim or poor choice for the father of the child.

Wow, me and DH would be straight round the parents house and DH would have to hold me back from punching the father myself! I can't believe anyone thinks it's ok for a grown man to punch a 17 year old, pregnancy or no pregnancy! If the OP had slapped the girl would people think it was ok??

Do people really think the punch is more of a pressing issue than the pregnancy?

In Scotland , there is a Getting It Right For Every Child.

Why should the pregnancy excuse an adult for punching someone? It shows a distinct lack of control.
There is nothing anybody can do about the pregnancy until the GF & OPs son (hopefully) make a decision. And plastering over physical assault paves the way for the father to think he is in charge

Do people really think the punch is more of a pressing issue than the pregnancy?

No, hopefully not, but the topic of the AIBU is regarding the punch so this has drawn the comment.