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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I the only one who thinks this assault is not ok

419 replies

BuffetTHEvampireSLAYER · 06/01/2019 01:23

I am absolutely fuming.

DS 17 was on a night out and returned with a bruise on his face, when I questioned it he said he was messing around with his friends and he went to bed.

I have since had a phone call from his girlfriends mother who informed me that her daughter is pregnant and her husband punched my DS and she told me that he's lucky thats all he got

I woke DS up and he told me that everything's ok and I have to stay out of it.

I am obviously shocked if his gf is pregnant but i'm more worried about the assault that has occurred

What should I do Sad

OP posts:
HopefullyAnonymous · 06/01/2019 01:49

Some very odd comments on this thread Hmm

You can report the assault, yes. However if your son is unwilling to give a statement/pursue a complaint it’s unlikely to go anywhere. If it was my son I would report it; it’s completely unacceptable for an adult to assault a child, which by law he still is. I appreciate tensions will be high given the news but that is no excuse.

HopefullyAnonymous · 06/01/2019 01:53

And all this “if someone got my daughter pregnant” nonsense is exactly that - nonsense. I’m assuming she is also responsible for contraception (or lack of) in the relationship. It’s far from an ideal situation but not your son’s fault any more or less than it is hers.

Weenurse · 06/01/2019 01:53

Use this as an opportunity to talk about safe sex as well.
They are old enough to make their own decisions

Pieceofpurplesky · 06/01/2019 01:54

Don't do anything until the morning and you have spoken to your son. If you report it he may be furious and cut you out completely.

Atchiclees · 06/01/2019 01:54

I would report it too if this was my son. The pregnancy is going to be taking up a vast amount of worry for his GF and your son, but I would be livid as nothing excuses assault and then the verbal abuse from the GF’s mother, even when tensions are running high.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 06/01/2019 01:55

Does their logic extend to that as he has thumped your son for making a baby that you can thump their daughter for being party to it?

Ffs. He’s lucky that’s all he got? Neanderthals. What a lovely set of role models they will be.

I would make a statement to the police. It’s up to your son what he wishes to do and I’d imagine he doesn’t want to cause any more upset with his now ‘family’ but he has to set a line which cannot be crossed.

Teenagers are taught that contraception is both parties responsibility- quite frankly with all the STIs the nicest thing you get from unprotected sex is a baby.

I would phone the police and ask for their advice. In any other context you wouldn’t think twice about it. He has been assaulted by an adult.

WH1SPERS · 06/01/2019 01:55

I can undertand that you are worried about his face. But you have bigger things to worry about , like his education and his future. I assume he is planning to leave school / college and get a job to support his child ?

Are he and his Gf planning to move in together? If not, is he going to continue to live with you and have his child to live if he’s old enoughwith him half the time at your house ?

If he’s old enough to make a baby he’s old enough to care for and support one.

CathyBigBalls · 06/01/2019 01:56

Then try and speak to the childs mum about getting this young girl a termination.

It’s really not up to this young woman’s mum on whether she terminates her baby or not. It is completely her decision and if OP should speak to anyone about it then it should be her not her mum!.

OP, you really need to talk to your son about this. He seems to just be brushing off such a big thing.

ReanimatedSGB · 06/01/2019 01:56

The assault is more worrying than the (presumably unplanned) pregnancy - which isn't great, but these things happen. I'd be concerned for the GF, too, if her parents are this primitive.

Reporting the assault may not be the best thing to do if it's going to inflame the girl's shitty father into further poor behaviour. Or it may be a necessary thing to do if the GF is likely to need support/rehousing if she wants to continue the pregnancy. Probably best to sleep on it, and talk to your son in the morning.

Pemba · 06/01/2019 02:00

Like a pp said, I wouldn't report it. If the girlfriend keeps the baby you will be connected to this family far into the future. So it might be advisable not to give your possible co-grandparent a criminal record . Yes, the father shouldn't have done it but feelings were running high. I would try and talk to the family, but make it clear to the girl's dad that any further assaults WILL be reported.

The decision at to what to do about the pregnancy is completely the girl's, of course. If she keeps the baby your son will have to support his child, although probably not financially while he is still in education. If he was old enough to have sex he is old enough to face up to his responsibilities, with your help.

I also don't really like the way you are completely focused on the punch rather than the pregnancy.

Jaxtellerswife · 06/01/2019 02:00

Speak to her mum about abortion 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️Hmm
Good grief
It's assault on someone that hasn't done anything illegal. I'd want my son to call the police but yes, you need to get talking about the pregnancy too.
Good luck

Walkingdeadfangirl · 06/01/2019 02:01

So your son gets another persons wife pregnant and you are worried about a punch? Get your priorities straight!

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 06/01/2019 02:02

@Walkingdeadfangirl it’s not his wife, it’s his 17 year old daughter

Walkingdeadfangirl · 06/01/2019 02:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ExFury · 06/01/2019 02:05

Don’t call the police ffs.

Your son is potentially going to be a father. How he deals with this situation with her father is for him decide.

You need to let him know that he can talk to you openly without you taking decisions out of his hands.

He’s already chosen not to tell you what happened. For whatever reason he wasn’t ready or willing to tell you tonight. If you do something like calling the police without discussing it with him then the chances of him talking to you about anything else are blown. Possibly forever.

Bluestitch · 06/01/2019 02:05

I wouldn't call the police, your son doesn't want you to and whilst he was wrong to punch him feelings were running high. You are upset that your son has a bruise on his face, he's probably worried that his daughter is going to have to go through an abortion, or cope with a pregnancy, give birth, be left holding the baby, ruin her education etc.

MinorRSole · 06/01/2019 02:07

I would definitely be speaking to my son about reporting the assault but I wouldn't go behind his back.
I disagree about the "bigger things to worry about" comment - perfectly possible to be concerned by both!

The girlfriends father cannot just go around punching people and I doubt he will learn that without this assault being reported.

The pregnancy is a separate issue and I would advise handling that calmly - it doesn't sound like the maternal grandparents will so the young couple need someone sane to discuss this with. Let them make their own choice but be there to support them either way. Not a lot else you can do at this stage.

sleepylittlebunnies · 06/01/2019 02:08

The OP’s DS has got his 17 year old GF pregnant not a married woman.

whatsthepointthen · 06/01/2019 02:09

The op actually said she was “far more concerned” by the punch...

SeaGreenSeaGlass · 06/01/2019 02:09

I'm surprised that people are minimising this. There's a police campaign just now about how one punch can ruin a life--including causing death.
One punch to the face /head is potentially lethal. This man should not get the message that is an okay response to the news.

SeaGreenSeaGlass · 06/01/2019 02:10

Here's a link to the "one punch can kill". campaign

www.1pck.org.uk/

nocoolnamesleft · 06/01/2019 02:10

This was assault, and unacceptable. But I'm not convinced that calling the police on the potential grandfather of your potential grandchild (should she choose to continue the pregnancy) is going to be helpful to your son at this point. You need to sit down and have a chat with him, in the morning, as a first step. Don't do anything in haste. Doing stuff in haste, because they're still your child, is how an aggressive parent thumped your son.

SuchAToDo · 06/01/2019 02:13

I would report him to the police,

He punched your son in the face, that is not ok...getting your girlfriend pregnant is never a free pass to be punched ..

I would call the police and report it, because assuming your son and girlfriend are going to bring up the baby together, how is your son and even the baby ever going to safe around this monster who feels it's ok to punch someone,

He needs to be taught that you can't treat people this way,..if you don't call the police then your grandchild could be stuck with that monster, what's he going to do when the baby cries and he loses his patience with it?..punch it because it won't be quiet like he wants it to be...

Call the police, don't let it drop, there's a unborn baby to consider in all of this

tablelegs · 06/01/2019 02:15

Both kids over the age of consent.

I would be absolutely fucking raging at the gfs dad.

What would they say if you had slapped or punched their daughter? Bet they wouldn't be happy about that!

JustABetterPlayer · 06/01/2019 02:15

Yes calling the police on the grandfather of the unborn child, good call. They are both idiots, a mere bruise is the least of his worries.

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