Am I the only one who thinks this assault is not ok

[BuffetTHEvampireSLAYER]

I am absolutely fuming.

DS 17 was on a night out and returned with a bruise on his face, when I questioned it he said he was messing around with his friends and he went to bed.

I have since had a phone call from his girlfriends mother who informed me that her daughter is pregnant and her husband punched my DS and she told me that he's lucky thats all he got

I woke DS up and he told me that everything's ok and I have to stay out of it.

I am obviously shocked if his gf is pregnant but i'm more worried about the assault that has occurred

What should I do

It’s obviously not ok to around punching people in the face.
I would be asking a lot more questions though.
Was the punch just because his daughter is pregnant or was it because his daughter is pregnant and your son is being a dick and not supporting her or did your son give him a mouth full of abuse etc.
I could understand how frustration with your son being a mouthy sod who was leaving his GF to deal with stuff on her own might cause someone to lose their temper.
Not saying that these are the circumstances but I would get the full facts before I waded in.

Two different issues I think.
But I think some (inc me) don't agree that the pregnancy issue is a reason to turn a blind eye to an assault.

To understand why somebody might turn a blind eye doesn't mean they have to agree with it.

It's hard to see how both sets of parents are going to be able to act maturely when at least half the parents condone the hitting of the lad. It doesn't make for a good foundation for the lad or girl to turn to adults for some sensible advice (at least not in my opinion).

The pregnancy is the most important thing - since decisions have to be made either way, and time is of the essence, but the girl's parents have placed a stumbling block in the way by condoning the violence. It puts fear into someone and fear can lead to bad decisions being made.

If he was my son I’d be angry at his assault. I would also feel upset that my daughter was pregnant at such a young age. However.... they are potentially going to become parents. And your sons ability to turn a blind eye to this assault given the circumstances and put it down to experience, in my opinion shows that he has respect for this man and for his gf. I personally would call back. State that obviously no further assault would be tolerated. That you are on hand for support and you should make it clear that she (his gf) won’t be pushed out by you here either. You could be seeing a whole lot of each other soon so I wouldn’t alienate yourself or your son with her parents. And this is your grandchild focus on that and follow your sons lead. He will appreciate that.

It is never okay to resort to violence. That aside, if the pregnancy continues this father will quite likely be providing money, food, housing, childcare to his daughter and grandchild for years to come. I don't think it would help anyone to bring criminal charges against him.

It is never okay to resort to violence.

I agree

That aside, if the pregnancy continues this father will quite likely be providing money, food, housing, childcare to his daughter and grandchild for years to come.

We have no idea that this will happen or thier financial arrangements.

I don't think it would help anyone to bring criminal charges against him

I do, I think it sends a clear message that this behaviour is not acceptable.

I confess to having not read the whole thread... but obviously the assault isn’t okay. It is, however, not up to you to report it to the police but your son. He is the one who will need to make a witness statement and it is his choice whether it is reported or not. You can advise him, but I wouldn’t interfere beyond that.

The pregnancy creates a potentially complex and long term family dynamic which your son may have to navigate. He is best placed to decide how he wants to play it. I can see why he doesn’t want to get the police involved in all honesty.

The assault and the pregnancy are of course unrelated issues on the face of it, but clearly the latter has the potential to tie the parties to each other forever and so it is overly simplistic to say they can be considered in isolation. If he had punched him because he cheated on his gf, for example, it becomes a much simpler equation.

He is the one who will need to make a witness statement and it is his choice whether it is reported or not.

I want to put this myth to bed.
The victim does not have to be the one to report an assault. Nor does the victim have to give a statement. It helps, of course it does, but it is not necessary.

If my future grandchild had a grandfather who thought it was ok to punch people in the face I'd quite like his violent nature to be known to the police.

In this set of circumstances, without a victims cooperation it will go nowhere fast.
Report it if you feel it is right but police won't lift a finger.....

Agreed they won't do much - might have a word at best.
Though should, but they won't. It's small fry in the grand scheme.

your sons ability to turn a blind eye to this assault given the circumstances and put it down to experience, in my opinion shows that he has respect for this man and for his gf

Or he might be fucking terrified...

I've yet to meet anybody who had respect for someone who hit them. Fear, resentment, hatred, yes, but respect? nope.

Why would he respect his gf's father for being violent?

Tornfromtheinside Agreed, but there has to be a witness who will testify. That is unlikely. OP is not a witness. Hearsay is not admissible.

or CCTV

My sister got pregnant at 15 and my parents were stunned,shocked,furious at both my sister and her boyfriend at the time but never did they assault anyone over it.

Obviously everythingpissesmeoff everyone ereacts differently and not always in the best manner. I personally wouldn’t punch anyone but I can see it happening in the heat of the Moment . If he had kicked the shit out of the boy then yeah I’d be reporting.

OP seems to have disappeared pages ago...

All I really want to know is are you okay @BuffetTHEvampireSLAYER ??

I feel for you..I really do. I'd be at my wits end if I knew my DS had been assaulted by a grow man. Yes, he and his girlfriend should've been more careful but accidents happen sometimes.
No contraception is 100% how many people have fallen pregnant on the pill or with a condom for Christ sake?!
You people don't know if she's on the pill and you don't know if he used a condom, they can both fail, it's rare but it does happen trust me I know!
I dread to think how your DS and his girlfriend are feeling today.
I hope you manage to sort things out, please don't force her into a termination. It is her decision ultimately.