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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’ve done something very stupid (work related)

224 replies

NewYearsSleeve · 05/01/2019 23:59

I work for a small business from my employers home office & I hate it. I’ve been working with a recruitment agency for a while trying to find something different. The agency sent my CV to another small business with my agreement but I’ve just found out the owner of the other business is friends with my boss. I’ve got an angry message from my boss asking me what I’m doing looking for another job as she thought we were friends and telling me not to expect a reference. WIBU not to go in on Monday? My boss can be intimidating & bullies people. (One of the reasons I hate working for her).

OP posts:
Pearpickinpenguin · 06/01/2019 00:45

Have you officially been fired?
If so, what was the reason?
If you have not been fired and have proof of above mentioned abuses then you have no option but to leave and bring your employer to court for constructive dismissal which is basically them forcing you to quit. I am in Ireland so I cannot go into legalities with you as they may be different there but look into this. You cannot be forced out of a job unless you have done something wrong and it is actually illegal to not get a reference from a past employer. I would also look into GDPR for the agency allowing your details to be passed on to your employer. All is not lost.

Geordiegirl79 · 06/01/2019 00:47

Very good advice from Pearpickinpenguin.

Whatisthisworldcomingtoo · 06/01/2019 00:48

I wouldn't go back, but I would fight the injustice and lack of professionalisn.

Yabbers · 06/01/2019 00:53

All companies must have some sort of HR - who does the contracts, hiring, pay roll etc?
My sister rubs her own company. She does all this. You really think someone with a home office has a PR dept?

Nanny0gg · 06/01/2019 00:58

She hasn't been there a year so there is no 'constructive dismissal'.

Sadly she hasn't a leg to stand on.

When were you last paid, OP? The concern will be getting what she owes you.

Original poster
NewYearsSleeve · 06/01/2019 01:04

I’m paid on the 28th every month so luckily not owed anything much.

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 06/01/2019 01:05

Just put references on request, problem solved.

Singlenotsingle · 06/01/2019 01:07

Sorry penguin but that's incorrect. OP hasn't been employed for 2 years so hasn't got the right to claim unfair dismissal, or constructive u/d. With regard to references, there is no obligation on an employer to give a reference. If they do give one (good or bad) it has to be honest and accurate and give a true portrayal of the situation.

PoliticalBiscuit · 06/01/2019 01:09

Reply to your boss and say "God, what a nightmare! I'm speaking with the recruitment consultant to see what on earth has gone on, I registered with them a year ago"

Newdad19 · 06/01/2019 01:12

You go in and stand your fucking ground. You are more than entitled to suss out the job market and what else is out there. Likewise no-one should ever put up with a boss shouting or throwing things. Value yourself.

shiningstar2 · 06/01/2019 01:13

Make sure you keep evidence of the threatening message. If applying elsewhere it would at least e proof of why you can't get a reference.

Windinmyhair · 06/01/2019 01:22

I'd front it out - say you had a call from the recruitment agent and told them to submit cv without thinking about it too much. you hadn't really had plans to move and would have had a conversation with her about it had it gone anywhere at all - wasn't really something you were paying much attention to/you were just wondering what was out there in terms of development progression - so you could take ideas to her from other roles with progression elements for your job with her.

Play it down/bullshit her.

And keep looking for jobs.

FortunesFave · 06/01/2019 01:30

Doved do you even know what a small business is? Grin HR indeed! I work for a small business where the couple who own it are everything combined. They do the pay, the running of the business, the only outside help they have is from a financial wiz who does their tax.

Pearpickinpenguin · 06/01/2019 01:49

Sorry as I am in Ireland and things are clearly different here then I was giving advice where I should not have.

MadameGerbil · 06/01/2019 04:23

Contact the Agency, explain to them what has happened with their client disclosing your personal info.to your current employer. Get them to fix it for you by getting you s new job with a decent professional employer who does not breach GDPR. Agent should have announced your current employers name and just stayed the sector, similarly they should conceal your full name to avoid social media / LinkedIn lookups. You could report Employment Agency to relevant trade body of they.messed this up so badly. Check with them first they might help you out.

MadameGerbil · 06/01/2019 04:25
  • anonymised not announced!
Returning2thesceneofthecrime · 06/01/2019 05:00

I don’t think the agency screwed up. I think their client screwed up. I’m sure that you would be covered by GDPR in some way.

Contact the agency and let them know what happened.

Go in on Monday and be professional. If there is any shouting or drama, pack up an leave and again contact the agency to explain the situation to them. They should be worried about covering either their backside or that of their client and therefore willing to help you as much as possible.

It isn’t the end of the world and you don’t have to put up with a job in which you are treated badly.

Jenny17 · 06/01/2019 05:00

Most references just confirm dates of employment, push comes to shove the accountant could confirm this.

Just talk to your boss on Monday.

RebootYourEngine · 06/01/2019 05:23

How unprofessional of both the other employer and your boss.

You say you have only been there about a year. Is this a new company or an old one? I would want to know what happened to the last person who worked for her.

daisychain01 · 06/01/2019 06:03

I’m now left jobless and without a reference. I don’t know what to do or how to get a new job without a reference

@NewYearsSleeve are you still working at your current employers or did they dismiss you?

Firstly, you have every right to apply for a new job whenever you like, so don't feel you are trapped. The fact your employer got angry is their problem not yours. You can prove your employment dates via your offer letter plus payslips even if they refuse to give you a reference. Don't worry about their threats.

Do you have an employment contract? Check what your notice period is. Even if they don't want you to work for them anymore, they are contractually obliged to pay you your notice period, during which they'll either want you to serve your time working there, or they can let you go. If they don't pay your contractual notice, you can claim for wrongful dismissal.

blackcat86 · 06/01/2019 06:04

I would contact the agency and tell them what has happened. If you are worried that you will be treated in a threatening/aggressive way by your boss or her husband then please prioritise your safety. If you feel able to go in, play down the incident and be ready to leave if you need to then do so. Keep evidence of any threatening behaviour.

The agency have presumably already taken you on so talk to them about references. Once accepted on to the books a lot of agencies won't require additional checks for you to then start work. Equally, you still need to make them aware but your current boss sounds unhinged and may try to bad mouth you if you stay in the same sector.

daisychain01 · 06/01/2019 06:07

And for the time being, don't resign if they haven't dismissed you. You do have basic employment rights, so you need to let them indicate their next steps rather than you being forced out,

soberexpat · 06/01/2019 06:08

I'm a small business owner and if this was one of my team and we were friends, I'd be trying to understand what it is about the current role that has made you look elsewhere.

And what it is about the new role that attracts you.

If you're good at your job and a friend I'd be trying to keep you, not mouthing off at you.

flumpybear · 06/01/2019 06:18

I'd go in and talk to her, tell her you're looking for a new role for progression and more money. Tell her also that you're now concerned that her as a sole employer seems to be wanting to sabotage your job and career which is unprofessional

Remain calm and collected. Speak to the CAB too, you can probably take her to small claim court if she refuses to pay what's owed assuming she owes you for January's pay so far

Speak to the recruiter too as they've caused this problem and whether they can act as middle man somehow for the reference

GnomeDePlume · 06/01/2019 06:22

Don't worry about the 'no reference' threat.

No company I have worked for has ever given personal references. All they have done is confirmed employment dates. That is pretty much standard I think.

When the boot has been on the other foot and I have been the recruiter confirmation of dates is all I have looked for. Even then I didn't always get it.

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