To "break-up" with a friend?

[trustyrustie]

Long standing friend (25 years) and over the last few years I have really started to seriously dislike this person. Many reasons.

Anyway I've tried distancing myself, declining invites saying I'm busy, leaving long gaps between replies but she is not taking the hint.

She's started texting and whatsapping the same messages to me and even texting my husband when I don't reply.

I really don't want to spend any time with her and I'm running out of excuses as to why I can't meet up, how on earth do you break up with a friend?

Please give me advice!! I would struggle to be really brutal to her as despite my decision I don't have any ill will towards her whatsoever.

Tell her face to face. It's the only way she'll understand.

I broke up with a friend in the middle of last year. Best thing I’ve done in ages. If you want to do it, do it. You don’t owe friends anything.

If you don't have any ill will towards her why don't you want to be friends any more? Are you absolutely sure?

Klob how did u do it?

Bibby yes I'm totally sure, I can't, I just can't......

It’s easy - man up and tell her

And tell her why.

After 25 years she deserves an explanation

Redsky I know, I was thinking that also but I was hoping she would just catch the hint and stop bothering
Me

She’s not bothering you... she’s just continuing the friendship and giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Man up. You don’t sound very nice tbh

Maybe I'm not

We're just not compatible anymore!

I feel sorry for your friend. You sound like you find her a nuisance and you're probably making her feel like rubbish.
A hint as to why you've gone off her might help people advise.

Why would that help? What difference would knowing why make?

Out of interest OP, why do u want to stop being friends?

It works help people know what to advise you to say to her. Isn’t that what you were asking?

What they said ^

I cut all contact. Blocked on social media, deleted phone number. Haven’t spoken in six months now and my life is infinitely better. I was sad for a while, I do occasionally miss the friendship but this person was dragging me down and overall I feel a lot freer.

Klob did u ever have the 'convo'?

Why would that help? What difference would knowing why make?

It'll stop her wondering about it endlessly. The friendship is obviously important to her (hardly surprising after 25 years) and knowing why will stop her ruminating - worrying if there's been a misunderstanding or if she did something wrong, will it happen with her other friendships etc.

You don't sound very nice tbh, after 25years, man up and tell herein she can move on and get closure. Especially if she hasn't done anything wrong, sounds like you are just bored with her. I think ghosting is nasty if she has done nothing to hurt or upset you.

Telling her kindly, honestly and wishing her well would be far nicer than your current strategy.

You sound deeply unpleasant. Sounds like you're treating your 'friend' of 25 years like crap, then come on here for advice and get all snippy with people asking for more background.

Oh God. I’ve got a friend who I can tell is distancing me. Last few times we met have been painful. Then I realised that I was the one pushing to meet up when it just wasn’t fun for either of us; for reasons unknown, she doesn’t like me anymore.

Think that gradually distancing is probably the kindest thing than bringing her flaws out in stark daylight by telling her why you no longer want to be friends

I never said she hadn't done anything wrong, she's done PLENTY

Anyway if you can't offer advice you don't need to post on the thread eh

Clearly there’s going to be a huge drip feed of some unforgivable antics perpetrated by The Friend. Can you just post it sooner rather than later please?