To try and persuade DD to not get a tattoo?

[TurquoiseSeal]

DD plays a video game (a lot) and is almost 19. She wants her first tattoo and has had a design done which is literally a character from the game. As she's so young, it might seem cool now, but I really think it's the type you're going to regret, she won't play this game forever. She plans on using the birthday money from us (she is a uni student so doesn't have another way to fund it really) so I'm slightly reluctant to now give money on her birthday. AIBU to have these feelings and persuade her or?

IMO there’s nothing more beautiful than people minding their own sodding business when it comes to what others do, or do not do, with their bodies. 😉

I agree with this.

I'm in my 30s and have a couple of friends who had tattoos done in their late teens/ early 20s and their partners don't know, they just make sure their clothes cover them when they visit. She'll get it done anyway and not tell you.

I love the idea about paying not to have a tattoo, I may well offer that one myself (I'm not a fan of tattoos either).

I would also attempt to dissuade my DD from having one, although she is years away from that yet hopefully

Notaclever,
The thing is, regarding your children (also young adults) it is a parents' responsability to guide and advise on consequences.
When your dcs bring things up in conversation your are entitled to have a different opinion, and NOT pay for things you don't agree with.
Being scared of being called a shit parent for trying to instate some values, is understandable, but not how you parent imo.

You shouldn't even really be voicing your opinion to her; she's old enough to have a tattoo now.

I disagree. Just because your child is old enough to do something legally doesn't mean you should never voice your opinion about it. The benefit of age is experience. I think parents should still offer guidance to adult children, but whether they take it is up to them.

I’m heavily tattooed and would happily pay for my kids first tattoos to avoid them going to dodgy places.

HOWEVER if it is fortnite no! Just no! No no no no no

I have tattoo’s. Am a professional.

Clearly not an English teacher though.

Am how many people think paying an adult child not get a tattoo is a good idea! Sounds insane to me!

I wouldn't pay.

It's not my decision.

I dislike tattoos.

I would accept if they wanted to have one done.
My 21 yo DS does have a tattoo, he didn't need my permission.
My 18 yo DD thinks they are ugly (thankfully) , but she comes from a ballet aethetic where tattoos are not valued.

I agree 19 is too young

I told my kids that whilst they lived under my roof there were to be no motorbikes and no tattoos.

I figured once they were old enough to be able to live alone (mid 20's onwards) they'd be mature enough to make the right choice.

Good luck OP

Sorry for the delay. She wants it small and on her wrist. I'm not sure who the champion is or what they are called but it's from the game Overwatch. She wants it like a sketch feel with watercolour. I don't like watercolour tattoos so I'm biased anyway.

I think it seems reasonable enough for me to not give money knowing she will use it on the tattoo. Thank you.

She wants it small and on her wrist

So very easy to cover then.

Can’t see the angst.

I was desssparate for a specific tattoo at 18 and I was told I'm not allowed to do it, there was a right stink up and I didn't do it because it wasn't worth the agro. I'm now 23 and oh my god I'm so glad I didn't do it I'd hate it now! Your opinions and style change so much at a yound age and honestly I wouldn't until I was in my late 20s and only if I was sure after three years. You only get one body and waiting a few years is much better than hating it for 50

My brother has tattoos and his artist always makes sure that he waits six months between them choosing the tattoo and then he will do it six months later if they still want them.

Maybe have a look around near you to see if an artist does that?

If it was me, I wouldn't be giving my daughter any money for her bday but a gift instead.

A delaying tactic I know though sooner or later she will find the funds to get it done herself.

I got my first two tattoos when I was 18. Neither are exactly what I would pick if I were to start from scratch, but both still hold meaning from the person I was when I got them. That said, neither of them are gaming related.

I've since been much more hesitant to get more just because I'm more picky about the designs (have had one more, currently planning my 4th which will probably be done shortly after my 34th birthday.)

Could you look into something like Inkbox and buy her some temporary tattoos of the design she wants so she can wear it on her skin for a while and see what she really thinks of it? Possibly even engage with her and look through a selection of designs that might be a little more timeless, but would still hold some meaning for her, and still appeal to her interests. There are some very subtle gaming/fandom tattoos amongst the following;
www.inkbox.com/categories/gaming-and-fandom-tattoos?page=0&size=all

Yabu. Nobody gets tattoos because they think they're 'cool' anyway.

My dd has spent over £1000 getting tattoos lasered and is left with huge ugly keloid scarring

And they're frightfully common !

And they're frightfully common

Anyone else read that in 'that' voice and roll their eyes as well?

Yep, Hyacinth Bucket is in the building

YANBU to feel you don't want her to have it but to withhold a birthday present so she can't do it is probably not a great idea. Will just make her more determined. I have quite a few tattoos that I regret but it's not really that big of a deal. I didn't even tell my mum I was getting them and I doubt she would have tried to stop me anyway. At 19 she is capable of making her own decisions about her body.

Meh one of the tattoos I want is from a long ago ancient game I loved at the time and I'm 43.

Personally rather than put her off I would research decent tattoests with a waiting list and offer to help pay for it. These waiting lists can go on for months. If she doesn't change her mind in the meantime then I would stand by my word. You might find she will.

Putting her off will just make it more attractive and more likely to end up with a shit one.

I think you're within your right to advise her to wait. I'm heavily tattooed and would advise my kids the same. Especially if it's related to a fleeting cultural reference!

However, you do have to accept that she's an adult and ultimately the decision is hers. Make your feelings known and then leave her to do what she thinks is best.

YANBU, she'll change her mind about eleventy-billion times about what she likes in next ten years. And it's not really young and edgy anymore, far more middle-aged styleee now.

I was 28 when I finally got my long wanted Triforder tattoo. My mum hates tattoos. That did not stop me.