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AIBU?

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Original poster

To try and persuade DD to not get a tattoo?

294 replies

TurquoiseSeal · 03/01/2019 05:10

DD plays a video game (a lot) and is almost 19. She wants her first tattoo and has had a design done which is literally a character from the game. As she's so young, it might seem cool now, but I really think it's the type you're going to regret, she won't play this game forever. She plans on using the birthday money from us (she is a uni student so doesn't have another way to fund it really) so I'm slightly reluctant to now give money on her birthday. AIBU to have these feelings and persuade her or?

OP posts:
DanielRicciardosSmile · 03/01/2019 10:33

@Mumminmum why are you embarrassed by a tattoo on someone else's body? Seems an extreme reaction.

WhoTookTheChristmasCookie · 03/01/2019 10:33

@Mumminmum Yep. That definitely happened. Grin

I'd rather have a niece with a 'badly done' tattoo over a judgemental, rude aunt.
Have you told your niece you're embarrassed by her tattoos? Very curious to hear what her response to you was, I know mine wouldn't be too polite.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 03/01/2019 10:46

I love the idea of paying them not to get one. I’m so doing that.

Furrycushion · 03/01/2019 10:54

It's her choice but I think suggesting she waits a few months to see if she wants to same design is a good idea. My DD slightly older than yours has talked about getting a (tiny) tattoo but was shocked at how much they cost so she hadn't got round to it. Show her the twins programme that was on last night with the presenters screaming in pain having tattoos done.

NanooCov · 03/01/2019 11:06

Some of the judgement on this thread is unreal.

I am 41 and had three tattoos. I now only have two. The first tattoo (which I loved and was beautiful) I had removed because of its placement. I would encourage her to think about placement but other than that don't "forbid" - it can only backfire.

I work in a professional role in the city and am currently considering another tattoo.

bobstersmum · 03/01/2019 11:28

I have tattoos from when I was trying to be different when I was very young, I absolutely hate them now they are so naff. I really wish I hadn't. The trend for young girls and young women having these sleeve things is awful imo, think yourself lucky she's not wanting one of those op!

HoppingPavlova · 03/01/2019 11:31

Employers may be of an older generation and regard tattoos as only suitable for sailors or criminals.

Uhhmm, unless you are talking about Grace Bros with Old Mr Grace/Young Mr Grace, I’m not really sure who/where this would be now.

I’m in my 50’s, have always been a professional and have not encountered this either with employment. I have also employed lots of people who have them and these are junior doctors in A&E’s. Shock, horror a lot even have those stretched piercings in ears these days as standard (both sexes) and ‘modern’ haircuts and vibrant hair colours. Again, shockingly, I employed them in the basis of skill and ability as I really thought patients may prefer this over someone incompetent but without a tattoo/piercings/modern hair do.

I have however had the odd patient who kicked off about it and demanded someone else. Mind you you also got the odd one who wanted a man as women are incompetent apparently. Their right but in these situations people are funnily busy for a looooong period of time before someone ‘suitable’ can get to them.

So yeah, you will get the odd person who holds these views. They are either quite elderly and not likely to be working let alone hiring OR just absolute arseholes so then it’s a case of dodging a bullet.

Marcipex · 03/01/2019 11:50

My manager was showing people an animal photo on his phone. I couldn't tell what it was, maybe a hyena, or a jackal?
It turned out it was meant to be a wolf and was his sons tattoo. Oops.
The son has arms like sticks so I wonder what it will look like if he bulks up at all in his twenties.

greendale17 · 03/01/2019 11:52

A character from a video game? Guaranteed she will regret that in 10 years

Ghanagirl · 03/01/2019 11:55

@HowamIgoingtocope
A lot of people and employers think the same way though.
I can’t think of anything thing worse than by DC’s literally drawing over their beautiful perfect skin.
You’re free to graffiti over own your skin but can you really not see why OP doesn’t want her child to do ruin their body at such a young age.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 03/01/2019 11:55

Not necessarily. I've been playing the same game for nearly 14 years now, not as frequently as I used to but I'd still be happy to get a tattoo based on it.

Colourmylife1 · 03/01/2019 11:59

When my then 18 year old DS wanted to get a tattoo I showed him a photo of my 18 year old self complete with bad perm and ‘80s fashion. I explained that I thought I was the bees knees then but imagine if I still had that same hairstyle now 35 years on. He took the point and never got the tattoo!

Iamdanish · 03/01/2019 12:03

I am so with you.
My daughter wanted one, the only thing you can say is that you don't get it. It is her choice.
What I did was tell dd that I thought her parents had created her to be perfect, and she was ruining our masterpiece 😂.
Also I excelled in pointing out elderies with a little "tired" skin and how their tatooes looked.
She hasn't got one yet, mostly because she is scared of infections and allergic reactions, but one fine day she may have one 😁.

MorrisZapp · 03/01/2019 12:04

Of course you can try to dissuade her. Assuming she lives in your house or nearby and you see her a lot, it would be weird if you stood there silently while she spoke normally because you're not allowed to voice an opinion to an 'adult'.

Most families tell each other how they feel! I remember one comedian saying that having a tattoo was like having a Smiths CD stapled to your forehead. I sometimes muse on the idea but I don't want my feelings today to be visible until I die.

Ghanagirl · 03/01/2019 12:04

@jessstan2
”There's nothing more beautiful than fresh, clean skin”
Agree ^^
”You don't see the Duchess of Cambrige or Zara Tyndall with any tattoos. They are simply gross”
Nor the the Duchess of Sussex but hardly relevant!

MrsJayy · 03/01/2019 12:06

Dd got a tattoo inspired by a tv programme at 18 i didn't understand it but it is her body she got another at 21 it was a design and it is nice a bit "dark" but fine, as long as it wasn't going on her face (I would step in then) then it really isn't any of your business.

ThisTooShallPassInTime · 03/01/2019 12:07

The best thing you can do is make sure she gets a good tattoo.

She’s going to get one regardless, but if you find a good artist who can draw and make her design look excellent then at least she wont have a bad tattoo.

If she gets a cheap one she’ll regret it. Look at the recent thread on here with the wolf tattoo.

Iamdanish · 03/01/2019 12:10

Sorry, elderlies

Ghanagirl · 03/01/2019 12:26

@Iamdanish

What I did was tell dd that I thought her parents had created her to be perfect, and she was ruining our masterpiece 😂.
This sums how I feel perfectly!

MeredithGrey1 · 03/01/2019 12:40

Well, she's an adult so you can't forbid her to get one but I guess you could argue that the money you are planning to give her is a gift, not money she's owed, so obviously just as she's perfectly entitled to get a tattoo, you are perfectly entitled to not give her a particular gift if you don't want to (in the same way that if she asked for a specific item for her birthday that you weren't happy buying you wouldn't be required to buy it). I don't see it going down well though, and really its her body, her mistake to make - I don't have anything against tattoos, I'm just saying that even if you personally think its a mistake, its her mistake and her that will bear the impact of it.

Bluelady · 03/01/2019 12:47

My son is exactly the kind of guy you'd expect to have tattoos, to the point that people have expressed surprise that he hasn't got any. His reasoning is that he's so fickle he'd hate it within days of having it done.

MorrisZapp · 03/01/2019 12:48

Surely she's entitled to get a shit, cheap tattoo and advice about getting a good one should also be verboten because she's an adult and can do as she pleases? Which way are we having this?

Marcipex · 03/01/2019 12:56

Some posters have said the op should 'support' her DD. Why should she support, and pay for, something she objects to?

Thats not being a cool mum, it's being a mug.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 03/01/2019 12:59

DS is considering a tattoo. DH really hates them and for that reason I don't have any, and DS always said he didn't fancy one, but has changed his mind. He won't get one while DH is still alive I don't think, but he has been talking to his aunt about potential designs for the future. I suspect they won't be particularly what I would have chosen either, but it's his body and even if he was to go and get one now, I wouldn't be too bothered.

I suppose the way to look at it is you won't have to live with the design, your dd will, so it's her business.

NotACleverName · 03/01/2019 13:01

IMO there’s nothing more beautiful than people minding their own sodding business when it comes to what others do, or do not do, with their bodies. 😉

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