To try and persuade DD to not get a tattoo?

[TurquoiseSeal]

DD plays a video game (a lot) and is almost 19. She wants her first tattoo and has had a design done which is literally a character from the game. As she's so young, it might seem cool now, but I really think it's the type you're going to regret, she won't play this game forever. She plans on using the birthday money from us (she is a uni student so doesn't have another way to fund it really) so I'm slightly reluctant to now give money on her birthday. AIBU to have these feelings and persuade her or?

I love the idea of a tattoo, but I decided that as it was going to be permanent to wait 6 months and see if I still really want it.

So far no tattoo.

Could you ask her to do the same. maybe even bribe her to do it.

We paid our DD not to get a tattoo before she was 21, though the bribe started at 16. We didn't pay her then, only at 21

Should have updated. She's 23 now and still no tattoo. Neither she nor I are anti-tattoo.

I'm fairly covered in tattoos and I actually have a (retro, game I played as a kid) game tattoo and I think this is a really bad idea. Never get a tattoo of anything you've 'discovered' in the last 5 years. Tastes change, fads expire and what was once 'cool' or 'underground' very often gets jumped on en masse and quickly becomes cringeworthy or tacky. If you have loads of tattoos, and are secure enough in yourself to laugh off the odd dodgy one that's fine but I'd heavily discourage a 'pop culture' first tattoo, especially at a fairly young age.
How would she feel if in 3 years time if in the game's next sequal the character has a storyline she disagrees with?

I said to my daughter that it would be like wearing the same bracelet all day, everyday for the rest of your life. I didn't think this argument through though as I have worn the same bracelet constantly since I graduated eighteen years ago!

(I wasn't trying to put her off though. I was defending why I don't have any. I love tattoos on other people but feel I am too fickle to commit to one myself.)

YANBU to not give her a monetary gift if she is planning on spending it on something you disapprove of. You are under no obbligaton to gift her cash. However I would keep your opinions to yourself. Tattoos are already going out of fashion. If she can’t afford one for the next few years chances are she won’t get one.

The thought of any girl getting a fortnite tattoo or a boy band, fills me with dread.
I only like tattoos if they are really well done. And meaningful.

Another heavily tattooed person who also thinks this is a bad idea. There's a high chance she'll end up regretting this one, given the subject matter and her age. Obviously it's her body and you can't stop her, and it won't be the end of the world if she does get it. I like the idea of asking her to wait 6 months and see if she still wants that design.

If I'm later life she doesn't like it, she can get a cover up or removal.
Or just not get one in the first place.
Laser surgery is painful and expensive

The more my mum tells me not to get more tattoos, makes me get more tattoos.
She's the same with my Piercings.. she thinks I have too many, so I go and get more.

The more you tell her not to get it, the more she will want to.
She's legally allowed to get one.
Let her make her own mistakes.. she'll soon realise it's there forever and has fucked up and will hopefully not do it again ☺️

My mum tells me if I want more tattoos and piercings, I've to pay for them myself because she won't give me birthday/Christmas money towards them.. try that approach.

my way round it was a bit odd. ds wanted a tattoo at 18. I didn't like the one he wanted lol. so i paid (for his birthday) for him to have a couple of others. a few years later he got the one I Didn't like, but at least he was sure by then.

@Ghanagirl because im me and I dont care what you think. Simple enough for you .

I can't forbid it any more but no way am I paying for it.

This

I'd feel the same and want to dissuade her OP but at nearly 19 I guess there is not much you can do.

What character is it?

The more my mum tells me not to get more tattoos, makes me get more tattoos.

Well no, nothing your mum says makes you get a tattoo or piercing. You are the one who does that. Your desire to rebel against your mother makes you want to, perhaps, but that ultimately comes from you.

A lot of the parents of my DDs friends (late teens) are extremely anti tattoos and piercings.

I don't really get it - of all the stuff they could be into or up to I think tats and piercings are not very high on my list of worries.

My mum tells me if I want more tattoos and piercings, I've to pay for them myself because she won't give me birthday/Christmas money towards them.. try that approach.

Controlling much???

Christmas/Birthday money is a gift and should not come with strings attached

“The more my mum tells me not to get more tattoos, makes me get more tattoos“

What a mature attitude.

It’s her ‘mistake’ to make.

Is it really that big a deal even if she does end up regretting it?

YABU. Her body, her decision.

I really want to know what character it is. I can't see the harm in one that you can hide with clothes so it won't affect her getting a job etc.

From 16 to 19 I REALLY wanted a Killing Joke inspired tattoo of Batman and Joker across my shoulder blades. By early twenties I was so glad I didn't do it... although I still love and collect comics.
I also love tattoos but agree with a previous poster - age and maturity mean I appreciate the art and skill of certain tattoos much more
I think a temporary or tracing of the tattoo in place for a few days including with some discussions of different artists, about time needed, price, level of pain and whether they can do it. If the artist won't talk to her about it especially as it's her first - I'd argue they aren't a great choice to get it done.
That should give her a better idea and a chance for an educated decision.
Then you can have a discussion about how it's paid for - and you're completely right if you don't want to pay for it, then don't.

We took the approach with DSDs that we’d give them money for birthdays etc on the condition they didn’t use our money for tattoos. They knew how anti we were and respected that we weren’t going to pay for them. They used other money though, and I know they regret at least some of the tattoos.

With DS (18) we are trying the wait six months and if you still want it then do it. He seems determined to do it though. I will bite my tongue but won’t be happy.

I quite like @echt’s idea of paying not to have one until 21. How much did you pay out of interest? I think it may take a lot of money...