To think it’s a bit odd that friend doesn’t ever mention pregnancy?

[Howobvious]

One of my closest friends never mentions my pregnancy/baby. I’m due next week and she has no idea (probably) unless she has a good memory from when I told her the DD at 12 weeks. Communication has dwindled a lot (used to speak daily by what’s app) but now she actively speaks about anything unrelated to babies when we do chat.

I really am not someone who is under the illusion that people are extremely interested so I don’t go on about it in the slightest but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a bit hurtful. My baby isnt that boring surely?! I know I will be too busy too give much thought when she arrives but it’s even at the stage where it will feel odd texting her to let her know he’s arrived, so I now plan to do it in a group WhatsApp chat that she’s a member of.

Anyone have any experience of this?

You can't just decide you want it both ways and expect others to fall into line with your wishes; either you are producing a human and this is a major and interesting life-changing event and you have to accept that part of that life change involves new dynamics in your personal relationships, or it's absolutely no big deal and not that interesting...

I tried to be supportive as she was also over 30 and single

Maybe she found you ever so slightly patronising? Hard to know.....

She might just not be interested at all. I'm willing to talk about most things, but babies are difficult as 1. I have no experience with them and 2. I don't care about them. I don't want children, so talking about them isn't natural, nor is saying 'aw your baby is cute'. Dunno why, it's just difficult and I feel like when I say it I'm being obviously fake and rude. Maybe she's the same and doesn't want to offend you so says nothing instead?

@van yes.. I didn't word that well reading back! Not meant like that at all! I didn't want to make the post longer by over explaining. I knew that my friend was facing the fact she may not have children and was as careful and mindful of her feeling as I could be.

I have to be honest before I had children I wasn't interested in friend's pregnancies. I just didn't really know what to say or ask. I had my first at 32, but at 30 it wasn't on my radar.

One of my best friends the same age as me had her first at 29, I don't think I ever really discussed her being pregnant as awful as that sounds. I had my first 8 months after she had her second, I was still a bit shit even then! Once I was pregnant I found out all about her pregnancies, she was happy to share. We were just at different stages when she had hers. We are still best friends now though.

It is sad and hurtful that she hasn't shown an interest in your pregnancy, even just out of politeness. She doesn't sound like a very good friend.

I would expect things to get even worse once the baby arrives I'm afraid, I predict the friendship will eventually fizzle out.

You should surround yourself with friends who inspire and uplift you, and cherish you. It doesn't sound like this friendship has staying power through the different stages in your lives.

On a positive note, you will meet lots of new friends throughout your baby/ child's life so your life will be full of people who are interested in children.

It is just pure jealousy OP, that horrible word. A true friend, whatever her own personal feelings or wants would want the friend she feels for or even loves to be safe, happy and want her to be happy... or else maybe she thinks she deserves more than you. Either way unless between you both can have a conversation, then it is not a worthwhile friendship.

You sound very self-absorbed and unempathetic towards your friend. I suspect you actually don't really like her much or you would show a little more sensitivity and self-awareness, irrespective of whether there's an underlying issue or not.

All I've heard in your posts is a resounding IT'S ALL ABOUT ME...

She doesn't want to hear about it. Respect that and find someone else to bore.

Just let the relationship be what it is, don't force your precious pregnancy all over it. If you grow apart so be it.

It's not at all unreasonable for you to wish that she were more interested, but given that she's clearly not, for whatever reason (none of your business why), then you are being very unreasonable not to show more maturity, tact and aplomb in how you are handling it.

With respect, how can I emphasise the salient facts any more than I have:
I DO NOT MENTION MY BABY. I ASK HER ABOUT HER LIFE & SHOW A LOT OF INTEREST ALL THE TIME.

I have said that I want to preserve the friendship. Can’t win on here so I think it’s best to back off from this thread.

“Find someone else to bore”. So bloody nasty 😂

Thank you PaulHollywoodsSexGut. I do treasure it I’m sorry your friends were so rubbish!